Sep 02 2008
Denver DNC Recap: The Important Stuff Part One
It’s a super-fabulous sort of really good thing that my husband is leaving town for the next week, because I want a damn baby so bad I can taste it.
No, it’s not that I have my heart set on moving in to the nearest shoe, it’s just that I went to Denver last week and oh, no, you didn’t think I was going to talk about politics, did you? Nope. Food & babies, yo, food and babies.
Those of you who have been around for a while here know about Auntie N and Dunkie, and those of you who haven’t been, well, my sister - and - brother - in - law - by - proxy - or - something - like - that just recently adopted a little baby girl from Vietnam, who just turned one. I got to meet her on Friday, and dag, yo. That kid is totally freaking awesome. I am fairly sure she speaks better English than I do, after only 3 months in America. She has these great big black eyes that are dewy like New England mornings and the daintiest little fingertips you’ve ever seen. She spent the better part of 2 hours checking me out from a reasonably safe distance, and once I had the Seal of Approval (read; little baby head nod and wink, I swear to god on high) we totally hung out. We put spit smears all over a great big restaurant mirror. We repeatedly got in the way of the worst two waiters in the history of waiterdom, because nobody messes with my niece’s daddy’s Belvedere and Tonic, NOBODY. We cooed over the tiny little baby in the corner, and admired his shoes, and I think we counted to two or something. It was Epic.
And then I hung out with LurkerPeg, who is, some of you know, the best lurker in the galaxy. In fact, you probably don’t know it…she’s that good. Anyway, when I had 3of3, LurkerPeg made some off-the-cuff remark to her husband about how cute 3of3 was and how much she’d like to have another eittle wittle baby. Famous. Last. Words. LurkerPeg is the proud momma of a 15 year old, a 12 year old, and an almost - but- not - quite - one year old who kind of made me want to die, what with the giggles and the nibbles and the So Big!’s and the scootchy little crawling thing that babies only do for, like, a second, but should do much longer simply due to the sheer cuteness of the whole thing. I almost shoved her in my suitcase, but I was fresh out of Cheerios.
And then I went to visit Hot Gay Russell, and Hot Gay Russell is making his triumpant return to my blog today. Never heard of him before? That’s because I had to stop talking about him on the internet a while back, and thank god that’s over. See, he too was adopting overseas, and dear lord, I have never had a nightmare as bad as that adoption was for Hot Gay Russell. I’m still sketchy about going into details, so I’ll skip them and get to the heart of the matter which is a 20 month old linebacker-sized dark skinned baby boy with the best hair I’ve ever seen on any man ever. He’s only been home for a little over a week, and so he was more or less superglued to his daddy’s hips (as in, the hips of his two, individual fathers, who should either be daddy’s or daddies, but I am tired. Also, blond) but after a little buttering up and some flashing of my dangly necklaces, he saw fit to grace me with a snuggle on the couch.
God damn it, I think my ovaries imploded right then and there.
I promise you that I’m not kidding when I tell you that I went up one full cup size on this trip. And I’m craving broccoli and peanut butter. My poor, unsued uterus is all, “Hook a sista up, yo!” and the rest of me, and the 4 other people in this house are all, “Shut the fuck up, moron.”
But, seriously, come on, if aphids can reproduce asexually, I’ve got to be able to figure it out.
Comments close after 5 days. Because Spam sucks. 25 Comments to “Denver DNC Recap: The Important Stuff Part One”
When my ovaries glow, my family tells them the to STFU.
I had such a complicated pregnancy with my little Max. The family took a vote and decided that we would have to adopt in the future if we felt the need for an addition. They out-voted me, to be honest. But that’s only because of that damn amnesia thing that happens post-pregnancy. I forgot how hellish the 9 weeks of bed rest, the gestational diabetes and 5 weeks premature delivery were. Apparently, my family so. didn’t. forget.
My husband got a vasectomy. If you figure out the whole asexual reproduction, let me know :)
Ashlie- MommyCosms last blog post..Grammy and Kraft
Um, I just spewed my tea all over my screen. Through my nose. From laughing so hard.
ohmommys last blog post..The post I wasn’t going to post.
awwwwww … there is NOTHING like baby chompableishingness (shut up, it’s a word) to make ovaries start panting to make MORE cuteness in the world.
which is how, pretty much, I got to be knocked up in the first place.
you know, though … the best part about all those babies? They go home with their parents at the end of the visit … and you get to sleep the whole night uninterrupted. THAT does not have a price.
moos last blog post..photo challenge, moody & bright
Just spend a lot of time with a bunch of preggie girls; you’ll pick it up through osmosis. I once spent three days in a storage trunk (on a ninja mission, of course) at a preggie girl weekend sleepover bash…my bladder never felt so small in all my life. Had I stayed any longer, surely I would have become one of them.
Sleep Deprivation Ninjas last blog post..Burbles
OOO I held a one week old last week. There is nothing better then a new baby..See I am helping, Right??
KD @ A Bit Squirrellys last blog post..We Almost Lost Her Yesterday
STOP! Don’t do it!
Read this post in a month and you’ll be all like what the hell was I thinking.
Hi, I stumbled across your blog. Wow, I have never had that feeling of ovaries imploding. I really can’t relate to the feeling. And needless to say I don’t have any children. We’re all so different and that’s what makes us interesting, I guess.
BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA! Some people DO have four kids, you know. :D
Fawns last blog post..Thank goodness for the French
And then? Then you can run for vice president!
ms picket to yous last blog post..Lost and Found
I’m 29 weeks pregnant and my husband was already like “we could adopt a baby girl” the other day while we were driving. Does he have ovaries too?!?! So funny.
I totally get the babysquee though. And I’m so glad you had fun.
Marias last blog post..celebrating stillness
My poor, unsued uterus is all, “Hook a sista up, yo!” and the rest of me, and the 4 other people in this house are all, “Shut the fuck up, moron.”
BWHAHAHAHA! Which is exactly the conversation my uterus and my husband have pretty routinely, only without the swearing because he’s a quiet one like that. Problem is, on days when the kids won’t listen to me, I can’t even believe that I imagine a third, and on other days, I can’t even believe I could live without a third.
PS You can’t be veep till 1of3 knocks up some girl, so you still have a while…
MommyTimes last blog post..Life in the 21st Century
I have been thinking about your post all day. I am trying to pre-occupy my mind so I don’t think about having a kid in kindergarten. Anywho. I forgot to tell you why I laughed so hard this morning while reading this post.
“Shut the fuck up, moron.”
I just packed the last of my baby things for my BF who is newly prego and had a talk with my ovaries too. What I love about reading your posts now, after meeting you, is that I can hear you. Have I told you that before.
Okay. Enough rambling. In 42 minutes my son will be home. I should start knitting, yo. This has been a LONG day.
ohmommys last blog post..The post I wasn’t going to post.
“I promise you that I’m not kidding when I tell you that I went up one full cup size on this trip.”
ha ha ha!
Aimee Greeblemonkeys last blog post..September Greeblemix Contest
So many fabulous lines in this! Holy crap woman!
The Uterus, The Cup size… Thank you for the fantastic giggles!! This is soooo true.
rachels last blog post..It’s a Double Helping of Mouthwatering Monday
Ooooooh, who cares about politics, anyway?!
Lindss last blog post..Manic Monday #132 (my #2)
With all the babies about, I am so freaking glad I am pregnant already.
Although, if I remember you talking about your fertility, you really ought to make sure your hubby doesn’t look at you in the wrong (right?) way before he leaves…
Veronicas last blog post..When things start to feel the same
Babies and food are really what life’s all about, right?
Good times. Good times. Maybe you and Hubs should sleep in separate rooms (er, separate continents) until Baby Season is over. Just sayin’.
Not that I wouldn’t love a little 4of3, but the rest of your family might not enjoy it so much.
;)
flickrlovrs last blog post..Apology Of The Year, Me Thinks
You know I’d inseminate you, but I think that maybe it’s actually biologically impossible. I had my tubes tied.
Rees last blog post..Later - Past in Polaroids 4
A whole cup size, huh? Sounds like my belly when I walk by the dessert bar.
NukeDads last blog post..Doing Long Division In The Bread Aisle
I’ll do it if you’ll do it. ;)
Latte Mommys last blog post..You’ve Got to Be Kidding Me
I’m wondering if you need me to mail Isobel to you, to convince Daddy J? Or I can just drop her off at work.
Zoeyjanes last blog post..Random Smoking Thoughts #2
No comment. Because I am so there. I am hearing the old clock ticking, I am ovulating TODAY, and by God, I want a little girl baby so bad I can taste it. Not really, but yeah. Even though I don’t really want another kid. Not so much.
Koris last blog post..Save Money, Live Better My Ass!
Came out of the Lurkosphere to tell you that hubby has transitioned our “Sooo Big!” to “Touchdown!” Either way it’s still cute, I s’pose. Sooo glad we got to see you. (((hug)))
Taste it eh? Eaten many babies have we?
I would SO like to be an aphid.
Seriously.
I guess the being eaten by large birds would suck a bit but the whole part about not needing another aphid to produce a baby aphid, that totally takes away from the negative.
tiffs last blog post..Just when you were losing hope with humanity…