Aug 04 2008
Welcome Back, Kotter
My husband arrived home after a week out of town for work tonight. He was greeted by his three children in their individual, typical fashions:
- 3of3 ran up to him, said, “Dadda?” and then whined and clawed at me for the rest of the night. Because she likes to make him work for it, that’s why. (She’s going to make some lucky man exceptionally miserable someday.) At one point, I am pretty sure she attempted to actually return herself to her original packaging, but, um, hell no? Exit only, sister.
- 2of3 came whizzing around the corner from the backyard to see his dad. “Hi Dad! What’cha get me?” He was marched back around that corner and told to try again.
- 1of3 sauntered on over when he was damn good and ready, sorta kinda gave his father something vaguely resembling a hug, they high-fived, and then they spent the rest of the night on the couch snuggled up to each other, watching TV shows I wouldn’t let this kid watch if tv was being executed tomorrow.
That’s not all dad came home to, though. I managed to get the sheets washed and the laundry done, but while he was gone:
- The DVD player in our room broke, reasons unknown
- The towel bar thing in the washroom just, well, fell off
- The back sliding glass door doesn’t so much slide anymore as it scrapes and shrieks its way to 3/4 of the way closed, then just gives up
- The boys’ screen for their window took a four story fall to the ground after a rather spirited pillow fight while I was sleeping, and has since been propped up against their bookshelves, awaiting dad’s return
- I bought Asparagus and Cheese raviolis for dinner by mistake. We had pigs in a blanket instead, because NO
- The 6 gallons of ice cream I bought melted, separated, and then re-froze. Yeah, gross
- My car smells like vomit with really stinky feet
But at least everyone is alive, however barely, and the floors are mopped.
Comments close after 5 days. Because Spam sucks. 47 Comments to “Welcome Back, Kotter”
Dude, you mopped the floors? Extra points for you.
I am a shocking housewife. Everything goes to hell, except what we eat. (case in point, I did nothing but bake bread today. House is a tip, but there is fresh bread.)
Veronicas last blog post..And then.
I think it’s nice of you to fill the house with bits of job security so he still feels needed.
Oh look- nothing’s changed since the Donor left. …Except maybe, you’re a little more tired from wrangling 3 kids this weekend!
You get a gold star!
Reasons unknown, my ass- three words- too. much. porn.
tenakims last blog post..Deja vu?
Good for you! Laundry and clean floors.
Stuff breaks. You know, like air-conditioners during record heat waves.
Jennifers last blog post..*Insert Expletive Here
Hehe. I admire your final line.
Maries last blog post..Glimmers and Glue
Laundry done is enough in my book! Sheets too? You’re being a kiss-ass!
RobMonroes last blog post..Thankfulness in July
I rarely mop the floor for anything. I wipe up whatever is spilled, but I’ve never been one to regularly mop.
We have the same problem. Something breaks almost every time that Lynn happens to be out of town.
Dianes last blog post..Home sold
Your car isn’t supposed to smell like that? Note to self.
Don’t let Gloria Steinem hear me say it, but I secretly love it when things fall apart because my man is gone. It makes me feel good.
(shhhhhhh)
HAHA Return to her original packaging. I laughed my ass off at that one.
Tiffanys last blog post..A to Z or a List of Useless Crap
Well my question is will all of those things get fixed in the same amount of time it took to break them?
KD @ A Bit Squirrellys last blog post..You Know How There Are Like The Longest Weeks Ever?
Ew! I was taking a bite of egg when I read the line about how your car smells… It almost came back up.
p.s. Love the “original packaging”/”exit only” line. Genius!
Jills last blog post..Blog the Recession
Clean floors make the rest of the house look better. That’s my little trick, anyhow.
Glad your husband is home!
AmyMs last blog post..Oh dear
If I came home to that, I would just bust out some ninja and get it all fixed up before you could explain everything that was broke.
You stayed home with the kids, that’s awesome enough.
And, in agreement with maggie, dammit, I like to come home and see that things didn’t go perfectly. It gives me reason to be a kick-ass ninja instead of a lazy bum :)
Sleep Deprivation Ninjas last blog post..Fighting Dogs
LOL… I love kids. Their responces to the Return of the King was brilliant, and what I imagine my kids would do exactly! It’s kinda funnie, different kids and different families…
I bet King is just awaiting the day he can teach 1of3 the secret art of re-hanging a door, hitting the DVD hard enough to make it live again, what that little , little screw on the top of the towel rod is for.
Love ya guys ^_^ peas…
So how did YOU greet him??
Tammys last blog post..
And the laundry, woman. That’s two ‘let em slide’ things that you got done. I think you deserve a present for that.
Zoeyjanes last blog post..And finally, an announcement
I am LMAO over here. Hey you did your job. YOu kept the children alive. You can’t do it all!!!!
Oh wait. So “toystoystoystoystoys where’s my toys!” isn’t a proper greeting when you come back from a business trip? Back to the drawing board.
BusyDads last blog post.."If Fury Wants to Hang Out, Dial 9-1-1"
I am concertedly NOT voting because I am not on the ballot. That’ll show them! Hm, yeah, a few passive-aggressive tendencies yet to be banished. And yeah, Owen was the same way with Steve when we got home last night; for ten days he’s been like “Where daddy?” over and over, yet when Steve got there last night? Nothing. i swear they are all schizo up until age 9, at which point they just get annoying. :)
Koris last blog post..If You are Reading This….
Floors are mopped?? In my book, that means The house is immaculate.
Wow. That’s weird. I did not write the first part of the comment. Which appeared in my comment box.
Freaky.
Ellies last blog post..Putt Putt
Back in the original packaging? Bwahahahahaha. I wanna get up in that.
Misss last blog post..It’s What We Deserve…
My car smells like vomit with really stinky feet AND SALAMI BUTT dog!
Top that.
Audubon Rons last blog post..Letter to My Ex
Exit only! Amen sistah!!!
I love that you’re so considerate of his feelings that you fill the house with ‘honey do’ jobs for him to do.
That way he knows he’s needed. You are the bestest wife ever ;-)
rachels last blog post..Mouthwatering Monday: Spinach and Garlic Stir Fry
poor dads. they always have to face the “fix-it or else” list. not that you do that, bc heck, you did wash the sheets…
but i keep breaking my closet door and knowing full well he told me how to use it right (its a door people, i know but you don’t know me, don’t judge me.)
and he keeps having to fix it.
i love men and their fix it capabilities.
Your 3of3 sounds a lot like my 2of2! Why does everything always go to hell in a handbasket when daddy’s gone?
My husband is going away in a few days. I expect to have a list like that for him when he returns . . . and those damned pillow fights . . . why they gotta break my stuff?
I am SO glad to know your house is normal! LOL Well, except for the vomit and feet smell. That’s just, you know, stinky.
Robinas last blog post..Mummies and Mirrors
I was chuckling before I read Tenakim’s response. Seriously though-wtf with kids wanting back where they came from? Hello? It’s like a bajillion degres, why ya gotta climb all over me?!
tracis last blog post..
Sounds like Dad’s got his work cut out for him!
calicobebops last blog post..Ladie’s Night!
None of this really sounds all that bad except for the car thing. My suggestion: sprinkle a little onion salt and some dried mustard in the back seat. It will smell like McDonalds.
Sounds so familiar. I always come up to a rather large list. What a great welcome back.
VegasDads last blog post..a few steps forward and a giant leap backward
um, DVD player broken? it was probably from the porn.
ms picket to yous last blog post..Boxed In
I love how each one of them approached him in their own way. LOL. I love having 3 kids.
At least you found out why your car smelled. A crab. Holy Jesus! Can’t even imagine what a dead crab smells like.
ohmommys last blog post..Why must they grow? I might as well brag.
There is some sort of planet in retrograde. I am convinced of it. Everything is falling apart and people are being weird and I don’t know what else but I don’t like it. I feel like I’m in a Stephen King movie saying “but don’t you see it? DON’T YOU SEE IT?” And no one else does.
But you do. You see it in the towel bar thing.
Mom101s last blog post..Goodness and Light and Rainbows and Warm Fuzzies and Happy Faces and Hearts Over the i in Liz
Geez louise. A lot of stuff sure did break when he was gone. See, I have the opposite thing happen when Steven is away. Things don’t get broken…usually he breaks them. Ha. Sometimes.
Ashleys last blog post..Laundry Is For Losers
Keep the asparagus ravioli. Feed it to one child per week. Within 3 weeks you should be able to smell who keeps missing the toilet.
NukeDads last blog post..Tax Free Weekend Death Shopapalooza
Oh, how I can relate! I’ve gone so far as to take photos of the vomit splattered on the kitchen floor that happened while my hubby was gone on a business trip and emailed the pic’s to him on his trip with a subject line of something like, “so how’s your day going?”
As “hard” as business travel supposedly is, I think the stay-at-home parent gets a far worse deal…every time…
Kimmelins last blog post..Family Fun at Bozeman’s Sweet Pea Festival
It is posts like these that make me terrified of losing my husband to his cancer for the practical reasons in life. Let alone the whole, losing my true love to a nasty disease.
KEEP BELIEVING
Angie @ KEEP BELIEVINGs last blog post..what rocks and what sucks by Angie
I had 3 non-working DVD players at one time just a few weeks ago!
Aprils last blog post..At Last, My Internet is Up Again!!
Your vomit has legs? Dude that is awesome. The foot odour not so much.
I am guessing they wear Crocs?
(and no, I am never ever gunna get over it)
Kelleys last blog post..I was going to write a post…
Why do you like, bust stuff when he goes away?
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..From the bunker
At least the floors are mopped.
missy wigginss last blog post..Once Upon A Tuesday.
Haha, what a homecoming!
Jainas last blog post..Miracle Monday: Subtle Ways
What is it about when they travel? Things always go to shit around here when my hubs is gone too.
amys last blog post..Ya feeling me?