It is true, I am the shittiest mother alive.
Here I am, now FOUR DAYS PAST my kids birthday, and I haven’t even bothered to write him a post. I can write my ex boyfriend a post on his birthday right on time, but the poor middle child? Way to perpetuate the stereo-type he so lives by in the first place.
Don’t worry about him, though. In a week, I’ll edit out that top part, change the time stamp, and in 20 years he’ll be none the wiser.
*ahem*
My dear baby boy, my TXU, happy 8th birthday. Today we realized that you are now the magic age that allows you to go down the waterslide at the pool all by yourself. This may the single greatest thing that has ever happened to you in your life so far. Well, that and Blizzards. Bygones.
I have written about you, for good or evil, in every conceivable light on this here bloggety blog. The truth is, though, that there is no way to put you into print. You are flickers of your past and glimpses of your future. You are forever changing and shifting and moving. You are a prism that came through me to light our world. In you, I am reminded and motivated at the same time. I knew you the day I met you, the second I met you, the way you know someone for a life time. You were no accident, you, being mine. As much as I don’t believe in any of that stuff, you were meant to be, not just a kid, but my kid in my life at this exact time.
You remind me that I must have done something right along the way, because seriously? You are a gift, a present, a reward.
I thought that I would take a walk down amnesia lane and go over some of my favorite things you have ever said to me.
mn
Tuesday, 18 March, 2008 at 19:35absolutely funny post about a boy who is simply what any boy should be…someone who makes people laugh. and think he’s so crazy.
wish us moms could bottle it all up. happy birthday, mine’s two years away.
MamaWise
Tuesday, 18 March, 2008 at 19:52Happy birthday! Boys are kewl. My oldest is starting to say that crazy stuff… I sometimes don’t know how to react… and the more I laugh, the more he does it. I just can’t ignore funny penis comments! LOL
MamaWise’s last blog post..Dear Kelloggs: Pop Tart Division
BusyDad
Tuesday, 18 March, 2008 at 19:54Oh that was killer good. What a cool kid. Well worth the 4 day delay, but just in case, you should back date this and re-title. You have real-world smarts, you. Man I bet if I used that tickle line back in the day, I would have scored big. Damn, you learn the best things after the fact.
BusyDad’s last blog post..(Toy) Breaking News
MommyTime
Tuesday, 18 March, 2008 at 20:09This is a great letter. And, frankly, I think that when he’s in his 20s, he’s going to be so mortified that you wrote all about his penis for the Internets to read that he won’t even care that much about the date…but I’m only guessing…
MommyTime’s last blog post..Getting to Know Me(me)
Maggie
Tuesday, 18 March, 2008 at 20:11How awesome. What a fun and silly kid. I wear slippers constantly, and you all are welcome to visit anytime ;)
Maggie’s last blog post..Maggie’s Make Believe Cooking Show
Betsy Bird
Tuesday, 18 March, 2008 at 20:16If he’s that funny, and grows up to write as well as his mama, he’s going to be rich and famous.
Betsy Bird’s last blog post..The Bird Family Debating Society and Supper Club
daysgoby
Tuesday, 18 March, 2008 at 20:24What a great kiddo. Happy Birthday!
daysgoby’s last blog post..yup, still a city girl
Leslie Dillinger
Tuesday, 18 March, 2008 at 20:41Ah, 2of3. Happy Birthday again. And thanks for making me laugh out loud during a rough time. I need it!
Diane
Tuesday, 18 March, 2008 at 20:50You have such a way about you when you write about your family and friends. Wickedly funny and moving post.
Diane’s last blog post..Colorado Avalanche tickets
Natalie
Tuesday, 18 March, 2008 at 21:10Dudette, you brought tears to my eyes. My son is but half TXU’s age, yet I could see his future in this post. It was beautifully funny. Who cares if it’s late? Heck, I didn’t do a post this year either. Something about being put on the spot makes me clinch my buttcheeks up and I can’t speak. Happy belated birthday to TXU!
Evi
Tuesday, 18 March, 2008 at 21:55I tried to change my name to Julie growing up. *shakes her head* I have no idea why, but I did. My mom still calls me Julie every once in a while. My sister wanted to be Nancy (yeah, Nancy) and so mom still calls her that sometimes, too.
Evi’s last blog post..Blowing with the wind of change
Loralee
Tuesday, 18 March, 2008 at 22:04Normally, I would write “GOOD HELL, YOU MADE ME SPRAY DIET COKE ON MY MONITOR WITH THAT TITLE!”
Sadly, since I am still in Diet Coke absentia, I can only say that about water and it just ISN’T the same.
(The guffawing behind it is still utterly sincere, though!)
Loralee’s last blog post..Sideblog: Johnson’s & Johnson does not welcome babies at ?Camp Baby?
zoeyjane
Tuesday, 18 March, 2008 at 22:05i wanted to change my name to rose in the second grade. had a whole rose-designed R as part of it. sadly, they just thought i was precocious. happy (on time) bday to tmx.
ps. LOOK!
zoeyjane’s last blog post..Too early to wake.
Allie Bear
Tuesday, 18 March, 2008 at 22:51You write awesome letters, boys are so much fun. Happy Birthday TXU!
Allie Bear’s last blog post..Another party …because I get around.
Ashley Sanders
Tuesday, 18 March, 2008 at 22:54*tear* so very sweet…and hilarious. :)
Ashley Sanders’s last blog post..To my husband?
tiff
Tuesday, 18 March, 2008 at 22:59Happy birthday TXU and hope you had a lovely birthing day too Mr Lady.
I love it when they talk about their penis. Noah has just started referring to it. I don’t know whether to say Awwww or Ack! Is this training for when they are young adults and refer to their penis in the third person or give it some weird name like Mr Shlong?!?!?!
tiff’s last blog post..Can I ask a favour?
Huckdoll
Tuesday, 18 March, 2008 at 23:06What a character! ((LOL)) “Can I pee on you?” Very nice TXU!
Huckdoll’s last blog post..“Your Presence is NOT Requested…..”
janet
Tuesday, 18 March, 2008 at 23:58fortunately, i wasn’t drinking anything when i read this post. my keyboard has been sprayed too many times as it is.
funny funny boy….happy birthday, txu
janet’s last blog post..I canNOT believe what a dork I am. Seriously.
Miss Ann Thrope
Wednesday, 19 March, 2008 at 2:59Men. They all think their penis is beautiful, don’t they? And they all gotta piss on something….
That kid of yours is hilarious. What a fabulous post, made me giggle all kindsa crazy….
Miss Ann Thrope’s last blog post..Your One-Stop Hobbie Shop…
Darla
Wednesday, 19 March, 2008 at 4:15Awesome post!!
Darla’s last blog post..A Little Charity Goes a Long Way
Chickadee
Wednesday, 19 March, 2008 at 4:51How do you do it? That post gave me the single best ab workout I’ve had in months, and then had me teary at the end.
What a great kid. They come from good moms though, don’t they? Happy Birthday TXU.
ohmommy
Wednesday, 19 March, 2008 at 5:49It’s so hard to put into words. And yet, you did!Perfect post.
ohmommy’s last blog post..Late Night Visions – Early Morning Regrets
TRACI
Wednesday, 19 March, 2008 at 7:50Ok, now he cracks me up also!!
TRACI’s last blog post..The Lacating Chronicles
Momo Fali
Wednesday, 19 March, 2008 at 8:58That was McAwesome!
Momo Fali’s last blog post..Tonight I Plopped Down With A Glass Of Wine
Kim
Wednesday, 19 March, 2008 at 9:59Water all over my monitor because I was all into the sweet moments of tickles and then you throw a penis at me..LOL
Happy Birthday to your little man!
Kim’s last blog post..Not So Wordless Wednesday
Jennifer
Wednesday, 19 March, 2008 at 10:21What an awesome post!! Late or not, that’s simply incredible!!
And the penis stuff is HILARIOUS!!!
Jennifer’s last blog post..Bastard Pears.
Jenni
Wednesday, 19 March, 2008 at 11:28Wonderful! He’s going to love you for capturing his proudest moments in writing forever!
Jenni’s last blog post..Gave A Whole New Meaning To The Phrase “Hot Lips”
Kathryn
Wednesday, 19 March, 2008 at 12:33How do you do that? How do you make me laugh and cry at the same time? That was beautiful! I’m sure he won’t give a crap that it was a smidge late. That was fabulous!
Happy Birthday, kiddo!
Kathryn’s last blog post..WW- Egg-quisite!
Honeybell
Wednesday, 19 March, 2008 at 13:06Never has anything so beautiful cracked me up so much. AWESOME.
Honeybell’s last blog post..My Life In Pictures: 37 Years of Honeybell
Jenty
Wednesday, 19 March, 2008 at 13:07Beautiful post! He’s going to love it when he’s older.
And the best comment imo… the fake mom one LMAO!
Jenty’s last blog post..Random ramblings
Kay
Wednesday, 19 March, 2008 at 13:57I think I had a guy try to sell me on the peeing no me thing once. ;) Um, I didn’t go for it either.
Kay’s last blog post..This ones for you Burfica
Kay
Wednesday, 19 March, 2008 at 13:58um peeing ON me..but I think you got the gist of it..heh.
Kay’s last blog post..This ones for you Burfica
Ricardo
Wednesday, 19 March, 2008 at 20:11Happy belated birthday to him! Mine is coming up in just a few days. Big times I tell you!
Ricardo’s last blog post..Barfly
Don Mills Diva
Thursday, 20 March, 2008 at 11:46Now that is the kind of post that he will be proud of when he’s 20 – he’ll know his mom was cool!
Don Mills Diva’s last blog post..Maybe just because
Irene
Thursday, 20 March, 2008 at 11:59What a great letter. I am not sure he will appreciate the fact that you shared his most intimate secrets….but we all got a huge kick out of them! Very sweet.
Irene’s last blog post..Help! There’s a cat up my tree!
Dette
Monday, 24 March, 2008 at 9:26OMG – this one had me rollin. Your boy is crackin’ me up over here. I can’t even remember how I stumbled onto your blog but am totally bookmarkin’ ya.
Loooove it!