Dec 21 2007
Close, but not quite
Potty Training in 13 easy steps:
- Wait until they are ready. They’ll let you know.
- Get a potty chair for every room the kid spends time in.
Yes, that means you should probably buy stock in potty chairs. So. Worth. It. - Get used to naked babies. Take their pants off. If you leave their pants on, they will pee in them. Even if you buy really cute Dora panties. It doesn’t work to tell them not to pee on Dora when the potty they are to pee in also has Dora’s face plastered all over it. It DOESN’T work. Trust Mr. Lady on this one.
- If you must put pants on your kid, put pants on that are way too big. Make sure the crotch of those pants comes no higher than their knees. They won’t feel the pants on their bottom, and won’t pee in them. Make sure they can get them off easily, though.
- If you put pants that are too big on them, get used to bruised babies. They’re going to trip. A lot.
- Pump’m full of liquid. Break your no juice rule…let them go crazy on the juice, the water, the popsicles, whatever. Make them have to go.
- Go with them. Let’m watch YOU pee. Let’m watch you poo. Which is seriously gross and really uncomfortable, but it works, yo.
- Don’t worry about overnight. Staying dry overnight takes much longer. Keep a diaper stash on hand for outings (naked babies at the mall in December are frowned upon.)
- Ask them every ten minutes to go potty. Set a timer if you have to. You will get so good at this that you will find yourself rolling over in the middle of the night, rubbing your husband’s head, and asking him in your sweet voice if he needs to go potty. He will not be amused.
- Create a reward system. Lollipops work, stickers work, but 3 kids in, I have found that ‘You DID it!’s and high-fives kinda work best.
- Keep potty fun. If they manage to stand in front of the potty and pee all over the floor, that still counts. High fives are in order. (They WILL stand in front of the potty and pee on the floor, by the way.)
- Make sure you keep the potty chair accessible. Do not, under any circumstances, allow your older children to come home and throw their backpacks and coats on top of the potty chair. Do not let the potty chair get shoved into the corner when no one’s looking. Keep it in the middle of the room. Especially when you’re cooking dinner and are all distracted.
- In the event that the potty chair does get buried in a pile of clutter, be sure that you do not have another Dora item in the living room, like, say, a Dora push car
who’s seat has a lid and a hole in it, one small enough that a toddler can sit on it easily, all by her big girl self, while you’re slaving away in the kitchen. You know, one that seems, to a toddler, to be a perfectly acceptable substitute. Horrors will ensue.
Comments close after 5 days. Because Spam sucks. 23 Comments to “Close, but not quite”
uh - wtf makes a kiddo poo white?
and the pump them full of liquid thing… makes total sense - never thought of that.
and I hate this diaper gig so much I started putting Alex on the potty at 4 months old.
This is information that I need !! (Except that last visual…eek. I’m with Dawn - watcha feeding that child ??) One other question, Mr. Lady… how do you accomplish these things when Mr. Potty Trainer has a curious little sister, like in our house ?? Speaking of horrors. O.M.G.
ew! I have successfully potty trained five children…NO more diapers after 11 years straight….YEAH! Merry Christmas!
I am so glad to be beyond this stage….but my son used to pee in the closet during the night, that was not a delightful discovery mind you.
Great T13, my first visit here but I plan to return.
Now that’s what I call a PRESENT!
Awesome idea.
I was so lucky. Both of my boys were super easy to potty train. My oldest at 2 years 5 months, and the youngest at 2 years 4 months. My potty training theory went as such : Put on the undies and bring on the mess, they’ll learn eventually. I was right.
lol!
Great list!
You’ve just earned my first smile of the day. How funny!
My oldest was very resistant to the potty. My 17 year old (first one I birthed) was trained shortly after he turned 1, and was super easy. The other two…well, they were more like my oldest. As a matter of fact, my youngest…I didn’t push her to train until she was 3. Took a few months with her, but hey…she was the baby, right?
Say it isn’t so.
LOL. You made my day.
We’re still having potty issues with our 3.5 y/o! But HEY! At least she made a poo-poo somewhere other then her diaper or floor! HIGH FIVE!
lolololol Just looking at that last picture makes my eyes all stingy from laughing.
Anne at annenahm.com
I like it!
She was pretty clever to think about it enough to poo in there. Much better than all over the carpet. Plastic is easier to clean too!
I love it. Funniest thing I’ve read all day.
Oh dear. You can see her logic, though, that’s for sure. I say, hell… celebrate! She went to the potty on her own! (or did one of her older brothers have a hand in this?)
*grin*
Hee!! If that girl got that poo through that little hole then she deserves a reward!
Also I see the pic is muted from the one before so perhaps her poo is not white as it seems? Can you tell the Mama posters from the non Mama’s from their questions about poo?
LOL
It is also in the potty rule book that you shouldn’t potty train until they ARE dry through the night.
In my case I would of been potty training a 12 yr old. Ugh.
I potty trained LM when I we were at the beach for vacation. Him running around in the sand naked and peeing outside was the trick…
Not one accident yet and it’s been 1.5 years and no diapers…YEA!!
Holy Christ. 3of3 knocks me out, seriously.
That is some really earthy parenting advice. My mother was pretty brisk about it. “Go put your pee pee in the toilet,” she said. It made it seem fairly simple. 13 Extraordinary Winter scenes
Mr. Lady, I know I already posted BUT I had to share this with you. I shared this post with the ladies in my office and we are all cracking up and applauding for L and you!!
We all are wishing you a Merry Christmas and a diaper free New Year!!
DUDE, it wasn’t on the floor or cakes in panties or in the carseat or worse yet picked up and smooshed between little fingers… I’d say score!
LMAO here, honey!!!! Merry Christmas and Happy Potty Training!
hilarious. and gross. and hilarious.
Holy crap. Umm, will fully be book-marking this shit for future reference…
I am so lucky that I stumbled onto your blog. I am also so grateful for your kind words on my blog! You really made my day!
I am even MOST ecstatic that this post was the first one I read of yours. WOW! (I would say Holy Crap, but that was already used).
You have a fun blog. Expect to get more comments.
Have fun!
Dan Leone
(and because I agree that Blogger sucks, danleone@gmail.com)
this was so damn funny…also makes we wanna buy more potties and WTF did you get an ACTUAL dora potty??????
so like, “they’ll let you know,” can that be construed as acting as if exorcism is needed during any and all diaper changes and freaking out upon going in the diaper count?
learn me, please.