Jun 26 2008
The Flip Side of the Coin (or why I may NOT homeschool)
(I wanted to wait until I had responded to all of your comments before I continued, but you all left such good, thought provoking comments that it’s taking me a while to get to them all. I will, pinky swear.)
Today was the last day of school for my boys. I sat in the pick up lane, waiting for them to come out of the school, and I watched. I looked through the sea of smiling faces and found the top of a pair of crutches. There’s my boys.
They lingered before they came down to the car. High fives were exchanged. Email numbers were scribbled on scraps of construction paper. Goodbyes were said, and summer began.
My oldest limped his way into the front seat, and the smile left his face. “Mom, I cannot wait for September.”
Huh?
I remember that same feeling. I loved school. I was an academic. My oldest is, too, and the thought of taking that away from him pains me. My youngest, Mr Punching Bag, got into the car and I asked how his last day was. I got the same response I’ve gotten all year, “Oh, you know, it was kinda boring, but now I feel like a 3rd grader, so that’s cool.”
Not thank god that shit is over, not why’d you make me go back there woman, just meh.
We came home and I sorted through their papers. 1of3 finally made honor roll. 2of3’s report card had glowing remarks of ‘progress’ and ‘above grade level’ and ‘what a joy’. And then I got to thinking about the good stuff that happened this year.
1of3 joined choir, track, cross country and leadership council. The award for citizenship he received yesterday at the awards ceremony held seven different stickers for excellence in citizenship, and with glowing, beaming pride, his teacher informed me that he had more than any other 4th grader. By a lot. He volunteered in class to help the new student who didn’t speak much English follow along. He was a lunchtime monitor and reading buddy to a kindergarten classroom, and said goodbye to “his kids” with tears in his eyes.
2of3 had a harder time. He made friends slowly, and isn’t the world’s best Attention Payer, so he had a bit more acclimation to do in class. His teacher noticed that he was constantly folding his papers rather than doing the work assigned on them, and asked if he’s ever tried origami. She went out and, out of her own pocket, purchased him a small origami kit. She then designated every Friday noon to be 2of3’s time to teach the classroom some origami. She found his strength and interest, encouraged it and scheduled it. Once a month, she sent him home with a little note thanking him for making her laugh, or teaching her how to make paper frogs, or for drawing her a great picture. My son was completely validated all year long by someone outside of my home, someone in no way responsible for doing so. He LOVES that woman.
Both of my sons speak a little French now. Both of them can explain to me what the hell a kilometer is (not that I can remember it, mind you). Both of them now worship Terry Fox. Because of school, they’ve learned how to ride a city bus, learned how to handle themselves in a corner store on their way home to buy a treat, have planted trees, volunteered and donated to charity, and made friends that don’t live right by us, people they wouldn’t have met otherwise.
Would all those things happen if I homeschooled them? Most likely, yes. But at school, they feel like they are part of something bigger than themselves. They aren’t just listening to me rattling off more crap to them; they have teachers that they look up to and respect and want to work hard to please. They have a social network well beyond what I have, one that is diverse and colorful.
At school, they have themselves. They get to be who they are, not who they think I want them to be.
I don’t want to take that from them. I don’t want 2of3 to miss out on another teacher discovering how totally fucking awesome he is. I don’t want 1of3 to miss out on next years’ kindergarten class. And dear god in heaven, don’t want them to miss out on grade 7, because the grade 7 teacher who didn’t make eye contact with one other parent yesterday at the awards ceremony but waved me down half-way through it, the one who patted my shoulder in the hall and said, “See you next Christmas; you know you’re helping out in my classroom again,” well, he’s so freaking unbelievably hot it makes me stutter. Like, so hot it makes stuff tingle. And if we can just get through 4 more years, I will have had 2 school years to “help out in the classroom.”
Which would be totally awesome.
Comments close after 5 days. Because Spam sucks. 36 Comments to “The Flip Side of the Coin (or why I may NOT homeschool)”
I was all teary eyed at how sweet it was that 2of3’s teacher did that and then you said something about a hot teacher.
Now I want to see a picture.
Natalie’s last blog post..Setting the Course
I think that between yesterday’s post and today’s, you raised a lot of really valid reasons for either homeschooling or NOT homeschooling; for me-and I know how incredibly lucky and blessed we have been so far-I support our public school system enough that I am willing to overlook or deal with head on the problems engendered by trying to deal with s shitload of students and no budget, because at this point, the benefits totally outweigh the bad. I did have one terrible incident with a terrible, horrible teacher who 1. thought I was a lesser human being because I have tits and actually told me that he would prefer talking to my husband, and when I said I didn’t have one he said, “oh. One of THOSE.” 2. Treated my Eli like a felon (and he WAS getting in trouble, absolutely, which was why I was AT the school so much! Asshole.) and 3. completely gave up on him as a student and as an individual, before he was even in third grade. I did go to the principal, and when I got the “boys will be boys” pat on the head, I went to the Superintendent, and lo and behold, things changed. Eli got smacked straight into the gifted program, midway through the year, he had two teachers who stood up with me and said “This kid is special!” and then in third grade he got to have one of those teachers as his teacher. So in the long run, it was well worth it, and still is. Despite the problems that are pandemic in EVERY public school system, in many many ways I think it is still the better route.
Kori’s last blog post..The Evil TV
I think you need a chat with Mrs. Edna Ann Garrett
You take the good, you take the bad…..
PG’s last blog post..W8 Loss Wednesday/Twit2Fit 06.26.2008
I hated school. H.A.T.E.D it. But looking back, I realize that’s not true. Those were the best days of my life, and I wouldn’t trade that time I had for anything. I learned Calculus, yea, but I also learned how to be a person, to be an individual. And although I don’t remember the Calculus, I still know how to be a person. And a pretty good one, at that. Albeit a tad immature and inappropriate. Eh. Nobody’s perfect. (I learned that in school, too)
K8spade’s last blog post..You Might Be a Redneck…
Real life sucks sometimes making real life decisions. If only we knew how lucky we were when OUR moms made all of our decisions for us. You’ll do what you know is best for your kiddies.
A Whole Lot of Nothing’s last blog post..T13: Enter if You Dare
I’m not going to hijack your blog by going on and on about why I think you should send your kids back to school next year. Ultimately, you will do what you think is best for them, and that will be the right thing to do. Because ultimately what I, or anyone else, think doesn’t matter.
I am heartened by your post today, though, because I think that it gets at the gist of how I feel about sending your kids outside of the home to be educated. Without me having to say a word. (Which is always good.)
Have you asked the boys what they think about homeschooling?
Latte Mommy’s last blog post..Ding-dong Went the Doorbell
Well, for me, I think the benefits of school outweigh the drawbacks — but I think it’s great that you are willing to look at both sides of the question, the positives and negatives of each option, and really think about them. I can’t tell you what is best for your family, or your kids, but I will say that I think there are some adversities that we become stronger for facing, while others simply break us down. And perhaps one good way to make your choice would be to consider whether the struggles inherent in each choice would be the kind to lead to a soul-numbing result or to lead (even if unpleasant in the moment) to greater strengths.
Good luck, and I can’t wait to hear more about how you’re making this decision.
MommyTime’s last blog post..The Rhythm of Days
You are so unbelievably lucky to have had 2of3’s teacher this year. Bullies be damned, that woman was extraordinary. If any of The Kid’s teachers ever made an effort to be so kind I think I would have a seizure. In a good way.
molly_g’s last blog post..Changing the Byline
here! here! great post!
The Super Bongo’s last blog post..How to stay out of jail
The best thing to do is the best thing to do, for your whole family. You will know what that is, whether it is school or home school.
You have remarkable children. Apples and trees, yo!
Love, love.
Secret Agent Mama’s last blog post..The Movie of my Youth
There’s no right or wrong, only what your gut says is the best path for you. Even with the bad stories I left yesterday about our experiences, my daughters have had some really great teachers. Go with your gut girl!
And thanks so much commenter #3 PG I know cannot think of anything else but the theme song to “The Fact’s of Life” (the facts of life!) :)
celticbuffy’s last blog post..Thank You, Thank You!
A hot teacher, you say? Damn, i’m moving to Canada! Actually, wait, are the peadiatrician’s good looking too? Cos that’s important, you know :P
tiff’s last blog post..Courage through sharing - thanking him. Yes. Him.
AR wuz here, and then got lost.
Audubon Ron’s last blog post..Angel Part 3
Remember me? CLF and a chief officer of the Keeper of the Cheese.
I am so happy to hear of your experience with 2of3’s teacher. She is an inspiration for me since I am working toward my teacher’s certificate in my spare time right now. That is the mark of a great teacher!
A kilometre is 1000 metres and a metre is 100 centimetres. (whereas I think a yard is about 90cm or something).
Hehe.
Veronica’s last blog post..Women and Vibrators
Torn between and “end of school year” comment and a “to home school or not to home school” comment………I choose home school (with end of year, next). Throwing a question back, first. Why can’t we view education as both? Don’t you teach at home, everyday.? Some do it soup to nuts, others outsource a bit. And what if we collaborated more on what each is good at. I stink at sewing, and am really good at teaching kids how to organize. I stink at crafts, and am really good at a spontaneous, educational excursion. Good at sports and horrible at spelling. I home schooled my oldest for her 3rd grade (she is the oldest of 7). Could never do all of it for all 7 at once, all the time. I love the mix of formal school and my “home” school. And I would love it if the system would be more accepting of a combination.
Maureen’s last blog post..Sports, Sports, and More Sports
Wow! Don’t you feel the world is worthwhile when you get a teacher like that! God bless her!
I don’t mean to go all ’80’s on you, but I sometimes romanticize school as a “Brick in the Wall” experience. (Hear me out…..)
Shapes a child. And if you as the parent can let the kid recognize, talk about the BAD parts, the good parts are myriad. I love giving my kid a broad perspective on society, as broad as possible. Everything is a potential demographic/sociological study–you could say that’s MY home schooling curriculum, in a way.
As long as the school isn’t patently dangerous, or the kid isn’t mercilessly bullied, I’d never take my kid out. Teaches them how to deal with difficult bosses in the future, how to deal with mob mentality.
I love talking with my kids about the good and bad of school–I’ve intervened on occasion, but not much.
Plus I can drink more during the day with them gone…
christy’s last blog post..The Truman Show, Redux
The kiddos are just now getting out of school. Hard to believe.
Diane’s last blog post..Airport security…turning into a nightmare
I am very lucky that my kids go to private/ semi-homeschool. They go to school two days a week, homeschool two days a week and have electives at school on the fifth day. That being said, if I had to choose between the two, I’d pick homeschool and lots of outside activities. I say this because my kids enjoy homeschool and it’s nice to speed through stuff we know and really focus on what we need to work on, something you can’t do in a normal school environment.
I’d talk to your kids and discuss the pros and cons. Are there lots of homeschool clubs/activities around you?
This is such a tough decision–I know you’ll make the right one for your family :)
Lisa@verybusymomwith4’s last blog post..I read the ENTIRE bible :)
Congratulations, Mr Lady….you just made the right choice. Am I cocky and assumptive for saying that? Probably. Don’t care. You’re doing a fantastic job with your kids and I am certain they will thrive and excel. Certain…even after the short time I have known you. You should take a step back and just feel proud for how you have raised them for a bit. You deserve it. I mean that…I really do :)
Matt’s last blog post..Teaching Your Child Corporate Politics
School will always be school. What you learn there varies. Learning the alphabet, how to read, how to add and subtract and a little history are all things that you will use the rest of your life; most of the rest is window dressing. The true “Education” that a kid gets from school is how to deal with other people, how to fight their way out of a scrap, how to take a compliment, how to judge another’s character, how to meet a deadline, how to deal with disappointment, how to commit to something; those are all lessons that no one should be without. Don’t get me wrong; the first part of this sounds like I’m saying that course work isn’t important; I’m not, I’m just saying that the social education is every bit as important, if not more important, than the readin’, ritin’ & rithmatic’.
NukeDad’s last blog post..Big Word Wednesday-Week 11
wow, 2of3’s teacher is WONDERFUL! do you have smaller class sizes over there? Cos with 30-40 in a class here, 60 - 80 in a year that kind of thing is unlikely to happen in our school :(
I’m so jealous of the story about 2of3’s teacher. That’s really awesome. We must clone her.
Jennifer’s last blog post..Shall Not Be Infringed
Wait, there’s a hot teacher in the mix next year? Why didn’t you say so yesterday? That totally changes my tune.
2of3’s teacher sounds awesome. I wish more teachers had the time to be able to care a little more like that.
Andrea’s last blog post..Casanova
Your description of “2of3’s” teacher brought tears to my eyes. Now THAT is a special teacher…seriously….I think our “2 of 3s” sound very similar…they’d probably make good friends. It must be a 2nd child thing.
Tammy’s last blog post..Fitness Friday
A good mom sees all sides of a story.. way to go good mom. :)
Kim’s last blog post..Not In My House
That is so awesome that she got the origami book for him, what a thoughful and special teacher. I’m glad you made a decision that you feel good about, like I said, you are the one that knows best, you’re the mom.
Allie Bear’s last blog post..Can I have your assistance, please?
A hot teacher who makes your stuff tingle??!!
You’ve said enough.
I’m officially voting AGAINST homeschooling.
And…I want pictures. Heh.
LunaNik’s last blog post..Lakshmi
The Boss and I are homeschooling our kid… but this did bring back memories of my own… and I’m kinda sad Baby L won’t get to experience the excitement of going to school.
Dad Speed’s last blog post..Ask Dr Dad
I think you hit on some key points - there is value in both public/private schools and home schooling. For me, I tend to agree with what you said about not wanting to take them out of a social learning environment. Mostly though, I could never homeschool because I don’t have the patience that most great teachers need to instruct kids and make learning fun. Hope the kids have a great summer (you too)!
Jeremy (Discovering Dad)’s last blog post..Welcome to Discovering Dad
The origami part made me tear up, too. It’s something as “little” as that that can really turn a student around. I’m glad your child able to experience that.
Who new origami could make me want to cry? Jeez…
Maria’s last blog post..200 lbs, yes.
To me, friends are more important than anything for a child. You can always re-learn a skill. You can’t re-make a childhood friend. Not to say that they wouldn’t make friends being homeschooled, but I think it’s simply easier to do so in a school environment. That’s the only thing that would make me choose conventional over home school. Ok, a hot teacher would too (a gal one, not a guy one, I mean)…
BusyDad’s last blog post..You Want the Food? You Can’t Handle the Food!
Awesome post. 2of3’s teacher was sooo cool. That’s awesome. I say, if your pro/con list seems to line up more with public school…then you should sooo go with it. Good luck with your decision making!
Ashley’s last blog post..This may be the death of me?
What a lovely and thoughtful post.
Nola’s last blog post..A Cool Saturday Morning
Boo’s 1st teacher was white hot. So I hear ya on that sista.
You know what I love most about you? You are an awesome mum. Seriously.
Kelley’s last blog post..Of twits and twats Tuesday