Things I am made of:

• Sugar
• Spice
• Everything nice

Things I do not happen to be made of:

• Anti-perspirant
• Pseudophedrine
• Money

I have dropped a good $100 or so in the past 6 months on socks. Now, not even I am such a scrooge as to pretend like $100 is a TON of money, but in relation to what it’s being spent on? Jeez. That’s a ton of socks. And how many pairs do my lovely darlings have to show for it? Um, like 3 each.

And so, today as I did my weekly 12 loads of laundry, I did the single most cheap ass old-lady thing I have even done in my whole life. I safety-pinned each pair of socks together before I put them in the wash. And here’s why.

To hear my kids tell it, they remove each pair of socks with tender-loving care and gently lay each one deep enough into the hamper as to ensure that nary a stray sock falls out and gets separated from its mate. This leaves me with only one conclusion:

The laundry room sock monsters are eating very, very well here at Chez Mr. Lady.

I an hardly believe I have sunk to these depths. I’m going to have to take up happy hour and bridge next. Ugh.