Do you know what today is? Do you have any idea what today is? It’s February 24! Yippee! Today means two things.

One: I’d like to send a happy 32nd birthday to my childhood best friend, Rainy Day. I haven’t actually seen her since the day we buried her mother 19 years ago (wowzas, time flies by) and I haven’t spoken to her in a decade, but happy birthday anyway. Dude, I love you. So very very much. I miss you every day.

Incidentally, I’m not making that shit up. Her name really is Rainy Day. Her parents may have been tree-hugging hippies, but they’re both long gone and her mother was the most amazing woman to ever walk the earth, so they get a pass on the poor name choice.

Two: The 24th of February means that there are only 24 days left until my birthday. Unless it’s a leap year. Curse you, leap year. But it’s not this year, so let the countdown begin.

I’d like some earrings, a CD or two, a nice pen and maybe a decent* roll in the hay. You know, if you’re so inclined.

*I’d like a decent one. I would settle, however, for much, much less.