1of3 was completely absorbed in being 17 and swimming in the big pool by himself. How time flies.

My point is this. I put enough sunscreen on us to cause a small eclipse. This time, I remembered myself. (I usually don’t.) And my sweet children, who used the exact bottle of sunscreen as me, still have beautiful, glowing, healthy skin. I however, look a good deal like the American flag, if you factor in the starry-blue eyes. I put sunscreen on my face that was 1 1/2 times stronger than that on my shoulders, and it looks like I have a lobster firmly affixed to my forehead. My legs, however, had not one drop of sunscreen and sat hovering over a kiddie pool for hours and are still almost transparent.

Maybe fat blocks sunrays.

And so, on the Fourth of July, I took one for the team. I am a walking, talking, red and white striped illegal alien. ‘Cause me & my skin? We’re patriots.