Aug 11 2008

My Car Has Crabs

Direct complaints to Mr Lady in regards to contests

The other day I made an off-handed reference to my car and the fact that it smelled a bit off, like, “vomit with really smelly feet” or something. Well, after a little digging, I am happy to report that I found the source of the odor.

One Dead Crab.

That’s right, I had a dead crab in the back of my car. Factually, I had one full dead crab, one separate crab leg, and a few assorted crab parts on the side. You see, we spent a day at the beach last week, and the boys found all these totally rad crab parts that they just HAD to show their friends at home, and then 2of3 hit the motherload: One whole, entire, completely awesome dead crab. About the size of his palm.

I believe the exact agreement we struck went something like this: “You can show them to your friends and then they go straight into the outside trash.” Two days later, we remembered that conversation.

So, I wrote that little post, and then Jill over at Charming & Delightful and I got into an email pissing match exchange over who had found the most gross stuff in the back of their car. And then we realized that hey, maybe we aren’t the only two total suck ass overwhelmed and outnumbered mothers in the world. And THEN we decided to have a little contest.

That’s right, we would like to know what the nastiest, most disgusting, slimiest, stinkiest thing you’ve ever found in your car is. I have found a pear that, by the feel of it when I discovered it under the passenger seat of the car, seemed about 4 months expired. Minimum. Only because it felt like pureed brains.

And, yeah, my car has crabs. Top that.

The winner will receive salvation in the form of a gift pack from Febreze, because if I believe in anything in life, it’s hiding the evidence.

All you have to do to enter is:

  • Leave a comment, on either my blog or Jill’s, telling us ALL about it. We want to know the smell, the feel, the look. The more our stomachs turn, the better.
  • Post about it on your own site, and be sure to include a link back to Febreze in the post. Feel free to steal our copyright-infringing button that we totally stole from the internet and modified anyway.
  • If you like, turn it into a post at your own blog and just sign up on the handy little Mr Linky thing on either of our sites.

Entries will be accepted until Monday, August 18th. And good luck topping dead crabs, yo.

  • Kirtsy
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Technorati
  • Slashdot
  • blogmarks
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • TwitThis
  • YahooMyWeb
  • Furl
  • Pownce
  • Facebook
  • E-mail this story to a friend!
  • Print this article!

Comments close after 5 days. Because Spam sucks. 60 Comments to “My Car Has Crabs”

  1. stpaulslimon 11 Aug 2008 at

    Maggots, which I think top dead crabs, and is as close to dead seafood as we can get in the Midwest. My maggots were courtesy of a McDonald’s cheeseburger left under the back seat of the van by my niece. She couldn’t finish the second one she’d demanded when I gave in to the whining and stopped at the fat factory and so put it under the seat so her cousins couldn’t find it and she could come back to it later. We found it several 100 degree days later, promptly lysol-ed the hell out of the van and drove it straight to the dealer for a trade in. When the used car manager inquired about the smell, I told him than the girls’ grandfather had died in the car and we needed to trade it in because the trauma made it impossible for the kids to ever ride in it again. He took pity on me and gave me $500 over book for the trade.

    stpaulslims last blog post..Plumping up your kids, before they’re born, August 11, 2008

  2. [...] Mr. Lady from Whiskey In My Sippy Cup and Jill from Charming & Delightful are having a [...]

  3. Elizabethon 11 Aug 2008 at

    http://table4five.net/2008/08/11/dude-is-that-cat-pee/

    Cat pee. Hot, baked in the sun, cat pee.

  4. AmyMon 11 Aug 2008 at

    I don’t have a car story. But I do have a gross, old food related story. My friend and her husband went camping one summer, and it was his job to take care of the cooler when they got back home. Due to pregnancies and other issues, they weren’t able to go camping for a few years. So when they were finally able to go camping again, she went to dig the cooler out of the garage. It still had food in it. From 3 years before.

    AmyMs last blog post..Road trip

  5. DC Urban Dadon 11 Aug 2008 at

    My car is a virgin so no crabs - yet.

    Now my cereal container on the other hand not so lucky. About 4 months ago I went to open my glass cereal container (Frosted flakes - mmmmmmm) when I noticed the flakes were moving. On closer examination I noticed hundreds of maggots chillin’ amongst the flakes. Tasty!!

  6. VegasDadon 11 Aug 2008 at

    I found a rotten apple under the driver’s seat in my car. It was stinky and slimy, but probably not near as bad as a DEAD CRAB.

    VegasDads last blog post..r.i.p.

  7. anne nahmon 11 Aug 2008 at

    I’m out for the contest, but I do have to tell you:

    When I was a kid, we moved to the upper midwest. The first winter we were there, my mom left a six pack of Diet Coke in the passenger’s side seat of our car.

    Not only did the fierce cold cause all six sodas to explode? But stalactites. Massive, frozen, hanging, cave-like cones of of diet cokecicles from the ceiling of the car. Like seriously scary six inch ones. We didn’t even know how to clean it up - the car was already in the garage.

    anne nahms last blog post..Finding the Center

  8. Korion 11 Aug 2008 at

    I can’t top it not matter how hard I try.

    Koris last blog post..Letter to Myself at 18

  9. pattyon 11 Aug 2008 at

    Kori said it best. I can’t top it either. I’m considering your post a PSA, as well as a premise for an ABC After School Special.

  10. mountain mommaon 11 Aug 2008 at

    Just thinking about this makes me dry heave!

    I found a sippy cup that apparently my child did not finish. It had been full of milk at one point in time. She threw it so that it was not visible to the naked eye but it was in such a position that the valve on the inside came loose and allowed milk to leak out. This cup had probably been sitting for roughly 3 months, if not more. A sufficient amount of strawberry curd milk had leaked on to my floor and into my sliding door. It was revoltingly gross.

  11. Gnillepson 11 Aug 2008 at

    Well, it’s not food, in this country anyway. So I worked for the cable company and used my own van. (Read : Blue Bunny, really, kids always asking if I was selling ice cream) and one day I notice a cat jumped in my van and pee’d. Yeah, that sucked, middle of the summer it was terrible. One might believe this to be the end of the story, but oh no, it’s not.

    So I get back in the van on Monday and goto work. I smelled Chinese food all the way to work, but thought nothing of it. (Hit Panda express that day, cause something drove me to it) Then the next day, it smelled like bad Chinese food… man it smelled, but I am a guy and am impervious to rotting food I leave in the car for weeks on end, so I push on. By the end of the week I am DYING, even I can not take it.

    So I start cleaning out the van to locate the smell… can’t find it. WTH?!?! So I go into the back and start looking and then I take the Gorilla Racks out cause I HAVE to fix this and there, trapped in between two of the legs is the cat… That’s all I got.

    Gnillepss last blog post..My Car Has Crabs

  12. Gnillepson 11 Aug 2008 at

    Did you really want the details of look, smell, and the such?

    Gnillepss last blog post..My Car Has Crabs

  13. Adrianeon 11 Aug 2008 at

    I decided to clean out my Volvo wagon one nice winter afternoon to - it was uncharacteristically warm for Kentucky, and really sunny. I brought out a small laundry basket for things that needed to be brought into the house and a small waste basket for wrappers, juice boxes, napkins and other kinds of car trash that finds it’s way under the seats.

    I dove into the clearing out. First the front seat, not much there, save for a few stray receipts, blown in leaves and gum wrappers. Done!

    For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to unhook the baby’s seat so I could get at the real mess, the floorboard at the foot of her seat. (my theory is that since no one’s legs hang down there- there is more room for junk to accumulate). I sat down and started taking things out. Mismatched shoes, board books, happy meal toys; The deeper I dug, the worse it smelled. Moldy smell. Gagging moldy smell.

    At the bottom of the pile was my old black hoodie that I keep in my car for chilly emergencies. Just looking at it, I knew what was inside. I flashed to a field trip I had chaperoned for my son’s class to the U-pick pumpkin farm in October. He was cold after the hayride. I went to the car to get my hoodie. He wore it for a little while.

    Then he zipped up his small-ish (re: 3 lb or so) pumpkin in the hoodie to “make it easier” to carry. He put it in the back seat, zipped it up, tied the arms together and promptly forgot about it. So did I. Bad Mom. I know.

    Now it is February. 5 months of putrefying pumpkin wrapped in what I am assuming to be an amazingly cryogenic scent sealing hoodie. I unzipped. I was attacked by a smack of mold funk smell, and the pumpkin IMPLODED. It literally went from a orb shape to a caved in gelatinous goo puddle.

    I had to use the kid’s sand shovel to scoop it out into the trash. Then I threw away that shovel. And the hoodie; there was no saving it. Remarkably, there was almost no goo touching the upholstery of the car, I was able to scrub it out the flecks of ex-pumpkin that did remain with some Nature’s Miracle and then Febreezed the crap out of the whole thing and left the windows open for the rest of the day.

    I still get the faintest whiff of pumpkin when it’s super hot and the windows have been rolled up. Eeewww.

    Adrianes last blog post..Seperated at birth?

  14. Adrianeon 11 Aug 2008 at

    I’m posting this too my blog too.

    Adrianes last blog post..Seperated at birth?

  15. Robinaon 11 Aug 2008 at

    I got nothing, thank GOD!!!!!! And how in God’s name can anyone beat yours, unless they have fish that been dead in there for a few weeks?? Or maybe a dead mouse? But freaking crab parts??????

    Robinas last blog post..Sons and daughters

  16. Debon 11 Aug 2008 at

    Oh my god. If I didn’t love this so much I would be traumatized by the maggots and cats and oh my god. But I am so your go-to-girl if you want someone to smell how bad the milk is with you. We’ve done the beach rot thing, and that is the worst.

    My second worst was when my first son was about two he was very much into chilling with a bottle of apple juice on long car rides. Somehow one that he had half finished on vacation got chucked to the back of the car. When we opened the car about four summer days later, the rancid smell was only trumped by a bizarre hissing sound which led me to the bottle, distended to four times it’s size, cooking a horror brew of street wino crossed with evil clown balloons.

    Debs last blog post..The pitfalls of mixing business and personal relationships

  17. Aprilon 11 Aug 2008 at

    I think my parents would be surprised to learn that, no, I can’t top the crab.

    Aprils last blog post..Weekend Wrap-Up

  18. MommyCosmon 11 Aug 2008 at

    Does it count if it wasn’t actually MY car??

    My husband had to ride in his best friend’s work truck because they were working on a job together. He was giving him crap about the truck being nasty dirty *pun intended*. We were at his house for a visit with the wives and kids. When we were about to leave, we noticed that his friend left the truck unlocked.

    It just so happened that we had a fresh 6-month-old baby poop diaper. You know, the kind where the baby has just entered the solid food stage from the my-baby’s-poop-doesn’t-stink breast feeding stage. Yeah, total FUNK. Oozy even.

    So…he stuck it under the back seat of his friend’s truck. Called it a social experiment to see how long it would take him to notice.

    It stayed there for days before he finally figured it out and called my husband swearing.

    We keep our vehicles LOCKED whenever we visit!

    MommyCosms last blog post..Santa Cam Scam

  19. Matton 11 Aug 2008 at

    I definitely cannot beat that. No way. The worst has to be a fossilized stick of string cheese. Definitely can’t hang with the crab.

  20. amyon 11 Aug 2008 at

    I’m not sure that anyone can come up with something grosser than a dead crab. EWWW!!

  21. Xbox4NappyRashon 11 Aug 2008 at

    Not entering any competition, but I had owned my first car about 7 weeks when I discovered a used condom wedged in the back seat.

    Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Up periscope II

  22. BusyDadon 11 Aug 2008 at

    I love the dead crab story, but I almost puked at the dead cat story (and died laughing that he mistook it for Panda Express). Just throwing my vote in for dead cat. I have nothing. I did find my $200 sunglasses that I thought I lost months earlier. So now I own 2 pairs of $200 sunglasses. Definitely not Febreze worthy.

    BusyDads last blog post..Even PETA People Would Laugh

  23. sarahon 11 Aug 2008 at

    The grossest of the gross has to have been a box of gas station nachos my sister had left in my car, that had slowly made their into the depths of under my front seat.

    I didn’t notice the funk of sun rotted fake Velveeta until about 2 weeks later….and when I finally pulled the box out, which I swear would have grown legs and walked away if I waited another day, I discovered that it had grown this muff of black and white fuzzy mold. Needless to say I held my nose and hauled ass to the trash as fast as possible.

    sarahs last blog post..Candle for Tibet

  24. ohmommyon 11 Aug 2008 at

    Ha.

    I forgot about a bag filled with ground meat & pork, after a trip to the grocery store last summer. We finally found it after THREE WEEKS. It smelled like death in my car. Good thing I was not blogging then. I probably would have taken a picture. ;)

    ohmommys last blog post.."OH, HI OH!"

  25. justagirlon 11 Aug 2008 at

    For me it was pretty bad. In November of last year we went to Florida. A few days before we left I went grocery shopping and bought a half gallon of milk. When I got home I figured I was crazy when it went missing. THIS IS A TRUE STORY. In January I start to smell something odd, this went on for about three days until I was like WTF. I had looked everywhere in the car and just couldnt figure it out. Finally I found it, I have an explorer and in the back that milk has fallen into a weird spot that you couldn’t easily find. It had exploded all in the back behind the back two seats. You cant even imagine the smell, it took 6 months and thousands of dollars to get the smell out.

    But yeah crabs would be pretty bad too.

    justagirls last blog post..Was it as good for you.

  26. insana mamaon 11 Aug 2008 at

    I will post my disgusting car odor story tomorrow 8-12-08 or the next day or the next…

  27. the planet of janeton 11 Aug 2008 at

    oh, no. i can’t top this. not even with my friend’s story about the gallon of milk she left in the car for about a week.

    in summer.

    when it was 112.

  28. Samon 11 Aug 2008 at

    It was my bad luck that I read this right after eating lunch… considering I have to leave to pick up the kids from school in a couple minutes, I figure I’ll come back later and leave a comment about the time I puked in my minivan (after reading this post) ;)
    Thanks for the laugh!

    Sams last blog post..Hasta La Vista, Linny

  29. Alishaon 11 Aug 2008 at

    My (ex)husband bought a brand spankin new BMW. About a week later he found a tomato under the passenger seat. I guess he pissed someone off at the dealership.

  30. Juiceon 11 Aug 2008 at

    A dead rat.. not a dead rat that I forgot to throw away, a dead rat that had been alive in there at one point.. in the venting.. with it’s family…then it died.. so it’s babies died.. but not before it left rat turds in the vents… yea.. car detailing really doesn’t help much with that kind of stuff.. actually considered pour limburger cheese in the vents to improve the smell… oh farm life is sooo gross sometimes..

    Juices last blog post..A different kind of guest!

  31. VDogon 11 Aug 2008 at

    All I’ve got is soy milk - turned - soy cheese, along with every possible dry snack known to toddlers covered in sippy spray, etc.

    The Warrior complains that my car STINKS! every time he gets in it.

  32. Carrieon 11 Aug 2008 at

    Ew. I know exactly what you mean, sadly.

    Of course I have the “I forgot I changed the baby’s diaper in the car and left the dirty diaper in there for a few days” story - but it isn’t much more of a story than that . . . 2-day old dirty diaper = muy disgusting smell.

    Also, if someone leaves corn nuts in my car, I freak. I hate, hate, hate the smell of corn nuts. I don’t even think they make a Febreeze strong enough to cover that up.

    Carries last blog post..Riddle Me This

  33. daysgobyon 11 Aug 2008 at

    Three month old french fries, dipped in mayo and ketchup and left in a BOWL (shaking head) half-full of milk and cherry kool-aid. With cookie crumbles.

    Congratulations, just-out-of-long-hospital-stay father-in-law! Yeah, we realize our kids are NEVER ALLOWED in your car AGAIN.

    (His car smelt like ripened tennis shoes with a hint of rotting flesh. Mmmm-mmm!)

    daysgobys last blog post..ingalls wilding

  34. Mom101on 11 Aug 2008 at

    I don’t know if this counts, but as a kid I used to hate McDonald’s so much, my parents would buy us burgers and in the back seat, when they weren’t looking, I’d hide the burger between the cushions.

    So nasty.

    Mom101s last blog post..True Tales from Mobile Home 8

  35. Erinon 12 Aug 2008 at

    I forgot leftover calamari in my car one summer. I imagine we have smelled similar odors.

    Erins last blog post..Farm Fresh Delivery time!

  36. I don’t think I can tops Juice’s rats, but it’ll give me something to talk about!

  37. ms picket to youon 12 Aug 2008 at

    Am totally confused by that whole other thing because I do not like change, so fuck it: organic cereal bars in the arm cubby of my car makes all kinds of scary mold that is absolutely not worth eating.

    ms picket to yous last blog post..To Blog or Not To Blog

  38. flickrlovron 12 Aug 2008 at

    I [heart] Febreeze. Just had to get that out of the way.

    My worst nasty car story would probably have to be The Salscapades.

    We’d bought about 15 tomatoes-why so many, I don’t know-at the farmer’s market the week before, and after about 5 days, they were starting to get mooshy and show hints of molding. I finally decided to cut off all the bad bits and try to make some homemade salsa, in an effort to not completely waste our expensive organic ‘maters.

    I made this fantabulous salsa: diced onions, chiles, pepper, dash of salt, etc. and ended up with so much of it that I thought I’d bring some to my friend’s house that night to share at dinner. I put it in a tupperware container, shoved it in a paper bag, and stuck it in the back seat. MISTAKE #1: putting it in the back seat. Who remembers stuff in the back seat? I got to my friend’s house, and we had a lovely dinner. A week or so later, I started getting wafts of this sort of rank stench that seemed to be coming from inside the car. Whenever I’d get in, I’d look around…nothing. I learned to love the fresh air from an open window, and I tried to ignore the smell every time I got in the car. After a month, I just couldn’t skirt around it anymore-there was something DYING in my car. I was certain. Something dying or dead, possibly covered in rancid blue cheese and dog crap, and then rolled around in fish fertilizer and left in the sun to dry.

    I bet you know what’s coming. It’s not hard, right? The SALSA.

    I scoured that car, searched high and low for the smelly culprit, and finally, after almost a 1/2 hour of desperately pawing through the car…I found it. The paper bag. Mold growing through-to the OUTSIDE. Wedged tightly underneath the passenger side seat. I gingerly pulled it out, with garden gloves on, and *dumb #&@! moment* OPENED the bag. Holy heavens have mercy! The stench that wafted up at me was practically unbearable. I threw the bag down and walked about a mile away from the car so I could take a deep breath. I came back, picked up the bag, and looked inside. There, nestled in a bed of white, black, and PURPLE (yes, purple) mold was the plastic tupperware container, lid popped open from the heat, and this black tar-ish barf-like substance that, when turned upside down, did not even make a run for the ground. Just stayed stuck, adhered to the plastic, like a kid with severe separation anxiety. I dry heaved for about a month, and still, just picturing ‘the salsa’ in my mind gives me the shivers. It was like an entity, a thing with a mind of its own.

    I haven’t been too keen on salsa since. And I check my car daily for any food remnants, for fear of a repeat of the Salscapades.

  39. Janon 12 Aug 2008 at

    On the morning of my middle school’s International Day, the family Subaru took on a crock pot full of borscht. Ten years later, when I was driving the car in college, it still stank, especially so in the summer.

    Do you have any idea what ten-year-old borscht smells like?

  40. NukeDadon 12 Aug 2008 at

    Outside of a dirty diaper that rolled under a seat (mini-van: no trunk), I just can’t compete with that. Although, I do have a rich friend who would tell you that you’re a peasant for having crabs: his Porsche would have contracted Lobsters.

    NukeDads last blog post..This Is Going To Be Tougher Than I Thought

  41. Kris B.on 12 Aug 2008 at

    Umm… stray dog vomit. Piles of it. In the loopy carpet found on the back of my folded down car back seat. After said stray dog has apparently eaten a Jed Clampett sized bowl of cheap cat food and . . . are those Ramen noodles? Oh shit. Unless Dr. Frankenstein has used his talents to animate pasta, those are. . . TAPEWORMS!!! OMFG, the mass of orange, slime covered goo was positively seething with live, and dead, intestinal parasites. Ever smelled partially digested, warm, cat food turned to dog puke full of worms on a hot day? No? Well, if you own a cat (and you feed that cat an unnamed brand of cheap dry cat food) soak about 4 cups of that food in just enough water to make it look like ploppy cow poo. Then dump the mess back into the bag, close the bag securely and let it ferment for a few hours. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Take your fermented cat food, in it’s closed bag, and microwave it on high for a minute or so. Got it? Okay, now, open the bag just enough to toss in some old cooked ramen noodles and some of that slimey, gooey, jelly looking stuff you get when you refrigerate chicken that’s been cooked a certain way. Give the bag a little shake to distribute the contents. Now, stick your nose in the bag. Smell that? The actual pile in the back of my car smelled worse than that. Let’s move on. Go toss your bag full of foulness onto a piece of loopy carpet (the kind you have at the office should do nicely). Make sure to spread it around. Now here’s a pair of old underwear (don’t ask) and McDonald’s napkins to clean it all up. Oh and make sure you don’t touch any of it because the feel is even worse than the look and smell. Trust me on this one.

    But our little experiment isn’t over yet! Now, to truly understand the horror, miss a pile between the car seats. Find it only after it’s been percolating in a closed car that’s spent 2 days parked in the Oklahoma summer sun and high humidity. The good news is the worms were at least dead by then.

  42. Melisaon 12 Aug 2008 at

    I’ve got nothin’.

    But I am totally grossed out by everyone else’s stories, so thanks for that. Ick.

    Melisas last blog post..What’s The Point of Having Kids If You Can’t Torment Them Now And Then?

  43. Joeon 12 Aug 2008 at

    My darling wife used always keep a little kids potty in the car, in case the girls ever had to go while she was out. During the week, this wasn’t such a big deal, since she was out and about often enough, that she would remember to empty the potty.

    A couple times she would get a little busy (particularly on Friday) and would forget about it sitting (stewing) in the back of our car over the weekend. I remember one time, going into the back of the car (we had a Outback wagon at the time) to get something, only to get hit by the eau de subway aroma. I lifted the lid of the potty and found it to be about a quarter filled with steaming (did I mention this was in the summer), fermenting piss (don’t forget the TP). I about lost it.

    I have been shat upon, peed on, thrown up on (once in the mouth) and snotted on and walked away from those without being phased. However, there is just something about an open pot of urine simmering away in a car that just about got to me (I do thank God it wasn’t poo).

    Joes last blog post..Goin’ Fishin’

  44. Lori B (mamanuggle)on 12 Aug 2008 at

    hey flickrlover, did ya re-use the Tupperware?
    just kidding!

    Lori B (mamanuggle)s last blog post..Impending Dread - return to work

  45. Jenon 12 Aug 2008 at

    In college, I took a road trip to get a tatoo :)

    Long story short, my friends and I ate at Olive Garden to celebrate our horribly 1990’s yen and yang tattoos and on the way back to school my car broke down. I had to get it towed and was totally busted.

    Two weeks later, my dad picked up my car from the shop and could not believe the horrible STANK emanating from the back seat. Turns out there was a “to go” container of chicken fettucine that had been sitting in the Texas heat all that time.

    ECHGH!

  46. Saraon 12 Aug 2008 at

    I cannot believe I’m about to share this with teh internetz, but dude… I found my cat in the car once. With his four-inch tapeworm buddy hanging out of his mouth.

    See, my cat had been diagnosed with tapeworms, and we were treating him with tapeworm tabs. We’d been keeping him inside (even though he’s normally an outdoor cat) because the tabs can cause the cat to vomit up the tapeworm sometimes (if the tapeworm has migrated to the cat’s stomach, which hah! who lets their cat be wormy that long? NOT US, NO WAY), instead of passing it the other way, and we didn’t want him to choke without us around to help. Also, keeping him in just seemed like The Thing To Do. He didn’t like it, and one day he managed to get outside (after several days of frantic meowing, bolting whenever the door was opened, and clawing madly at the walls and carpet).

    When we couldn’t find him in a couple of hours, we just figured he’d taken off to sulk in a tree for a while. Apparently, though, he’d jumped in our open car window and curled up for a “ha ha, I’m outside, bitches” nap. Aaaand… the tapeworm chose then to dislodge from my cat’s stomach. Not his intestines, where he would be all dead-ified and disollved, oh no. His stomach. Where the tapeworm was, um, not dead, and not dissolved. And then? My cat took a nap with the tapeworm mostly out but apparently, er, still attached, and the tapeworm died.

    What did I find in mycar? I found a sleeping cat and a pile of cat vomit with a shriveling tapeworm on top. All great Neptune’s ocean will not wash those stains clean from my hands.

    Saras last blog post..At last.

  47. Saraon 12 Aug 2008 at

    The revisited trauma caused me to misspell “dissolved.” Pay no attention.

    Saras last blog post..At last.

  48. Kristabellaon 12 Aug 2008 at

    Well, at least it was an actual crab and your car isn’t out there being promiscuous.

    I have nothing to share in this because I am a clean freak only when it comes to my car. But if you want to have a contest for the longest I’ve gone without cleaning my toilet, then sign me up.

    Kristabellas last blog post..How My Mind Works

  49. Martion 12 Aug 2008 at

    Well I don’t have a good car story that hasn’t been mentioned here but I do have a good food outside story.
    So our good friend had a huge cookout. Huge. Well he left for overseas the next day. Well my brother was living with our good friend. One day about 3 months AFTER the cookout (it was the middle of summer in VA so hot, humid )
    Well he noticed in the corner of the deck a blue cooler.
    He went to open the cooler to clean it out thinking it had held drinks.
    NOPE.
    It was full of raw ROTTED chicken.
    Apparently it was forgotten to throw on the grill at the cookout so it sat. Forgotten. For THREE MONTHS. IN THE HEAT.
    The smell was RANK.I know because I came over right after he had opened it and I could smell it from the FRONT of the house.
    It was bad. The smell was throughout the house and when I pulled up my poor brother was heaving his guts out in the bushes from the odor.

  50. Average Janeon 12 Aug 2008 at

    I added an old blog post to the Mr. Linky about some barbecued ribs that managed to remain hidden in a seldom-used vehicle of ours for four months. I feel a little ill just remembering the smell.

    Average Janes last blog post..Average Jane Feels Like Walking

  51. alion 12 Aug 2008 at

    i don’t think i’m winning any prizes here.
    a sippy cup…circa…who the heck knows how long.
    but i gave it to my unsuspecting daughter. who DRANK it. and then puked it.

  52. Redneck Mommyon 12 Aug 2008 at

    I’ve had a few treats left rotting for stank left behind in my vehicle. Courtesy of my children and the hubs.

    Last summer, my kids were intent on catching snakes to keep as a pet. I put my foot down and said NO f-ing way was I having a snake in my house. But I did say if they found one they could give it to their cousin.

    They took me up on that offer, found a big long nasty snake and stuck it in a shoe box to bring to their cousin’s house, when we went for a visit.

    Except they forgot the snake in the box and the box was kicked under the seat. In the hot sun. For days.

    When we all piled into the car I couldn’t figure out what that heinous smell was.

    Twas a baked snake. Yum.

    Then there was the time my husband stepped in cow shit, took his shoes off and left them in my car. Except the kids found the shoes and made a game of tossing dad’s shitty shoes back in forth at each other. Shit flew everywhere, including onto the ceiling of the car.

    And my personal favorite was when I asked the hubs to pick up some fresh salmon from the store for supper. He did. Then he met some friends and ended up going out for drinks before coming home.

    That salmon sat in my car, festering for over a week before he remembered and took it out to the trash.

    That stunk worse than the time I ran over a skunk. Ya. Good times.

    Redneck Mommys last blog post..Not Just a Boob

  53. rachelon 12 Aug 2008 at

    I laughed at this on plurk and I’m laughing at it now.
    Fabulous contest idea!!!
    Can’t wait to read all the entries.

  54. maggie, dammiton 12 Aug 2008 at

    Dude.

    I’m not entering, I just wanted to stop by and say awesome.

    and disturbing. And weird. And disgusting.

    But mostly awesome.

  55. Melanie Dawsonon 13 Aug 2008 at

    Okay, so my husband and I worked opposite shifts a few years ago and we had only one car. I would ride to work with a friend and then take the car when he came to work at 3. So one day I got in the car and it had this horrible rotting smell to it, and lo and behold it got much worse when I turned on the AC. Now, this was before we had kids so the car was fairly clean and it also happened to be the middle of summer. We took the car to our dealership and they said that apparently a mouse or rat had crawled into one of the pipes or hoses and died! The only way they could get it out would be to dismantle the car, but not to worry the rotting smell should go away once the thing decomposed, what?! So, yes we drove around in a rotting smelly car for about 3 weeks before the smell finally started to leave. It was three hundred times stronger when we turned on the AC, but it was to hot not to turn it on! To make this even better, my darling husband has no sense of smell, zip, zero, nada. He can smell nothing and it has always been like this. So, he could drive the car and of course not smell a thing, while I gagged every few seconds. He would smile at me with this haha smile that made me want to punch him!

    Melanie Dawsons last blog post..Quack…no, not me

  56. Tootsie Farklepantson 13 Aug 2008 at

    Who can top crabs?!? I think the worst thing I ever found was an expired baby bottle of milk. Twas the nasty.

    Tootsie Farklepantss last blog post..The Message is NOT in the Details. It’s on the Car, Dude.

  57. Zakon 15 Aug 2008 at

    A few weeks ago, I noticed that when I got into my SUV (especially after being parked all day in the hot sun) that it smelled like dog shit. And then it started to smell like homeless person vomit/rotten dog shit. I investigated and realized I had left a poop diaper in the very back of my car after changing my son in the mall parking lot. I didn’t want to throw it out because it was one of his (expensive) cloth diapers and I decided I would man up and wash it. I opened it up to dump the poop in the toilet and gagged because of the aforementioned smell, but also because the poop had turned black and was growing green fur.

    It was seriously the most disgusting thing ever.

    And I threw that goddamn $18 dollar cloth diaper away.

  58. Lornaon 16 Aug 2008 at

    I’m off to my own blog to post in full about all the car grossness I have encountered while raising three children. Just as a tease though I will say this, cheeseburger, snail, and rat. Check my blog for the full story.

  59. Jaredon 17 Aug 2008 at

    I know this is not the grossest, but is has to be close to the stank-assed-ness. Apparently a milkshake was spilled about a year ago in my wife’s car. It was cleaned up but not completely. The smell has been horrid all summer long and we have not been able to find the source of the stinch. We have cleaned the car out, vacuumed, shampooed the carpets…and it still reeks.

    I finally found the culprit today. A small amount of milkshake was trapped in a small metal divot under the seat…complete with mold and other living organisms.

    I hope to god the odor doesn’t come back or we might have to load the car up with air fresheners and trade it in real fast. :D

    Jareds last blog post..An Ass Kickin’ Saturday

  60. Gross Stuff Found in Carson 20 Aug 2008 at

    [...] and I asked for gross car stories last week.  I expected rotten milk stories.  I expected spilled drink stories.  I figured [...]