The other day I made an off-handed reference to my car and the fact that it smelled a bit off, like, “vomit with really smelly feet” or something. Well, after a little digging, I am happy to report that I found the source of the odor.
One Dead Crab.
That’s right, I had a dead crab in the back of my car. Factually, I had one full dead crab, one separate crab leg, and a few assorted crab parts on the side. You see, we spent a day at the beach last week, and the boys found all these totally rad crab parts that they just HAD to show their friends at home, and then 2of3 hit the motherload: One whole, entire, completely awesome dead crab. About the size of his palm.
I believe the exact agreement we struck went something like this: “You can show them to your friends and then they go straight into the outside trash.” Two days later, we remembered that conversation.
So, I wrote that little post, and then Jill over at Charming & Delightful and I got into an email pissing match exchange over who had found the most gross stuff in the back of their car. And then we realized that hey, maybe we aren’t the only two total suck ass overwhelmed and outnumbered mothers in the world. And THEN we decided to have a little contest.
That’s right, we would like to know what the nastiest, most disgusting, slimiest, stinkiest thing you’ve ever found in your car is. I have found a pear that, by the feel of it when I discovered it under the passenger seat of the car, seemed about 4 months expired. Minimum. Only because it felt like pureed brains.
And, yeah, my car has crabs. Top that.
The winner will receive salvation in the form of a gift pack from Febreze, because if I believe in anything in life, it’s hiding the evidence.
All you have to do to enter is:
- Leave a comment, on either my blog or Jill’s, telling us ALL about it. We want to know the smell, the feel, the look. The more our stomachs turn, the better.
- Post about it on your own site, and be sure to include a link back to Febreze in the post. Feel free to steal our copyright-infringing button that we totally stole from the internet and modified anyway.
- If you like, turn it into a post at your own blog and just sign up on the handy little Mr Linky thing on either of our sites.
Entries will be accepted until Monday, August 18th. And good luck topping dead crabs, yo.
Tagged with: Febreze giveaway, gross things found in cars
Redneck Mommy
Tuesday, 12 August, 2008 at 21:31I’ve had a few treats left rotting for stank left behind in my vehicle. Courtesy of my children and the hubs.
Last summer, my kids were intent on catching snakes to keep as a pet. I put my foot down and said NO f-ing way was I having a snake in my house. But I did say if they found one they could give it to their cousin.
They took me up on that offer, found a big long nasty snake and stuck it in a shoe box to bring to their cousin’s house, when we went for a visit.
Except they forgot the snake in the box and the box was kicked under the seat. In the hot sun. For days.
When we all piled into the car I couldn’t figure out what that heinous smell was.
Twas a baked snake. Yum.
Then there was the time my husband stepped in cow shit, took his shoes off and left them in my car. Except the kids found the shoes and made a game of tossing dad’s shitty shoes back in forth at each other. Shit flew everywhere, including onto the ceiling of the car.
And my personal favorite was when I asked the hubs to pick up some fresh salmon from the store for supper. He did. Then he met some friends and ended up going out for drinks before coming home.
That salmon sat in my car, festering for over a week before he remembered and took it out to the trash.
That stunk worse than the time I ran over a skunk. Ya. Good times.
Redneck Mommys last blog post..Not Just a Boob
rachel
Tuesday, 12 August, 2008 at 22:29I laughed at this on plurk and I’m laughing at it now.
Fabulous contest idea!!!
Can’t wait to read all the entries.
maggie, dammit
Tuesday, 12 August, 2008 at 22:45Dude.
I’m not entering, I just wanted to stop by and say awesome.
and disturbing. And weird. And disgusting.
But mostly awesome.
Melanie Dawson
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 2:45Okay, so my husband and I worked opposite shifts a few years ago and we had only one car. I would ride to work with a friend and then take the car when he came to work at 3. So one day I got in the car and it had this horrible rotting smell to it, and lo and behold it got much worse when I turned on the AC. Now, this was before we had kids so the car was fairly clean and it also happened to be the middle of summer. We took the car to our dealership and they said that apparently a mouse or rat had crawled into one of the pipes or hoses and died! The only way they could get it out would be to dismantle the car, but not to worry the rotting smell should go away once the thing decomposed, what?! So, yes we drove around in a rotting smelly car for about 3 weeks before the smell finally started to leave. It was three hundred times stronger when we turned on the AC, but it was to hot not to turn it on! To make this even better, my darling husband has no sense of smell, zip, zero, nada. He can smell nothing and it has always been like this. So, he could drive the car and of course not smell a thing, while I gagged every few seconds. He would smile at me with this haha smile that made me want to punch him!
Melanie Dawsons last blog post..Quack…no, not me
Tootsie Farklepants
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 3:05Who can top crabs?!? I think the worst thing I ever found was an expired baby bottle of milk. Twas the nasty.
Tootsie Farklepantss last blog post..The Message is NOT in the Details. It’s on the Car, Dude.
Zak
Friday, 15 August, 2008 at 19:16A few weeks ago, I noticed that when I got into my SUV (especially after being parked all day in the hot sun) that it smelled like dog shit. And then it started to smell like homeless person vomit/rotten dog shit. I investigated and realized I had left a poop diaper in the very back of my car after changing my son in the mall parking lot. I didn’t want to throw it out because it was one of his (expensive) cloth diapers and I decided I would man up and wash it. I opened it up to dump the poop in the toilet and gagged because of the aforementioned smell, but also because the poop had turned black and was growing green fur.
It was seriously the most disgusting thing ever.
And I threw that goddamn $18 dollar cloth diaper away.
Lorna
Saturday, 16 August, 2008 at 3:33I’m off to my own blog to post in full about all the car grossness I have encountered while raising three children. Just as a tease though I will say this, cheeseburger, snail, and rat. Check my blog for the full story.
Jared
Sunday, 17 August, 2008 at 4:31I know this is not the grossest, but is has to be close to the stank-assed-ness. Apparently a milkshake was spilled about a year ago in my wife’s car. It was cleaned up but not completely. The smell has been horrid all summer long and we have not been able to find the source of the stinch. We have cleaned the car out, vacuumed, shampooed the carpets…and it still reeks.
I finally found the culprit today. A small amount of milkshake was trapped in a small metal divot under the seat…complete with mold and other living organisms.
I hope to god the odor doesn’t come back or we might have to load the car up with air fresheners and trade it in real fast. :D
Jareds last blog post..An Ass Kickin’ Saturday