(And I couldn’t be happier about that)

THE TOP 5 THINGS 1 AND 2 OF3 MISS ABOUT MOM
5. How much fun we had with her.
4. How much good and yummy and healthy things she fed to us (2of3 only).
3. How much activities she gave us like baseball and filling up the baby pool (the donor has no patience for the latter).
2. How much t.v. she let us watch (although 1of3 begs to differ on this one).
1. How much happiness she gave us (2of3) The way she makes me feel happy inside (1of3).
Oh, also how much she read to us (1of3 severely debates this one. Apparently you only read to 2of3).
Now it gets interesting. 1of3 isn’t happy because he thinks 2of3 “stole all of his good ones”.  Just for the record, the donor is here and mediating this gathering and 1of3 had plenty of time to say these things but he couldn’t get it out in time.  He just agreed with what 2of3 said (with the above noted exceptions).

I feel I should contribute something to this.  I know this is like having to follow Metallica on Headbanger’s Ball but ….
I miss most the warmth that mom brings to the house.  She makes it a home while I think I make it a little bit cleaner and more orderly.

If any of you have ever met Mr. Lady, you know that there is something about her that keeps you coming back for more.  She may not shave all the way down to her ankles, turns red at the drop of a hat and smokes a lot, but she has a certain type of charisma that makes everyone around her feel better.  I don’t mean to say she is without fault, because I could go on for hours.  I won’t, though, because she has way more dirt on me than I have on her.

I will, however, share a story of how she almost didn’t go to blogher.  Money was tight (as it always is in our house) right around the time we needed to purchase a ticket for Mr. Lady so she could get her butt (nice butt too, not a “mushroom top” – that is a total blogzagerration) to San Francisco.  It literally came right down to the wire.  The day before she was going to leave, we were going to have to live very lean for about 2 and 1/2 days but it was going to be fine.  Mr. Lady totally had a meltdown.  She decided that it was too much of a financial burden on all of us for her to go.  Bullshit.  I spent the majority of that day on the phone with her telling her to basically shut up and pack.  This was going to happen.  I will never be as good at anything as she is with this.  And this is her opportunity!  She was chosen to speak.  This wasn’t something that was pulled out of a hat (was it?). She was chosen because she is the shit.  She makes us fucking pee our pants in the best way possible.  To make a long and drawn out story a bit shorter, after many tears on her part and the better part of the nails on her left hand, strings were pulled, favors called in and a ticket from Seattle to San Francisco was purchased for Mr. Lady.  She is now in San Francisco getting standing ovations from what I hear.  And good for her.  She deserves that sort of recognition.  All moms do (well, maybe not all – you know who I’m talking about).  Like I said, she makes this house a home.  The kids have a hard time putting that feeling into words but they know it too.

The story was so much better in my head and as I read it now, I really suck at this.  That’s o.k. because I will probably never do it again.  She might loose all of her readers if I go on any longer.  I gotta go now anyways and put the kids to bed.  Someone has to try to fill those shoes while she is away.