Why America is Cooler Than Canada, A Continuing Series

13. Netflix

12. HBO

11. Carters Baby Clothes

10. Emeril’s Creole Seasoning

9. Mr. Goodbar

8. MARLBORO’S

7. The imperial system of measurement. The metric system is the only arbitrary unit of measurement. The Cubit? Your forearm. The foot? YOUR FOOT. The meter? The distance from the North Pole to the Equator, divided ten million times. Leave it to Napoleon to make it as obscurely difficult as freaking possible to measure something.

6. One National language. Incidentally, French is the ONLY class my *ahem* former honor role gifted and talented dork of a kid pulled an A in last semester.

5. Prostitution is illegal. Because, I mean, if you’re going to be all naughty, and apparently you are, you might as well get to experience a fully naughty moment. It’s more exciting if you don’t have permission. Or so I hear. Around. And stuff. Moving on…

4. Pasta. P-ah-sta. Not P-aaaa-sta. Pahsta. It’s just the way things should be. I’ll give them colour and humour and even eh? is growing on me, but I am putting my damn foot DOWN on pasta.

3. ~~iPhones~~. TARGET.

2. Health care. There, I said it. I feel dirty and traitorous, and I think the little liberal in me just shot herself in the right temple. But, seriously guys, you get what you pay for. Now, having done my ‘broke as a joke single waitress mother with absolutely no insurance and three kids, one of which was a baby and one has a chronic, life-threatening illness’ (oh, it’s just asthma. Relax.) stint, I certainly lovelovelove and appreciate being able to walk into any doctor, any day, and not worry that maybe I have only $3.29 in the bank. I love that my three 3 ER trips so far combined have cost me $3,000 less than the one trip I had in Denver with the baby. That one cost me, guess…$3,000. EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE GOOD, QUALITY HEALTH CARE. But…..Not everyone should have to have government issued and regulated health care, and have that only. Do they not realize how many tax dollars they could save by giving this (admittedly sufficient) health care only to those who needed it, even if they left the margin of Needed It very, very wide? Given the choice, I would opt out and go private. There, I just saved Canada $12K. (I am SO not talking about prescriptions in here. You guys in the states are getting so freaking screwed, you have no idea. Even those of you who think you know, you don’t. It’s almost laughable.)

I have had very adequate health care here. I went to the doctor last week, told him I had a sinus infection, he wrote me an Amox scrip, told me not to fill it until I tried saline rinses for a week, and sent me on my merry way. Even when I was asking a doctor to please for the love of god up my dosage of meds before I jumped off a cliff, I was in and out in 5 minutes. You want antibiotics? Here you go! You want antidepressants? No problem. Next time, I’m going for Valium. Maybe they just don’t fuck around here, but I get the distinct impression that the medical system as a whole is trying as hard as it can to do as much as it can as fast as it can. This just doesn’t bode well in the “whole body care” department for me. I guess my point is that here, it is GOOD, but it’s not exactly thorough. And it’s really inefficiently run. But that’s another chapter.

1. Freedom of motherfucking Speech, motherfuckers. David wrote about this yesterday, and it is the catalyst for this whole tirade of mine. Apparently, in Canada, stupid asshats can sue people for having differing political views and airing them out in a paid for, self hosted website. Oh My God, the Conservatives are TYPING! Someone STOP THEM!

Richard Warman has brought almost half these cases single-handledly, getting websites he doesn

Pretty Life Online

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 1:58

great list here!!! mine’s up too hope you can drop by.

Kelley

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 2:58

*snort* so was that before or after the spiked coffee?

Being Australian I have no idea of the differences between the US and Canada. But I am thinking Canada is a lot like here. But with bears. Am I close?

Kelley’s last blog post..Bouncy castles and idiots at the Psychic festival.

Veronica

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 3:11

Maybe someone should sue because they don’t like Richard Warman getting to sue everyone.

Would that work?

Veronica’s last blog post..Letters

Queen Mommy

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 3:54

I have called the movers. I have secured duct tape for my mouth.

We are headin’ NORTH!!

Queen Mommy’s last blog post..It did hurt me more than him

CableGirl

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 4:45

Ok, here’s a heads up about zip.ca which is pretty much exactly the same thing as netflix. Had it the whole time I lived in Canada and it works great. So, that problem is solved.

As for the whole imperial measurement thing… sure, I like the history behind the ideas for the measurements, but seriously, is everyone’s foot 12 inches? I still prefer metric and since every other European country uses it, it is much easier to follow.

In the five years I was living in Canada I had not one single issue with my health care coverage. Granted it was through the university, but I was covered and so was CableDad and for the first few months (we moved when I was 6 months preggo) so was my baby. My medicine was actually affordable and it didn’t cost me $500 just to walk through the door. That being said, yeah, I get your rant… but I wouldn’t say that the US system is better. A conflation of the two is what’s needed.

I couldn’t agree more with you about the freedom of speech thing. I’m going to have to go read up on this Warman thing. Thanks for the heads up.

As for the language, living down here in Miami, i promise you there is not one national language. Sure, maybe legally, but if you don’t speak Spanish your fucked. Most people at stores in my neighborhood won’t even look at you if you don’t speak Spanish and forget ever hiring help for, oh say, roach extermination… or gardening…. or roofing… or tree trimming.. or, plumbing. Yeah, you don’t speak Spanish, the f^ck you. That is the majority attitude down here… with many notable exceptions to be sure. I didn’t even encounter that kind of language hostility in Quebec.

That’s my $.02 :)

CableGirl’s last blog post..She’s a little young to have a monkey on her back, isn’t she?

Kimmelin

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 5:50

Oh, you SOOO know my pain! Being a Montanan, we definitely fall under the U.S., ridiculously SCREWED UP health care dilema. Last year, my family paid over $12,000 OUT OF POCKET for health care–and we have one of the better private health care packages (that could have equated to a fabulous Mediterranean vacation somewhere…). I too have a son w/ asthma which means regular medication refills, extra doctors visits (I’m considering going back to work as a PA for this alone–why not take advantage of all the free medication samples and access to colleagues who will surely perform exams pro-bono?)and, God-forbid the occasional ER visit when things really aren’t going well.

It’s good, however, to hear your side of the story regarding national healthcare. This is, of course, a hot topic w/ our up-coming election (yeah…get Bush out of office!). Having recently been indoctrinated by Michael Moore’s Sicko…the film left me wondering what the real scoop is from the standpoint of folks who LIVE with a national health care system. Hhhhmmm…is there really a perfect answer? Oh yes–NEVER GET SICK!

Hannah Specter

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 5:55

Hmmmm….you have given me something to chew on. I am saddened by our healthcare situation here, maybe if there could be a mix of both private and public healthcare, that would be best. Where the people with the cash and health can get the care and those without can have something to catch them.

I too just watched Sicko. it really gave me lots to think about, but thanks for given me more. I’m going to go sit in my corner and think for awhile now.

Hannah Specter’s last blog post..Bad Dreams Abound

ali

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 6:19

as an american living in canada, i could add about 100 more things to that list. fruity pebbles. cheesecake factory. TARGET. but i will tell you that you CAN have an iphone in canada. you can get on a plan through Rogers. my physiotherapist has one.

ali’s last blog post..obsess much?!

Angie

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 6:34

Having lived in Canada myself for 2 years, I concur with everything you have stated here and I am a conservative.

My additions: spicy freaking food (their definition of spicy is out of whack!), Target, cheese that doesn’t require a 2nd mortgage to purchase and an ice cold beer that costs less than a bottle of wine (or about. I exaggerate here and there)

KEEP BELIEVING

Angie’s last blog post..Results – April 9, 2008

Penelope Anne aka The Mama Bear

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 6:43

I think you showed some definiet insight to the healthcare system, which would make some of us Americans rethink heading for the border…Interesting list.
Where in Canada? I need more souvenier spoons…hey, I beg, and I damn proud of it…I collect them for the princess.

Penelope Anne aka The Mama Bear’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #28 ~ WI Vanity Plates Edition 1

Marge

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 6:55

Please, please, please read Where Have All The Leaders Gone?. It will take you two hours. Very worthy read. (and you’ll get some laughs out of it too). Maybe there is a copy at your local library. Run and check it out quick before Warman gets it banned.

Marge’s last blog post..If I Had Seven Arms

she

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 7:14

i just joined netflix and dropped blockbuster!

Ashley Sanders

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 7:33

Now I’m all curious about the stuff you’ve “found out” about America but won’t blog about. I like learning about that sort of stuff.

Ashley Sanders’s last blog post..Hormonal?

Kathryn

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 8:33

Yep. Something needs to be done about healthcare in the US but I don’t think universal is it. The hubby and I pay close to $12,000 a year for insurance and it doesn’t even cover maternity so we also paid about $7000 last year FOR A NATURAL CHILDBIRTH. ACK!!!
Oh, and I’m a stupid conservative. ;)

Kathryn’s last blog post..Inspirational

zoeyjane

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 8:34

i am speechless. prolly cuz as one born and raised here, i have a chip implanted in my brain disallowing anything ‘unpatriotic’ or worse, and actually used ‘treasonous’ from coming out of my mouth more often than once a week, in a very quiet voice.

i find most canadians with strong political urgings that DON’T go with the current house/preferrance just tend to STFU. unless it’s about the states, that is. we;re all about bashing the states. bush just gave us a good reason :P

zoeyjane’s last blog post..Playing catch up

Shannon

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 8:52

I’ve lived in Canada basically my whole life and heard a total of about 2 people call pasta “pAAAsta”. Everyone I know says “Pah-sta” and I’ve spent time with people from every province. So I’m a little confused about that one.

I have to say that I am a little shocked to hear you say that freedom of speech is more restricted in Canada than the US. Of course that jackass who is suing everyone who doesn’t agree with him is clearly looney tunes. Maybe it’s just Canadian snobbery, but I’ve always felt the general consensus here was that we have more freedom here to disagree and talk about disagreeing and all that stuff than in the states. Or at least that we all whine about the same amount about the same types of things.

I have definitely never heard someone say that Canadians sue each other more over stupid stuff! Growing up it was always a given that Americans are the ones suing each other over petty things. This is probably grossly unfair and inaccurate. But I’m just saying, I think we tend to like to think the “other guys” are more unreasonable. But that whole arbitrary metric system….well…you may have a point there! :)

Shannon’s last blog post..forked up

Maggie

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 9:01

Just awesome! It’s amazing what living outside of your own country for a length of time will do for your perspective, some good, some not so good, but all of it far different and more realistic than just never leaving the borders and assuming you know things. I really enjoyed this, and I’d cry without a Target.

Maggie’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen 4/10/08

Xbox4NappyRash

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 9:40

Mmmmmm, without getting too deep on the whole thing, just going on the health care issue alone. Someone once said something along the lines of ‘a society is to be judged on how it treats it weakest members’, for me that’s the “poor”. Canada looks after it’s “poor” in this regard.

Gets my respect.

After that wee bout of seriousness, I need me a lie down…

Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..24,000,000,000 to 1

LaskiGal

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 11:10

How is it even possible that you do not have a career as a writer? Your writing is honest, real, raw, thought-provoking . . .

You have a gift with words, woman. You truly do. (I know I’m only an English teacher, but that’s gotta count for something . . . even a little something since I can at the very least spot really bad writing!).

And #1 and #2 . . . SPOT ON!

PS . . . I loathe the metric system.

LaskiGal’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen: What I’ve Learned Part II

Ricardo

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 12:01

I LOVE THIS POST!!!

I have been to Canada a few times and totally loved it. In fact, I would move there. Seriously I would. the lack of free speech stuff is worrisome but have you read what King George is trying to do here? Everyone can get spied on for no reason and I can see some Republican here trying to pull this stuff that you discuss about websites and such. And prostitution is legal? I’ll be right over. :-P

Ricardo’s last blog post..Are Women More Combative than Men?

Candy

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 12:29

That healthcare paragraph has me intrigued. I think, however, that if you suddenly started giving the “needy” free, if only adequate, healthcare, there would eventually be a furor over how the wealthy have access to better healthcare than the poor and yadda yadda yadda. Kinda like what we have here in the States, come to think on it.

And I’m only guessing here, but I wonder if one of the reasons the drug companies can afford to give Canada lower priced meds so they can be administered free under your health plan, is because they know we Americans are going to pay quadruple what they’re worth. They have to make their money somehow.

Candy’s last blog post..I Think My Cell Phone is Trying to Tell Me Something

Denise

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 12:33

#9 is the only one I unequivocally agree with you on. I do agree with many of the others, but, of course, I have my own opinions. And, that Richard Warman ought to be taken out and shot! In America he’d be laughed out of court!

hubs

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 14:05

I love this line from wikipedia:

The gram, originally one millionth of the mass of a cubic metre of water, is currently defined by one thousandth of the mass of a specific object that is kept in a vault in France; however there are efforts underway to redefine it in terms of physical quantities that could be reproduced in any laboratory with suitable equipment.

Kori

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 14:19

Marlboros and Health care; I am thinking I should actually move to canada.

Kori’s last blog post..So I Lied-Shoot Me

Toni

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 14:57

Hey, Conservative American here. I have often wondered how happy we would be with Universal Healthcare if we had it. I totally agree that some changes need to be made – we paid over 10,000 dollars for coverage last year and on 1 income that makes it tough. I just don’t think that government run healthcare is the answer. I just don’t believe the government can actually do things better.

As for prescriptions I am going to do some checking but I think the person who wrote the comment about Canada and other places being able to get it cheaper because Americans pay is probably close to true and as they said they aren’t going to do it for free. That is part of it. Also, I think they are the ones that come up with these drugs that help so many people and if they don’t have the money for that research or if they shut down all together who will be coming up with the drugs and how far back are we pushing the cure for certain cancers and other diseases when this happens. I don’t have the answers but these are some of the questions I have when people talk about the big bad drug companies…

I did enjoy your list and hopefully that joker who is suing people will get put in his place and in my opinion America has A LOT of CRAZY lawsuits ourselves!!!!

Tara R.

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 14:59

That Warman thing is seriously whacked… I did like the idea of someone suing him, for suing everyone else. Crazy!

Tara R.’s last blog post..Listen to your child’s fears

April

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 15:40

I fucking love you!!

April’s last blog post..The 35 Post

molly_g

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 15:42

So, great post, I was going to comment here with a very coherent comment, etc. You completely changed the direction of my mind with a single mention of Frontier. Dude. I have to go to Abq this summer.

molly_g’s last blog post..Booger Question

Secret Agent Mama

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 19:35

I fucking love you, too!

Secret Agent Mama’s last blog post..Project 365 (231/365)

christy

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 19:45

Yeah, I think we need more time with the person in healthcare, with their soul. (I just threw up a little in my mouth at my gaffe/lack of sarcasm.) I love drugs, personally, but think we really need someone to hold our faces in their hands and really mean, “I want to help”.

(I’m in nursing school, btw.)

RE: Freedom. Yeah. The only censor should be kindness to the deserving. But not if it’s PC kindness. That’s like a sympathy fuck.

Isn’t it great to be allied with the only country in the world where questioning your patriotism is the most patriotic act of all?

christy’s last blog post..Shitty moods are as stupid as pollyanna-ish moods. YAH!!!!

Jenni

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 20:52

I’m just a wee bit confused. Which language, exactly, is our national language?

Great list!

Jenni’s last blog post..Warning: Cute Hiney Ahead (And the Kid’s is Okay, Too)

Leslie Dillinger

Thursday, 10 April, 2008 at 22:17

Dude, relocate to Seattle already. The state of Washington NEEDS you, and shit. (Also, I NEED you.)

Mindi

Friday, 11 April, 2008 at 5:54

Forget what Leslie said: move to the suburbs of Philadelphia….we have Wawa!

And Marlboro’s do kick ass!

Mindi’s last blog post..Life with Regan

Mark

Friday, 11 April, 2008 at 10:36

Don’t forget Chipotle.

Momo Fali

Friday, 11 April, 2008 at 13:10

Amen sister!

Momo Fali’s last blog post..Ah…Good Times, Good Times

janethesane

Friday, 11 April, 2008 at 19:53

Great post but can we have our black t-shirt back?

janethesane’s last blog post..Embarassing Moment – For Amanda

Amanda (Shamelessly Sassy)

Saturday, 12 April, 2008 at 6:16

You had me at Marlboro’s and Target.

Amanda (Shamelessly Sassy)’s last blog post..Honey

arctic_front

Saturday, 12 April, 2008 at 14:16

I just clicked on your name as a result of your post at SDA.

I must say, after reading your list and rant on various topics, I would say that I disagree with your claim to be a ‘leftard’

You have some very ‘proper’ conservative values, aka, freedom of speech, choice in healthcare ect. I think a U.S. ‘lefty’ is still way more conservative than a Canadian conservative. I did enjoy your post, and will add you to my favorites. I will come back and see what other ‘lefty’ ideas you have in the future and reserve judgement of your being a Leftard. Cheers, and welcome to Kanuckistan

The Phantom

Saturday, 12 April, 2008 at 15:00

I must concur with arctic_front. You can pretend to be a Lefty, but y’all ain’t one.

Time to put that Camaro with no front clip on the front lawn, Mr. Lady, black out a couple teeth. You’re officially a knuckle draggin’ hillbilly in the Canadian Leftosphere. Probably get your Notice of Suit from St. Lucy the Perpetually Offended sometime next week.

The Phantom’s last blog post..Olympic wrestling event starts early.

Jan

Saturday, 12 April, 2008 at 19:33

Phantom & Arctic – also drifted over from Kate’s and as I read through that list, I thought, “Wha’s she talking ’bout? This ain’t no leftie.” :-)

How long did you say you’d been in Canada? Like the metric system, it may take you some time to get your bearings. You will have to lean a lot further to the left before you can officially join their ranks – like maybe lie down with your head facing west.

Anyway, welcome!

Crunchy Carpets

Sunday, 13 April, 2008 at 10:00

Emm…ONE national language??? then how come EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE was repeated in Spanish down in SoCal?

I think it is just semantics.

Healthcare…while i believe that everyone does deserve affordable basic health care without the insurance companies running the show….I do agree that our program needs help. And yes, they do chuck the drugs at you and rush you…THAT is one of the big problems.

Target….I agree.

Warman…I don’t know…we are pretty open about our protests and freedom to speak…isn’t he just copying the lawsuit happy american way? I mean we hear WAY more about people suing over EVERYTHING in the states compared to here.

We just learned that from TV

Huckdoll

Monday, 14 April, 2008 at 17:12

Hee, I was giggling in that vid of the little guy making p-ah-sta. I totally say paaasta, weird…who knew? Not me.

Oh well, tomato, tamato :)

Huckdoll’s last blog post..Hipbaby Nerd

Joe

Tuesday, 15 April, 2008 at 22:28

Canada, America’s Hat. Period. Bunch of crazy socialist trying to one up each other politically while the nation they serve suffers. I love Canadians, don’t enjoy the politics…heck I don’t like US politics either.