I’ve done the breakdown of you, my dear readers, based on the comments left last week. It’s pretty interesting, those results:

• One guy is trying to make atonement (it’s made, by the way)
• One guy was surfing for blue-collar porn
• One dad has a Tron fetish (we’ll lump that in with the porn)
• One guy apparently likes prolonging torture
• One guy tripped and fell on me (like I’ve never heard that before)
• Two dads who are contractually obligated to read this mess
• One mom is plotting to steal my kid
• Three moms think I’m funny
• One chick just loves me
• Two single, hot, kidless chicks fueled by jealousy

That totals 14 readers. There’s no way that’s right, but heck, lurkers lurk. Lurk on, lurkers.

50% of my readers are men, 28.57% of whom are perverts. 35.71% of my readers have no children. 22.22% of you have no children and no uterus. 14.2% of girls have no kids, and 100% of those girls have dogs the same way I have kids. Not that they got them the same way, because that’s just gross, but that they adore their dogs and they walk them more th….oh, you get it. I should also mention that my cousin Kathy reads it, and she is A) related to me, B) a mom and C) and this is the whammy….CANADIAN! That means that she is the one person reading that really, truly fits what should be my target demographic. Hi, Kathy!

That’s right; I showed my work. That gets me a 1 grade letter higher test score, thank you very much. Thanks for playing, those who did. Those who didn’t, and you know who you are, go play now!