Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you my new niece, Shaanti Arianna, coming into the world with a bang…

While I’m at it, here’s the world’s greatest labor picture. She’d kill me if she knew I was showing you this, but hell, I’m leaving the country soon. She can do her worst.

10 minutes after this picture was taken, my little niece was born. Isn’t childbirth a beautiful thing?

I feel it only fair to tell you very, very few who actually read this sad little blog that despite my best intentions, it just doesn’t look like I’m going to be doing much with the blog for a while. I really, truly have so much to go on and on and on about (DPS driving me bat-shit crazy for one) but I have 10 days left until my husband moves to a different country and then 6 weeks to pack up myself and 3 kids and join him. I’m gonna be a little busy for a while. And I may take up drinking.

I almost forgot. We’re moving to Canada.

I am the proud auntie of a brand new, 8 lb., 7 oz. baby girl. She is as of yet nameless, and I won’t meet her until tomorrow, but I’m guessing there’ll be some baby pictures soon to come. Imagine that. Baby pictures. On this blog. Astonishing, I know.

Another American Idol post. I digust myself.

• Paula Abdul has big boobies. Or a hard workin’ push up bra. Maybe she should put a hat on the girls before they fall out all over the table.
• I bet Kelly has done a spelling bee or two.

And surprisingly enough, that’s all I’ve got.

Update:

Except to say this:

I don’t think Kelly has done spelling bees, not in the biblical sense, the way Daisy or Donna or Debbie or whoever was fabled to have done Dallas; I was simple saying that she sure stood up straight and tall behind that microphone and looked like she was concentrating pretty dang hard. That’s all. She seems like a nice girl.