Jan 04 2008

Christmas Ornaments (or the impending death thereof)…A Continuing Series

Direct complaints to Mr Lady in regards to Holidays and such

Christmas is a time of the year to reflect on the true meaning of the words, “Survival of the Fittest.” Turkeys, pigs, evergreen trees; you are all put on notice from December 1st to December 24th. In our house, that warning extends one step further….to the Christmas Ornaments. Those lovely childhood mementos stand little chance up against 2007’s most infamous mass murderer, The Notorious Three of Three.Once a noble Santa stood tall and proud, now he is merely two creepy red sticks of the man he used to be.Not even the iconic Snoopy was spared from her Rampage of Carnage..That’s much more disturbing than a headless horseman, if you ask me.She moved from heads to legs, which are apparently less messy to transport and easier to shove in the freezer. Or something like that. Poor, tailless bird.I know it’s hard to make out, but that little nugget on the box? A foot from, yes, our most important holiday figure, the Man in Red, Santa Claus himself.Her reign of terror knows no limits.

Notice how she so subtly lures her prey into the trap.“Well, aren’t you just the pwettiest fing I have ever seen! Wanna pway wif me?I have my Chwistmas dwess on and we are gonna have so much fun pwaying wif Dorwa and Boots!”“Aha! Gotcha, sucka! You’re mine, now. Mwahahahahaha!”

That kid? Pure. Evil.

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Comments close after 5 days. Because Spam sucks. 11 Comments to “Christmas Ornaments (or the impending death thereof)…A Continuing Series”

  1. # Audubon Ronon 04 Jan 2008 at

    The Demolition babe.

    Cute.

  2. # terra (aka rilah)on 04 Jan 2008 at

    it’s dora, the destroyer, that’s responsible. really. she does it at my house too.

  3. # Aimee Greeblemonkeyon 04 Jan 2008 at

    I pity the fool!

  4. # Huckdollon 04 Jan 2008 at

    Her evil is cleverly disquised!

    Love the hair, love the dress, love her standing on the present, love her innocence! Mmkay, lemme go die of cuteness overload now.

  5. # Veronicaon 04 Jan 2008 at

    Whose present was she standing on?

  6. # OHmommyon 04 Jan 2008 at

    That kid? Pure. Girl.

    Girls will jump through hoops to get what they want. Yes? I am a good jumper.

  7. # 'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why!on 04 Jan 2008 at

    Poor Snoopy!
    I am already looking for plastic ornaments for the tree next year. You should have seen what the Poose did to Great-Granddaddy’s nativity scene!

  8. # Sandy C.on 05 Jan 2008 at

    ROFL! Oh I’d fall into her trap too..she’s adorable! Your captions are hilarious :) I can relate…I have one 2-yr old destruct-o princess too ;)

  9. # Monicaon 05 Jan 2008 at

    LOL - so funny. LOVE the captions and pronunciations, because my 2-year old sounds so funny too. I sound like the chick above me, but seriously - so cute. I’m a fellow ohmommy-lover - so can we commiserate together while she leaves us in the dust? Love your blog -

  10. # Sassy Lucyon 05 Jan 2008 at

    Evil disguised so cutely…I think not…but then again my nephew is Damian in blong wig…so possible. Sorry about the ornaments.

  11. # The Supreme High Ruler of the W. Householdon 06 Jan 2008 at

    Love the snoopy pic!