Jun 12 2008

T Minus 5 and Counting

Direct complaints to Mr Lady in regards to Uncategorized, blogiversary

In 5 short posts, including this one, I will hit one thousand. Posts. No wonder my back hurts all the time. Now, I’d love to say, “Hey, this blog always kicked ass and you should read it all!” but really, I tried to read my archives once, and I’ve never had such a fulfilling nap in my whole life. Seriously, ZZZZZZzzzzzzz.

But I didn’t suck all the time. There are gems. So guess what I’m doing for my last 5 posts of this thousand? I’m actually reading my pathetic archives and pulling the good ones out for you. Because I’m bored I hate laundry I want a divorce I care about you and want to make your life easier. Each day I’m going to sift through 200 posts and pick out my favorites. And now, without further ado, the highlights of posts 0-200.

Yes, these are the WHOLE posts. I didn’t get all chatty until, like, year three.

M is for Mommy

My 4 year old is having trouble identifying lower case letters, so we have been drilling at home. We got down to the letter m. After 2 days of “What does moon start with?” or “what does mouse start with?”, he finally got it. He can recognize M. Here’s how it played out….

“2of3, what does mouse start with?”

“M! Mom, what does angry mob start with?”

If I could be a llama rider…I’d get spit on. A lot. (This one’s a little long for the ol’ cut & paste. That’s the gist, though.)

Just Checking

Do you know where your towel is?

Really, go check. You need to know.

Dear Mr Michael Jackson

You can now go back on everyone’s overnight babysitter list.

No hard feelings, but I’ve taken you off mine.

No one doubts that you are probably the best, most musically gifted gifted person alive today, but let me lend you some advice. Remember J.D. Salinger, Bobby Fischer, and Hunter S. Thompson? They, like you, are unsurpassed in their fields. They are gods among us. And they did us all the small favour of removing themselves quietly and without much ado from our society, knowing they just couldn’t fit in anymore. They spared us their crazy antics, and left us to remember only their sheer brilliance.

Please follow their example and do the same.

Competitive much?

My 1of3, so wise, after only 7 years…

“1st place is the hardest to win. Every other place is the easiest; you just have to fail.”

Some Things Money Just Can’t Buy

bottle of Robitussin…$7.99
roll of duct tape…$1.99
really loud Megadeath CD…$2.99 (used)

Never having to hear “Are we there yet”…Priceless.

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Comments close after 5 days. Spam sucks. 37 Comments to “T Minus 5 and Counting”

  1. Loraleeon 12 Jun 2008 at

    My archives cause retina rupture and bleeding. Really, they do. I have a warning label stuck on them and everything!

    Loralee’s last blog post..Whatev?

  2. matton 12 Jun 2008 at

    $5.99 for a genuine Mr. Lady T-zone puzzle? Shooooot. I would have paid at least 20. Like the Megadeth reference too.
    Funny stuff. And congrats on hitting the 1000 mark. Soon.

    matt’s last blog post..Frankie’s Camping Trip

  3. MommyTimeon 13 Jun 2008 at

    So here’s the thing: apparently you’ve always been hilarious. Good to know. Not that I doubted, mind you, but it’s always good to have confirmation.

    MommyTime’s last blog post..A Path Worth Taking

  4. amyon 13 Jun 2008 at

    1000?? WOW! You’re even better at avoiding laundry than I am! Can’t wait to read the past gems you’ve picked for us.

    amy’s last blog post..Take your toob and shove it

  5. aschoolyardbloggeron 13 Jun 2008 at

    Oh man. I remembered twice in one week why I decided to love you!
    Gigi

  6. ohmommyon 13 Jun 2008 at

    Yay on your upcoming 1000! I can not even imagine where I will be in 800 posts from today. Looking forward to reading more from your archives… isn’t it neat looking back?

    ohmommy’s last blog post..My son. He broke a commandment.

  7. zoeyjaneon 13 Jun 2008 at

    my archives cause to to question whatever world makes people want to read anything i’ve ever written. i mean? what made me think that sh*t should go on the internet? oh, wait, i still do that…nevermind.

    zoeyjane’s last blog post..This is the post I write that makes you really uncomfortable.

  8. Veronicaon 13 Jun 2008 at

    1000 posts? Seriously? Thats tons!

    I think I am at about 360 at the moment. But I have only been blogging since August.

    Veronica’s last blog post..Amy-isms and Pregnancy Update

  9. Shannonon 13 Jun 2008 at

    This is fun! Because I almost never go back into people’s archives when I start reading them. The last half dozen posts or so have to grab me for them to be entered into my reader. Unfortunately, if people used to same standard to judge me…well…I guess I know why I’m not widely read! :)

    Shannon’s last blog post..every day is that time of the month

  10. Kimon 13 Jun 2008 at

    1000 posts. Holy crap. that is amazing.

    My blog still bores me to death.. I am still waiting on my personality to show up.

    Kim’s last blog post..Lessoned Learned

  11. Sandy (Momisodes)on 13 Jun 2008 at

    1000!? You’re a marathon blogger! And a brave one too.
    Looking back on my archives is like hearing back my recorded voice. Gives me the willies and I tend to just hit “delete.”
    LOVE that competitive quote ;)

    Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..What to do with myself…

  12. conversemommaon 13 Jun 2008 at

    Not that you asked, but my favorite was the open letter to your minions (sp?) That is the one that hooked me.

    conversemomma’s last blog post..Things Both Lost And Found

  13. Tara R.on 13 Jun 2008 at

    Congrats on the bloggy milestone. I enjoyed the stroll down memory lane.

    Tara R.’s last blog post..Random Wednesday - judgement day

  14. Audubon Ronon 13 Jun 2008 at

    No what? You’re my baby! Srsly.

  15. the planet of janeton 13 Jun 2008 at

    cool. i can catch up without the time suck of reading your archives …

    the planet of janet’s last blog post..The only thing you can do is just the best you know how …

  16. daysgobyon 13 Jun 2008 at

    Happy Anniversary! Not sure what the gift for 1000 posts is…

    Love the llama spit. And the used Megadeath CD.

    daysgoby’s last blog post..growing up isn’t easy for parents to watch

  17. flickrlovron 13 Jun 2008 at

    Can we get a what-what for Mr. Lady?!? Holla! Okay, enough with the white gangstah. Sorry. But really; conGRATS on the almost-a-thousand-posts! That’s impressive. 4 years to get there, right?

    And ditto to Mommytime’s comment: you’ve apparently ALWAYS been hilarious. I wish I had your talent. My poor blog is still pretty borrrring and un-cool, but I’m a workin’ on it.

    You’re an inspiration :)

    flickrlovr’s last blog post..This Is Not My Day (A.K.A. gr$a#gl!(@kssj2JS!(#@!)

  18. Ricardoon 13 Jun 2008 at

    Wow this is like the very best of Whisky in My Sippy Cup. Good idea! I can’t imagine doing 1000 posts. I don’t go back and read mine because they are simply to painful and bad.

    Ricardo’s last blog post..When No One Cared

  19. Momo Falion 13 Jun 2008 at

    Perfect! We’re taking a road trip this weekend…thanks for the tips.

    Momo Fali’s last blog post..That Song Is About Me

  20. Katon 13 Jun 2008 at

    Wow, that is awesome…when you get really big and famous, will you remember us little people? You’re my favorite, hands down!!!

    Kat’s last blog post..First Week 2008 - Never as great as 2008

  21. Mike Marshallon 13 Jun 2008 at

    As we say here…(as close to the Mexican/American border as you can possibly get without………….hehe)……..well I guess “WE” don’t say that here……..it’s a long story. I was curious. Is there a post somewhere that explains how/why you are called Mr. Lady? Peace, Mike.

  22. Kimmelinon 13 Jun 2008 at

    Nice job, congrats, and WAY TO GO!!! You are a trend setter, and a boat-rocker! Thanks for the reminder of what kind of significance a blog can take on!

    Kimmelin’s last blog post..Crush…Continued

  23. tenakimon 13 Jun 2008 at

    YEp, you have always been funny! I’m not buying that your archives are boring for a second!

    tenakim’s last blog post..Etiquette lesson

  24. Korion 13 Jun 2008 at

    I guess I haven’t been bloggong nearly enough, because I still LIKE a lot of my old stuff and wish more people would go back and read it. Really. Loved the Michael Jackson post!

    Kori’s last blog post..Let the Negotiations Begin

  25. Jillon 13 Jun 2008 at

    Oh I can’t wait to go back through and read!

    Jill’s last blog post..It ALWAYS Happens In 3’s…

  26. OhCaptainon 13 Jun 2008 at

    Congrats on the approach of your 1000th post. A truly amazing accomplishment and a credit to your free time :-)

    My Google Reader Unread count is approaching that number! Let’s see who gets there first!

    OhCaptain’s last blog post..Thank you

  27. Margeon 13 Jun 2008 at

    You darling, are without-a-doubt one very Hoopy Frood.

    You might find this amusing. My sister is visiting. One of the gifts she brought Bart is a little pocket-sized towel with a picture of the earth on it. It could only have been cooler if it had said MOSTLY HARMLESS in Comic Sans 35pt Bold across it.

  28. Shamelessly Sassyon 13 Jun 2008 at

    1000 is so many. And I love Michael Jackson’s music. love it.

    Shamelessly Sassy’s last blog post..Fannypack Phobia

  29. Robinaon 13 Jun 2008 at

    Cool! That was fun. I love the quote of the day about winning and failing. I wish I could see through a childs eyes again!

    Looking forward to more, and wow! 1000 posts!!!!! GREAT!

    Robina’s last blog post..Music makes the world go round!

  30. Mrs. Kittyon 13 Jun 2008 at

    Holy moly 1000! Good for you girl. I just started not that long ago and 1000 seems so long in my future.

    Mrs. Kitty’s last blog post..Rat Pack Findings

  31. MidLifeMamaon 13 Jun 2008 at

    I like to read the archives of blogs I have just become aquainted with, but does an entry that resurrects an entry you already made REALLY count as one of the 1000? What do I know. I am an infant in the blogosphere. A rank amatuer at best. I enjoy anything you write.

    MidLifeMama’s last blog post..It is just me and the schnauzers today.

  32. T Minus 4 and Countingon 13 Jun 2008 at

    [...] Continued from here, my favorite posts #201-400: [...]

  33. Mrs.4444on 15 Jun 2008 at

    “1st place is the hardest to win. Every other place is the easiest; you just have to fail.” Who knew that 7-year-olds could be so danged profound?! That’s awesome; I love it.

    Congratulations on your 1000th post! Are you THAT old?? JK

    Mrs.4444’s last blog post..A Sweet Memory

  34. You did this post for me, right? Because you owed me a list of your best blog entries? Does that mean I have to do this in return? Because this looks like a LOT of work.

    Great idea. I may steal it for #300.

    Deb (Missives From Suburbia)’s last blog post..Peonies

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