My oldest son was born in the spring of 1998. When he was just four months old, his father gathered him in his arms, burrowed into the couch, and said, “Finally. Someone will watch the Olympics with me.” It didn’t matter what ass-backwards hour of the night that child woke up; his father was right there, bottle in one hand, remote control in the other.
I strongly encourage all you wives of athletes to time your pregnancies in accordance with the Olympic schedule.
My husband was a competitive swimmer for the majority of his life. When I say that he was a competitive swimmer, I don’t just mean that he liked to race. I mean that he was one of the best swimmers around when he was doing it. He flew all over the damn country to train. He was courted by god knows how many universities. He was contracted by the US to coach a swim team in South Korea. He almost, ALMOST, qualified for the Olympic team tryouts countless times. I have binder on top of binder full of newspaper clippings featuring him, and box on box of medals in my basement. He still holds records in his hometown swim club.
I was not a competitive swimmer growing up. I was not a competitive anything growing up, honestly. Last time I checked, proselytizing wasn’t was Olympic sport, but you never know. If speed-walking counts, maybe they’re open to other ideas. Proselytizing is way harder than speed walking anyway.
Needless to say, the Olympics mean different things to The Donor and I, but we are united in the fact that we are both totally useless around here for two weeks solid, every even year. It means something in our house, something more than just entertainment. It means possibilities, the almost.
The almost is the hardest thing in the world to let go, if you ask me.
He watches the Olympics and he critiques strokes, he admires speed that was unheard of 15 years ago when he was swimming; he, I think, takes a little bit of pride in his sport, because he feels like he was a part of all that, that it’s still his.
I watch it and I imagine every single one of my kids on that screen, on those starting blocks, on those balance beams. I dream of the legacies. My family has nothing but bad teeth and debt to pass from one generation to the next. Except my father, who is arguably the greatest guitarist you’ve never heard of, and my aunt, who did great things in science and then chopped her head off one fall day, so no one really remembers the accomplishments anymore, no one in my family has ever really done anything. No one excelled, no one sacrificed, no one dedicated themselves and pushed towards anything. THAT is not the legacy I want to pass down.
I’ve never seen my husband swim like he did back then, but I’ve seen him splash around in the pool from time to time, and I’ll tell you something; some people are just born to do things. Sometimes, it’s painfully obvious. I hope for my children that they find that thing, that one thing they’re amazing at. I would be thrilled if that one thing was math, or science, or auto repair, so long as it fulfills them, but in all honestly, I want it to be a sport. They are athletes. It’s in them. You don’t have the dad they do and not be an athlete. We both go to great lengths to never, ever push our kids, but deep deep down where they can’t see, I want it so badly for them, I can taste it.
So, for two weeks, I watch. I study technique, I look at form, I listen to strategy. I call my kids in from playing when the men get on the horse or the girls step up to the balance beams. I pull them into me when the guys climb up on their starting blocks and pull their goggles down, we scream together every time the USA gets a medal, and we scream even harder every time we shatter another world record.
Because, in my house, we’re doing it together, those people on the TV and us. In my house, in my heart, those Olympians are blazing trails that my kids will walk someday, too.
PS: If you made it through that, go read this. It’s much better.
Tagged with: men's swimming, olympics 2008
SingleParentDad
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 7:57I’m not a great fan of The Olympics. But reading your post really re-affirms why. The athlete, and husband, you explain, the proud box of cut outs, travelling here there and everywhere. That’s what it should be about, but today we the NBA All-stars, footballers like Ronaldhino, and here in England, a drug cheat tried to legally force his appearance at the games. The ethos has gone for me.
Oh, and the fact that I am a rubbish athlete, no stamina, no great speed. Can play football, hockey and cricket to a semi-decent standard, but not Olympic, or should I now say, professional, standard.
Enjoy the rest of the games, you can have my seat.
SingleParentDads last blog post..Milli Yang Peiyi
tiff
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 10:03I understand that drive. My mother was invited to Russia to be a ballerina and my Grandmother stopped her. It was her almost. I danced my way through childhood, hoping to live the dream she could never have. Of course, being more like a dancing hippo than a graceful swan, it was never to be. Now, quietly, I watch my long legged beauties as they dance their way through their own childhoods and I wonder, will one of them make it?
I would never push but they have the dance in their blood and the passion was there from that first step. maybe just maybe it will be one of them to finally live the dream.
flickrlovr
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 11:35What a wonderful post Shan. My family has never been a big Olympics watching family, probably due to the fact that we’ve never had cable…but seriously, we’re so un-athletic, and sometimes, I sort of wish that was different. I hope I don’t push my kids into sports someday, just to make sure they don’t ‘end up like me’ (the only one not knowing how to play baseball or the only one who needs to be shown how to spike a volleyball). I have zero hand-eye coordination. It’s sad. But I do really enjoy the swimming. It’s such a graceful sport. And maybe I like it so much because it’s the only one I really have a connection to-I swam on a swim team and did synchronized swimming for about 4 years when I was younger and loved it, except for the diving part-the water would always get up my nose.
flickrlovrs last blog post..10 Uninteresting Things About Me
moo
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 12:21As a past competitive dancer, I find I do the same thing as your husband, but with dance I see both live and on TV. An old friend of mine, a competitive diver, does the same thing for diving.
It’s hard to actually enjoy what you are watching in these cases, because you can’t see the gestalt of the thing … you are too focused on the mistakes, on the wonderfulness, on the technique.
I too hope my children find something they LOVE, something they are so good at, it takes my breath away. I think every parent wants that, wants the whole world to know just how special their child is.
moos last blog post..literary meme
Robina
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 12:44I just turned 44 and I still don’t know what I’m good at, aside from cleaning mind you.
But yea, I love watching the olympics. And I cried with Phelps mother did because I can’t imagine the pride in that woman. The feeling a parent has when their child becomes the best, in the WORLD!!! It must just be amazing.
Robinas last blog post..Kindergarten – a new chapter in life
calicobebop
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 12:54I haven’t been watching much of the Olympics this year, but I remember loving it as a child. Though I was never athletically inclined, I’m sure every kid dreams of being an Olympian and standing proud on that podium! It’s important to have goals and it’s wonderful that you support them.
calicobebops last blog post..Three Things
CarolynOnline
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 12:56Whoa… Can we go back to the aunt chopping her head off?
CarolynOnlines last blog post..School = happy mom.
Sunshine
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 13:12I watch both summer and winter games faithfully. I love it all.
All my kids were born the year of an Olympics, two summer games babies and two winter games babies.
My oldest son was born in 96 – the games in Atlanta. I have pictures of him wearing all the patriotic baby clothing (he was five months old and incredibly chubby) I could find.
Anyway, they (Team USA) made a good showing that year, no doubt because of me and my red, white, and blue fat baby.
Sunshines last blog post..Celebrity Lookalike Contest!
DeuceMom
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 13:18Thanks for the post and the link to Backpacking Dad. DeuceDad and I were both high school swimmers and are just in awe of the atheletes accomplishments. And to think of all those early-morning drop offs? The parents should get an honorary gold too!
DeuceMoms last blog post..Olympic Parenting
Kat
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 13:19Great post, girl…are you sure we aren’t related because bad debt and teeth(braces twice) are two of the finer things that get passed down…
Kats last blog post..Broken HOO-HA
rachel
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 13:24Wow. Cool for hubs and you.
For some reason I am riveted by the Olympics this year.
Well, everything but beach volleyball and Equestrian, that just can’t hold my attention.
rachels last blog post..What A Difference a Year Makes
Hockeyman
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 14:00The almost is indeed the hardest to ever let go of. When I was a few years younger, I actually got a host at professional hockey. A minor league team signed me to a tryout agreement and everything. I knew I had to work harder than most as I was an unknown from Orlando, FL and no major prior experience. I went to the pre-training camp workouts for 3 days of the best hockey I’ve ever been faced with as a goalie. The day before camp started, I got the call that I was cut from camp because there was no room left now that some goalies from a higher pro league were coming in and taking my spot. That season, the team won the league cup and I will always wonder what that may have been like.
I love the Olympics, but prefer winter to summer. Still, I watch all of it wondering which event I may be able to someday sneak in and compete. The athlete in us never dies.
Hockeymans last blog post..Where is that off switch?
Nell
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 14:26Nicely said. I share that excitement of Olympic hope. I want my boys to find their calling too. I never found mine (except, perhaps, for being thier mother.) or maybe just haven’t found it yet.
Nells last blog post..Potato Chip Economics
Kori
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 14:40I loved this post not because of the Olympics, but because of what you wrote about your kids, wanting them to find the one thing they are good at, that fulfills them. This is beautifully written and I just love you.
Koris last blog post..Crime Update
the planet of janet
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 15:00i love the family aspect of your olympic traditions. it’s a beautiful thing.
the planet of janets last blog post..My girl’s got spunk. Spunk, I say!
maggie, dammit
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 15:08I always find the Olympics annoying until I accidentally find myself stuck watching them and then… I absolutely cannot look away. Five hours later I peel my bleeding eyeballs from the technicolor screen.
To have that little extra magic in your case must be absolutely intoxicating.
Gnilleps
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 15:24Yeah my current wife really likes the Olympics, she was a gymnast for years. I have never really gotten into the Olympics, but I have the athleticism of four-layer Peanut butter and Jelly sandwich, so I guess I don’t get it, no frame of reference.
I think it would be fun to have a kid that excelled in sports. But it’s like when I had my first child and I was praying for a girl (now I know the folly in that) and got a boy, at that moment I realized I did not really want a girl, I wanted a baby. I am going to be super pleased if they just grow up to be happy… so many of us didn’t.
Diane
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 15:37I love the Olympics, but I haven’t watched hardly more than two minutes until last night. What bugs me is the constant medal count, just getting to the Olympics is quite a feat in itself and the vast majority of the athletes don’t win anything.
Been watching mostly the swimming events and I want to catch the volleyball matches.
Didn’t know hubby was talented in swimming. Good for him. Does he swim much now?
Dianes last blog post..John Edwards
Matt
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 15:40Whoa, the hubby is a stud, huh? I have always envied swimmers man. I played baseball for a long, long time and, well, you’ve seen some of their bodies, right? Hmmm. The only way you can get me in the pool is by jamming a can of Miller Lite in a beer floatie from the Skymall catalog and cranking up some Buffet.
Seriously though, I love the Olympics for that same reason. It brings out the competitive spirit in us all. In a positive and respectful way. When I think about that 4×100 IM I still get cold chills. I, too want my daughter to excel in something as those athletes do. But, like you said about your husband and like my wife said about Phelps last night…some people are just BORN to do what they do. I would never discredit Michael Phelps’ dedication to his sport or his rigorous training schedule, but the kid’s got genetics on his side too, lets admit it.
The trick is to allow your kid to find that niche for themselves, and I believe the way to do that is to expose them to as many activities and sports as possible, watching closely to see not only where they excel, but what they enjoy. Not so easy.
Oh yeah. I head to google “Proselytizing”. Show off.
Matts last blog post..Calling All Preemies!
Kristy - Where's My Damn Answer
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 15:47I’m with you – I LOVE the Olympics. Each night we sit as a family and watch on the edge of our seat. My son (who’s very athletic at 13 yrs old) says that he knows if he was there competing that I’d be crying with pride. I say, “hell yeah I would – I cry for people I don’t even know NOW … if you were up there, I’d be a mess”. When Michael Phelp’s Mom wiped the tear from her cheek, I did too … in solidarity support as a Mom. I’m proud FOR them all :-D
Go USA!!
VegasDad
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 15:54We’re the same way in our house. Although he’s only two, we’re helping our son hone his skills and find “his sport.” Will it be swimming or golf or soccer? Who knows, but I’m sure will find the right one in the coming years.
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 15:59Nice post. My son is also a natural athlete and it would be awesome if he went that route and made something out of it. But he’s only 6, so for now I hope he just really get huge amounts of joy from playing sports in the next 10 years! (And he is loving watching the Olympics!)
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritass last blog post..The Last Days of Summer
daysgoby
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 16:00This was beautiful. I’ve never gotten over that heart-stopping knot-in-the-neck breathless feeling when the athletes perform.
daysgobys last blog post..and the rain came pouring down, down
Marti
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 16:02So um, I ma not really great at anything.
I love to read and shop. Wait I am an AWESOME shopper! I can find some fantastic deals. Does that count?
I hope my kid finds something he loves. I really do.
April
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 16:20I wanted to get into it this year, but I swear, every time I turned on the TV this weekend, stupid W was hogging the show from the Olympians. He ruins everything for me.
Aprils last blog post..Another Education Rant
Phil
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 16:39I’m enjoying watching the Olympics with my kids, although my daughter can’t make it through more than an hour before falling asleep. My son is ten, and this is the first time he’s paid attention to The Games. He’s in awe of Michael Phelps. And he was the first in our house to point out that the Chinese female gymnasts weren’t that much older than he is. “Why are they so young when everyone else is old?” he asked.
Phils last blog post..Own Up And Be A Dad
Kate
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 16:39So are you rooting for the Americans or the Canadians? :)
Kates last blog post..Itty Bitty
Mary Beth
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 17:32We feel the same way in my house (only minus the whole competitive swimming bit). We cheer and hold our breath for the Americans, although there are times when another country is hands-down better than everyone else, and then it’s nice to remember that the world isn’t made up of ONLY Americans. That there are others who excel in grace and beauty also. Except for swimming cause we are totally kicking ass in swimming!
Mary Beths last blog post..HOW LONG BEFORE THE REVOLT HAPPENS
ali
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 17:36i can’t wait to discover what each of my kids ‘thing’ is.
i think for Emily know it will be hip hop or dance-related.
but with the other two, the sky is still the limit!!!
:)
alis last blog post..not a soccer mom
just beth
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 17:40my god, ME TOO. I swam in high school, I wasn’t very good or anything, but I find myself absolutley ENTRANCED this Olympics. I’ve stayed up waaay too late to scream at Michael Phelps to ‘KICK!! KICK!!’ like he needs me.
And I hope my kids will find their sport, whatever it is.
thanks for this, I loved it.
xo
b.
just beths last blog post..Herbivore, carnivore, omnivore and…
RockyCat
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 17:47I’m with CarolynOnline ……… your aunt chopped her head off?? Whaaaaat??
RockyCats last blog post..Well Okay Then!
Chris Cactus
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 18:32I’m 100% addicted to the Olympics. When they’re over, I expect to be in a treatment program.
Chris Cactuss last blog post..What The Elf
slackermommy
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 18:57First off, I’m embarrassed to admit that I had to look up the definition of proselytizing. Secondly, when are you going to write the post about your aunt chopping her head off? Lastly, I would also love my kids to be athletes but so far it’s not looking too promising.
slackermommys last blog post..Loser Christmas
skiplovey
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 21:19I love the olympics too. and this time watching it, seriously now that we’ve got a kid and I see the moms and dads in the stands I can’t help but think “my god maybe one day…” that’s a colossally huge maybe but still… and it’s such a crazy feeling to have, all the potential in the world, y’know?
ms picket to you
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 21:55I’ve had several dreams in which I am in fact an Olympic athlete. I’ve been diving, swimming, balance beaming. I never know if I actually win the gold, but I do not drown or fall off, which is good I think. My kids want to know when/how they can be the Olympics. I tell them after a lot of hard work. And they say no problem. And I like it.
patty
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 21:56I hope your husband finds his way back to the pool some day. Swimming is like the mob – once you’re in, you’re in. I found my way back twice (so far) in my adulthood and it makes me happy like few other things. Well, except for this wild, bleeding ear infection I’m currently sporting. That doesn’t make me happy in the least.
pattys last blog post..wash. rinse. bleed. repeat.
Loralee
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 21:59Mine was vocal instead of athletics.
I walked away from the possibilities of an MFA at Yale and a professional career to raise my kids. I knew it was right but damn….Difficult.
I was going to do the Young Artist Metrapolitan Opera Auditions and then Matthew died. So? I have come to peace that it just isn’t in the cards for me and I perform when and where I can.
Still…Regrets can totally haunt you.
Loralees last blog post..This is not your mother’s back-to-school post.
Kay
Wednesday, 13 August, 2008 at 22:07I am neither sports oriented or competitive but I admire and understand those that are!
Honestly my favorite Summer Olympic sport is swimming and not just because of Michael Phelp’s package either. ;) NO seriously I promise. ;)
Kays last blog post..WTF Nut?
Shannon
Thursday, 14 August, 2008 at 0:07I love the Olympics too, but I’m with Hockeyman, I prefer Winter to Summer. I get really addicted to the winter Olympics, I just can’t stop watching. I’ve even been known to be lame enough to wear one of the Olympic jerseys while I watch. Since we (Canada) tend to win more medals at the winter games (meaning, at least a FEW, unlike this summer’s games . . . sigh) I get a lot more jazzed up. But the summer games are really fun to watch, and I get to see a lot of sports to which I normally don’t pay attention . . . outside of hockey season!
Shannons last blog post..The Three Things Head East – Part 2
Tara R.
Thursday, 14 August, 2008 at 0:38One day it will be you in the stands, cheering your kids on like Michael Phelps’ mom, watching them shatter world records. Loved this post, made me all patriotic feeling.
Tara R.s last blog post..Random Wednesday ~ anger
abunslife
Thursday, 14 August, 2008 at 1:43My six year old son is LOVING watching every event and is talking about what he would like to try out, what lessons he wants to take, what he thinks he could get a medal in some day…..We had our daughter right in the middle of the summer Olympics the last time around and it was perfect….we didn’t miss a thing since we were up anyway! There was actually something on other than info-mercials!
Kimmelin
Thursday, 14 August, 2008 at 3:18Beautiful post.
As I was driving home from Target tonight, trunk of the car fulll of school supplies, and with my 5 1/2-year-old daughter chit-chatting away in the back seat about the Harry Potter-length books she assumes she’ll be reading by the end of kindergarten, I couldn’t help but figure she was headed one place and one place only: to genius land. Isn’t it wonderful that we, as parents, see all the potential in the world in our children; whether in athletics, academia, musical talent, or the like? If only they could always see their own potential.
Kimmelins last blog post..I Have Seen Beauty…
Leslie Dillinger
Thursday, 14 August, 2008 at 4:05Yeah, I’m into the Olympics this year and I haven’t been in the past several years. It’s fun to watch them–I forgot how emotional about them I get! The swimming and the gymnastics are my favorite, of course.
Leslie Dillingers last blog post..
Jack
Thursday, 14 August, 2008 at 5:08I used to swim competitively. I was good, but not great. I used to have one of the fastest starts, just exploded off of the blocks. Sometimes I miss that feeling, that surge of adrenaline I used to get when I was racing.
I’d love to say that I was almost good enough to make the Olympics, but that’d be a lie. But for a time I was good enough and there is something satisfying about that.
Jacks last blog post..Name A Song That Makes You Cry
Qweenie
Thursday, 14 August, 2008 at 5:12So I assume I’m not the only who cried with Mama Phelps when little Mikey won his 11th gold??
It’s so cool that your hubby has that kind of history to pass on….
Qweenies last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
Mrs. Schmitty
Thursday, 14 August, 2008 at 14:02Wow, your hubby rocks! I know what you mean about the kids. We want them to be whatever they want to be….but secretly we want them to be the next Michael Phelps too.
Mrs. Schmittys last blog post..Proof That I Am A Reincarnated Adolescent Boy
amy
Friday, 15 August, 2008 at 16:09Awesome, we’re glued here as well. Emma started competitive swimming this year and def has the bug for it. I think she’s done quite exceptional for her first year. She of course is saying she’s going to Olympics one day and what a great dream to have. I always let her know she’ll have a leg up on the competition since she was born swimming. Literally, in the tub.
amys last blog post..Wanted to share…
Andrea
Friday, 15 August, 2008 at 21:53I know that feeling, even though I was a pretty competitive softball player as a girl, but nowhere near good enough for anything resembling the college level, let alone something Olympic.
But I really want to know more about what happened to your aunt and her chopping off her head. Wha?
Andreas last blog post..In Threes