May 28 2008
It’s the Time of the Season…
Let’s hope you can see the picture now. Also, there’s some more terrible advice over at Stark Raving Dads
today. Go, and be amazed. At our mediocrity.
MommyTime, my, like, just about all-time favorite blogging chic, wants to know your prom story.
I don’t have a picture of me in my dress, but I did manage to dig up this little gem.
Prom. Huh. I didn’t go to one school dance until my junior year of HS. My Junior homecoming was my first school dance, ever, and I was the (dateless) photographer. My senior prom however…. I was crazy-stalker in L.O.V.E. with some guy from high school. I wanted him to ask me to prom *this* bad, and made that quite clear, but yeah, he thought I was a crazy stalker.
Bygones.
My BFF, whom we shall call Ditto, asked me to go in the very nonchalant way he did everything. I accepted, in the very nonchalant way I did (almost) everything.
I picked him up about 30 minutes before the gig started, and he was still in a t-shirt, playing video games. I had to help get his tie straight while his mother found his Doc’s. While I was wearing THAT monstrosity. That my boobies looked so good in, you don’t even know.
Anyway, he hadn’t eaten yet, so we hit the Burger King Drive-Thru and then off to prom we went.
Our prom was held in a (remarkable spacious) hallway of the Denver Museum of Nature and Science, giving us a lovely view all night of <—this.
My English teacher spent the evening from the balcony heckling all the girls who dared hoist there boobies up in the middle of the dance floor. I spent most of the night waiting for Mas Younon to ask me to dance, and Ditto more than likely spent most of the night waiting for me to stop waiting for Mas Younon. Whatever.
We did our thing, hit the stupid after-prom, and then I drove him home. I was admittedly nervous, so I also offered the German foreign exchange student and some girl I can’t remember the name of but I seem to associate with food stuck in braces a ride home. I dropped Ditto off first. No hanky panky, no making out, nothing.
That? I TOTALLY regret.
2 years later, a friend asked me to go with his little 10th grade brother to his prom, and that I totally did. And that? Was, like, the funniest night EVER. We danced the Time Warp. In kilts. I was WAY older and cooler than every girl there. And that little 10th grader was suddenly the coolest boy in school. And my dress was LEAGUES better. Just sayin.’
That, friends, is my very boring ass prom story. Please don’t make me ever tell it again. But now that I’ve shared mine, you HAVE to share yours. Let MommyTime know if you do.
Updated: You all need to read this. Goddamnit, I wish this had been MY prom story. Matt, you are officially the comment of the week.
I am a little late on this one, but my prom story is pretty good. My plan was to go to the prom with my girlfriend at the High School, five minutes at the after-party, then to some hotel rooms we’d reserved with a group of friends.
On the way to pick her up I stopped at a Quick Trip for a fountain soda. As I was paying, I saw a shady guy in a fishing hat and a Union Jack T-shirt eyeing my van (I had painted it black and red like the A-Team one) suspiciously. When I questioned him about it, he handed me five hundred dollars in American express Travelers Checks and told me to follow him to the alley behind the gas station, where he peeled back the corner of an old tarp that was covering the bed of his maroon El Camino. There were 4 or five Hefty bags in it. He said the money was mine if I drove them in my van to a trailer park in Missouri and dropped them in a dumpster that had the phrase “pemmican rules” written on it in green spray paint.
Being young and stupid, I took the money. There were no cell phones back then, so I hoped my date wouldn’t be too pissed…Missouri was about an hour away.
Sure enough, as I was crossing the Martin Luther King Bridge, a cop going the other way turned on his lights. I watched, horrified, in the rearview as he pulled a sharp U-turn. Damn! I jerked the van to the side, ran to the back, ripped open the bags and started dumping the contents over the guard rail. I couldn’t believe what was inside. Cat heads. Perfectly preserved. Hundreds of them. Some of them seemed to look at me angrily as they fell, growing smaller and smaller until they splashed into the Mississippi, making soft plopping noises. The cop pulled up behind me, his brakes squealing. To make matters worse, a local Channel 7 news team happened to be passing by and got the whole thing on film. I was all over the evening news on prom night as “The Cat Head Kid”. Needless to say, I spent the whole night in jail and missed my prom. My girlfriend left me and I was the laughing stock of the town for a while. I did manage to keep one of the heads though. It sits on a shelf in my bathroom next to my back scratcher and a bottle of Brut aftershave.
Pretty boring night, actually. Sorry for the long comment.
Comments close after 5 days. Because Spam sucks. 45 Comments to “It’s the Time of the Season…”
Ugh the memories, i went with my girlfriend’s boyfriend because she was grounded my freshman year….with my boyfriend the next two…then my senior prom my boyfriend had just broken up with me a week before prom but we still went, I cried the whole night it SUCKED.
Jen-The Mom’s last blog post..Snap Happy
[Mr Lady] Waterproof Mascara. Made from Prom night.
Ohh I’m debating whether or not to tell mine. It was the meanest thing I ever did to anyone, socially, and I still feel so bad about it. It’s not that bad as far as human society goes, just really mean for me.
BusyDad’s last blog post..If Jeopardy Were Written by Parents
[Mr Lady] BD, you are hanging with the girls who were NOT the prom queens over here. Weigh your words carefully, brother. Oh, and TELL US!
I want to hear what BusyDad did.
Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..The good news
[Mr Lady] Me too!!!!
My prom (leavers dinner here) is all tied in with my How I met Nathan story. And I will tell it one day, when I have the balls. It will be a series.
Veronica’s last blog post..I Need To Not Think
[Mr Lady] Get to it, woman!
I had a horrible looking dress and hair, and yet I managed to get naked after the prom. The after party was the best part.
witchypoo’s last blog post..That’s Odd
[Mr Lady] I didn’t manage to get naked for TWO YEARS after prom (not with the 10th graders. Ewww.) You are way cooler than me! (Or trampier, which counts here at Chez Mr Lady. :-) )
Busy Dad, are you sure you weren’t my prom date??
Musing’s last blog post..If I knew then
[Mr Lady] Dude, what happened to YOU? Now I’m all curious!
*sob* we don’t do Prom in Australia. Or cheerleaders.
Um, now I am kinda feeling happy about that.
I bet your breasticles looked freaking AWESOME in that dress.
Kelley’s last blog post..Watch.
[Mr Lady] No cheerleaders? Who does the football team knock up, then? PS: I am wearing Crocs RIGHT NOW!
I didn’t go to prom. I was dating an older guy and he was “beyond all that stupid high school shit”. I wish I could say he was worth missing prom over. But he wasn’t.
*sigh
AmyM’s last blog post..OMFG! I ALMOST STEPPED ON IT!
[Mr Lady] Oh, that SUCKS. I hated mine, but I’m still glad I went.
I’m freaking out because that first picture isn’t loading for me. Who the hell did you go to that prom with? Was it the guy I subsequently dated for four years? I thought he was dating Amanda at that time.
I was at that prom. You were at that prom. We were at that prom together. I remember so near to nothing about it. I mean, I remember the museum and secretly being pissed because I’ve always wanted to get married there, but now, I was having prom there, and how cheesy to get married where you had prom? I remember not having the most magical time ever and it was totally because I was kind of embarrassed that my date was too tall and goofy. In the end, that dude ran in the OLYMPICS in 2000 and 2004 and is totally a physiologist and track coach at a big 10 university now. And he’s looking great and is still the nicest effing man ever. Bygones.
molly_g’s last blog post..Atypical Nation: Soapy Water Version
[Mr Lady] It should show now. And yes, that would be your ex. Didn’t you know that??? And WHO THE FUCK WAS YOUR DATE DUDE?
I can’t see the picture either molly_g……….like some wiseass(man or was it woman) said….hindsight is 20 fucking20….or was it if I only knew then what I know now…………anyway….not that it matters. Peace, Mike.
[Mr Lady] ….but looking back, it’s STILL a bit fuzzy. :-)
We didn’t have prom at my HS. Sigh. I think there was like a “casino night” or something but no one went. I keep threatening to throw one now.
ms picket to you’s last blog post..Good Lordy, That Man’s 40!
[Mr Lady] I would TOTALLY come! Let’s throw one!
I didn’t go to my prom. :(
Maria’s last blog post..You’ll like this…
[Mr Lady] Maria, you are WAY too cool for prom.
Oooh, I never went either. Mostly I wasn’t asked, but the one time I WAS asked, I couldn’t go because the guy was black and I’m white and my mom would have killed me.
That’s so sad…
christy’s last blog post..Damning him with feint praise?
[Mr Lady] But…think of the gorgeous grandbabies! You mom is NUTS, yo!
You are so self-deprecating and funny. And I’m sorry I don’t get to see your “twins” all fabulous in that red dress, although the picture you have is excellent. Be sure to add a link to this lovely gem from my post next Tues. Also, and perhaps most importantly: why do we NEVER make out with the people we should in high school??!? How are we always so blind?
MommyTime’s last blog post..Ten (More) Random, Useful Things
[Mr Lady] I was too chicken. I don’t have that problem anymore. :-)
Loved your synopsis.
That said, I want to know what Jimmy did.
I went over to Mommytime and posted my Prom TT!
Secret Agent Mama’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
[Mr Lady] Oh, he’s gonna tell us. I will see to that. Mwahahahaha!
Aaack! I can’t see the picture either, and I’m so dying to see that dress. (Ok, so I just really want to look at your bodacious ta-tas…yikes, I’m channeling 80’s movies now, time to go.)
I’ll be posting on Tuesday, possibly with pictures, but I haven’t decided if I want to humiliate myself that badly yet…
Latte Mommy’s last blog post..Walt Disney Had it Right
[Mr Lady] You do. You KNOW you do.
I cannot see the picture.. sniffle.. Your boobs in a dress..weeee!!!!
My prom story is so boring..but I will post pictures because my hair was hard core. hahaha
Kim’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday - Double Dose
[Mr Lady] I bet your hair was totally 80’s rocker. I can’t wait to see it!
BusyDad BETTER tell now!
I have the pictures, but not the memories.
I don’t remember a dang thing about either prom except the guy I went with. And it’s not because I had THAT good of a time.
I can’t see your picture!
[Mr Lady] He’ll tell. And at least someone had the sense to snap a picture. I could KILL my father.
Disregard. Now I can.
Mr Lady, Molly_G, I totally have questions. I was under the iron thumb of religion and prom was sinful or something. Didn’t want to go anyway. So now I’m sitting here trying to figure out who was Ditto and who was this soon-to-be-oober-successful date of Molly’s? Help me out here.
[Mr Lady] Oh, Marge, you know! Mr Artsy-pants. Mr New Mascot that they didn’t use. Mr Set Crew Extraordinare. Molly’s old boyfriend. SC & Ditto, you know? I have no clue who Molly went with, but she’d better get with the telling us!
I have a lousy Senior Prom story because I went with a guy I was dating, my Junior Prom is another story.
Awesome story, though. Thanks for sharing.
Candy’s last blog post..Where Do I Go From Here?
[Mr Lady] Ooooo, what’s the ‘another story’? Sounds JUICY.
It seems that most people had more fun at other people’s proms than their own. And I want to hear BusyDad’s prom story, too.
April’s last blog post..Perspective
[Mr Lady] It ALSO sounds like everyone had a boyfriend/girlfriend. I was well out of high school before i had one of those. Am I lame, or all of you trampy?
Nothing even remotely fun or funny happened at prom. I have nothing. Not even a picture. It is fun to read everyones else’s stories, though. Imagine every story with a picture accompany it. Oh, what fun!
ohmommy’s last blog post..Mommy is having a heart attack…
[Mr Lady] It’s like wedding stories, but with angst!
Wow, love the Prom story :) Let’s see, for me.. Jr Prom - my crush had just broken up with his girlfriend yet insisted that he should still take her b/c after all , she’d bought a dress (WTF!?). He had a crappy time- I rest my case…
Sr Prom- Said crush is now fiance (how the heck do you put the little dinglemajooger on top of the e? Anyone??) and had detailed plans on how much fun we were going to have at my Sr Prom (he graduated the yr before).. I picked out my dress but hadnt bought it yet — looking back, this is where I went wrong. The idiot decides to up and join the military and LEAVE for BASIC TRAINING before my flippin prom..
Ok yes, I have a bit of an issue with proms.. and yes I hold a grudge.. I did marry the idiot anyway but I still bring up the Prom thing at least once every few years or so :)
[Mr Lady] And that you still bring it up makes you my hero.
i’m so not telling my prom stories. or revealing pictures. but i think we would all appreciate knowing exactly what you mean about the boobs and seeing if the dress matches the sunburn.
zoeyjane’s last blog post..Deadly Sins - Wrath
[Mr Lady] If only I had a picture. My boobs, man, yikes. Killa.
Ah…prom. Good times.
I had the date with the receding hairline and I was far too cool to stay beyond taking photos…after that, boozing it up in some redneck’s backyard with about 100 other too cool high school kids. At least I wore the dress!
Jen’s last blog post..Questions for blogging mommies?!?
[Mr Lady] The sentence cut at redneck when I read it, and I really was hoping the next word was TRUCK. That’s a story!
I totally have a picture of you in that red dress. I just can’t find it right now. Damn. Are you sure that particular dress isn’t from the homecoming with the beer bongs and the majestic view park? Good times.
molly_g’s last blog post..Atypical Nation: Soapy Water Version
[Mr Lady] Maj. View Park? Like, my favorite school experience ever. And if you ever show anyone that picture, we’re breaking up.
I can’t believe you posted that picture. Keep an eye on the donor over the next few days. Take special intrest if he buys any of these items in any quantity or combination: rope, duct tape, a shovel, a tarp, lyme, rock salt, new tennis shoes, gas cans and Slayer CD’s. OK, it’s official, I’ve been watching way too much “Forensic Files”.
NukeDad’s last blog post..Big Word Wednesday-Week 8
[Mr Lady] Glad to know you have my back. Slayer CD’s? *snort*
Oh - I am SO doing this…if for no other reason than it gives me an excuse to post a picture of myself when I was much cuter and skinnier (although I would have to figure out how to work my scanner first!)
Mindi’s last blog post..There’s such a thing as being TOO honest
[Mr Lady] That is why decent parents TAKE PICTURES. My dad sucks.
Great story. Sounds like a fairy tale (no, jk). Either way, proms are supposed to be annoying and definitely less than perfect.
I too, went to a younger guys prom and as an elder college gal (yes, a freshman in college) I had the best time. I rawked their party and my date loved it. I think that is the way to go; maybe when I’m bored one night I should go crash a prom.
Melinda’s last blog post..Better sleeping, better waking
I didn’t go junior year because my boyfriend, who had declined to dance at Homecoming and who didn’t want to see a repeat of me crying because of it, had made sure to be scheduled to work… at the Dairy Queen. We did go to the after prom, which wasn’t improved any by my mother’s insistence on driving us.
Senior year, I was single and poor and even more of a misfit, so I hosted an Avoid Prom dinner party for my single/poor/misfit friends. I printed pixelated invitations and everything. We ate Chinese take-out on the good china and stayed up late watching Monty Python.
I couldn’t possibly tell my prom story on my blog. My mom reads it. Suffice to say I was the prom queen due to a timely stuffing of the ballots by my best friends, and my college boyfriend… well, I’ll stop there.
Deb (Missives From Suburbia)’s last blog post..I Don’t Mean To Be Crass
I forgot 2 things: a chest freezer and a wood chipper. Be on the look out.
NukeDad’s last blog post..Big Word Wednesday-Week 8
I’m not here to comment on your prom stories. I couldn’t help but notice White Snake in your tunes over there on the side bar. Are you effing kidding? WHITE SNAKE?
Dude, it so brings me back.
Velvet Verbosity’s last blog post..Contents Under Pressure
I never went to a single dance, ever. Isn’t that sad? God, I was fucking MISERABLE in high school.
I never went to a prom. I’m still traumatized. I think Molly’s going to make it up to me though ;)
well alrighty then.
Audubon Ron’s last blog post..Angel Part 2
Never went to prom. Closest thing I got to prom was Homecoming, which consisted of a night of touchless dancing and Christian music at the private churchy high school I attended for two horrid years. I went back to independent study and college courses after that. No wonder.
By the way; reading your comment section is ALMOST as good as reading your posts, Mr Lady [note the word almost]. You have a pretty hilarious readership. Is that even a word? Or did I just make that up?
flickrlovr’s last blog post..Girl Gone Vegan
I am a little late on this one, but my prom story is pretty good. My plan was to go to the prom with my girlfriend at the High School, five minutes at the after-party, then to some hotel rooms we’d reserved with a group of friends.
On the way to pick her up I stopped at a Quick Trip for a fountain soda. As I was paying, I saw a shady guy in a fishing hat and a Union Jack T-shirt eyeing my van (I had painted it black and red like the A-Team one) suspiciously. When I questioned him about it, he handed me five hundred dollars in American express Travelers Checks and told me to follow him to the alley behind the gas station, where he peeled back the corner of an old tarp that was covering the bed of his maroon El Camino. There were 4 or five Hefty bags in it. He said the money was mine if I drove them in my van to a trailer park in Missouri and dropped them in a dumpster that had the phrase “pemmican rules” written on it in green spray paint.
Being young and stupid, I took the money. There were no cell phones back then, so I hoped my date wouldn’t be too pissed…Missouri was about an hour away.
Sure enough, as I was crossing the Martin Luther King Bridge, a cop going the other way turned on his lights. I watched, horrified, in the rearview as he pulled a sharp U-turn. Damn! I jerked the van to the side, ran to the back, ripped open the bags and started dumping the contents over the guard rail. I couldn’t believe what was inside. Cat heads. Perfectly preserved. Hundreds of them. Some of them seemed to look at me angrily as they fell, growing smaller and smaller until they splashed into the Mississippi, making soft plopping noises. The cop pulled up behind me, his brakes squealing. To make matters worse, a local Channel 7 news team happened to be passing by and got the whole thing on film. I was all over the evening news on prom night as “The Cat Head Kid”. Needless to say, I spent the whole night in jail and missed my prom. My girlfriend left me and I was the laughing stock of the town for a while. I did manage to keep one of the heads though. It sits on a shelf in my bathroom next to my back scratcher and a bottle of Brut aftershave.
Pretty boring night, actually. Sorry for the long comment.
matt’s last blog post..Only A Few Days Left?..RedSparks Giveaway!
LMAO. You have great commenters!! I also want to hear BD’s tale. He cant be THAT perfect, I need proof.
My prom stories suck. One makes me mad and the other is just disappointing. Sorry. I suck.
Miss’s last blog post..Almost 3 years later?
Cat heads?!?! Awful. Being on the late night news as a crazy driver of said activities? Priceless.
Mrs. Kitty’s last blog post..My mission
Your dress looks way better than mine did…and I hate you for it!
Aimee’s last blog post..Prom Stories
Thanks for sharing the prom memories. You inspired me to share mine too.
Karen’s last blog post..Carrie or Pretty in Pink?
OMG, Matt’s comment, I’m sure would be a finalist for post of the YEAR - cat heads OMGOMGOMG!!
Mr. lady, thanks for sharing your prom stories. At least you remember some fine details, mine have severely blurred due to loss of brain cells. Maybe it was the bad Asian perm.
Karen MEG (pomtini)’s last blog post..No Baby Story - Part Deux
Ok, just to be clear…is that YOU holding up the snazzy prom gown? I didn’t realize you had a goatee… *grin*
MultiplesMommy’s last blog post..The Good, the Bad, and the Prom-y