I live in Vancouver, which is a most excellent city nestled around the Pacific Ocean. Right over there <— just a little are Japan, China and Russia. We’re not too far away from the Bering Sea, which is home to the greatest tv show in the history of television. Our port sees close to 1 million cruise ship travelers at its docks every year. You can walk down the street and hear more languages being spoken at any one time than you knew existed. It’s a cool place to live.
You can’t have all those different people crammed into one tiny little area of a country and not have some really good food. We have awesome food here. The grocery stores have fresh fish and lobster tanks, just like they did back east when I was a kid. We have produce out the yin-yang. We have sushi; like, real sushi. Sushi like I’d never seen in Denver. We have actual Thai Thai food, real Chinese Chinese food, authentic Japanese Japanese food (which I never knew was any different from Chinese food, honestly. Just call me Wonder Bread), and the best part of all is that we have real Indian Indian food. We also have the world’s best cream puffs. No, I’m not exaggerating.
You’d think with all of this amazing, diverse, intense cuisine, someone could figure out how to make a decent pot of green chili. You’d think someone would have HEARD of a decent pot of green chili.
Lies.
I’ve seen green chili in jars in the Ethnic Foods aisle at the grocery store (and if you don’t think we have the best ethnic food aisles in the whole wide world, you’d be sadly mistaken). It’s really green. Kermit green. Jello green. It doesn’t have any pork in it. It doesn’t appear to have any chili in it. I am too afraid of it to buy it. We’ve gone out for “mexican” here, and you would never know that Mexico is somewhere you could actually walk to from here, given the right shoes and spare time. Mexico seems as remote a country as Zimbabwe, and the cuisine about as accessible as bottled water from Mars.
What does this have to do with Denver? Oh, nothing, except that Denver has some pretty kick ass green chili. It’s not The Frontier, mind you, but it really doesn’t suck at all. The diner I worked at for far too many years has this green chili recipe that was given to them by the mother of one of the first cooks there. That mother lives IN MEXICO. And has forever. It’s her family recipe, and it’s better than chocolate dipped sex.
I went home for 3 days and managed to make every meal I ate include a large amount of green chili. There were hash browns drowned in green chili, humongous burritos and enchiladas smothered in it, and huevos rancheros made with ohmygodhomemade refried beans and, you guessed it, green chili. With monstrous chunks of pork in it. I ate nothing that didn’t come smothered.
I can’t even begin to describe to you how bad I probably still smell, and those Pepto pills I had to buy on my way to the airport are making for a great paper-weight right now. And I am totally going through withdrawls, because god know how long it will be before I get to go back and eat some decent Mexican food.
Thank god I can drown my sorrows in curried anything.
Tagged with: No Green Chili in Vancouver Makes Jack a Dull Boy
Latte Mommy
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 8:43My dear, you are not Wonder Bread. *I* am Wonder Bread. Green chili? Never heard of it. *sigh*
Latte Mommys last blog post..You’ve Got to Be Kidding Me
apathy lounge
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 8:51If you lived here in Texas you could eat Mexican food every single day of your life. I’m just saying.
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Sleep Deprivation Ninja
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 8:55Ah, you live in Vancouver! I’m starting to feel left out. Perhaps we will move there after all.
My wife is from New Mexico. She has the same problem with finding green chili.
Sleep Deprivation Ninjas last blog post..Product Review [unpaid]: Ninja Pen
Mike Marshall
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 9:01Hey Lady!! No shortage of Mexican Mexican food here……………..I love it! Peace, Mike.
BusyDad
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 9:06Get you guys’ butt down here. If there’s anything positive I can say about LA, it’s “any ethnic food anytime” – even green chili I bet. And if not, it’s a lot shorter a walk to Mexico.
I LOVE creampuffs.
BusyDads last blog post..Sooo Money
Carrie
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 9:59That’s how it is here in DC! We can get great ethnic food of any variety, but go to a Mexican restaurant and be prepared to eat ground beef with corn. Ugh. The best Mexican place I’ve found out here is Chevy’s. How sad is that?
Now I need some green chili . . . mmmmm. . . guess I better get to cooking.
One Moms Opinion
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 10:26Love Mexican and Thai food, but I’m not a fan of green chili. I can’t imagine eating all of that over three days. My stomach would be in knots and I’d be sick for a week.
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Punditdad
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 10:49Vancouver is the paradise of the north. It’s the only place where I have visited a hotel, bowling alley, pub, strip club, fast food joint all in one facility. Appropriately, it was called the Blue Boy. Canadians are sick, sick sick. But a good kind of sick.
Aimee Greeblemonkey
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 11:12Will you still be my friend when I tell you I can’t handle even the teensiest amount of green chili?
I am such a wuss.
I’ll swap our green chili for your sushi any day.
Aimee Greeblemonkeys last blog post..Bubble Bowl
Audubon Ron
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 11:18Yo, green chili butt, old people talk about food when they travel. It’s an hour after lunch on vacation in FLA-rada and Harriet says to Harold, “HAR-old, what do you WANT fa DIN-na?”
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Audubon Ron
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 11:21p.s. Why did you go to Denver for a D and C? Don’t they have docs in Vancouver who for a small fee would be willing to scrap your uterus? I’m just say’in.
Audubon Rons last blog post..Hurricane Update (Between Midnight and Day)
tracey
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 11:28Mmmmm… chili…. Living in Chicago suburbs, we have a fairly high Mexican population which results in some awesome Mom and Pop Mexican food restaurants. Shredded tongue burritos, green gooey sauce that’ll burn your skin… yummy…
traceys last blog post..A woman/Mommy in the White House?
Marge
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 11:43We love your cafe. Homer is gonna have a fit when he finds out they have green chile and he’s never tried it. He’s THE connoisseur of the stuff. Makes a mean pot of it himself.
Marges last blog post..Independent Thought
punk rock mom
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 12:17Dude you haven’t tasted green chili until you have real true New Mexico green chili!
punk rock moms last blog post..Fly My Little Butterfly
punk rock mom
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 12:17I am thinking…… ROAD TRIP! Get you ass down here and we will hit the road all Thelma and Louise style!
punk rock moms last blog post..Fly My Little Butterfly
Mike Marshall
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 12:29Hey Lady! Just came back in from outside work…………………………I can see pinche fucking Mexico! LOL! Peace, Mike.
Linds
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 13:16I had the best Mexican food of my life in Denver… Now I’ve got a *serious* craving!
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matt
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 13:25That is so WEIRD! I used to have three friends back at home that I referred to as Monsterous Chunks of Pork. They ate a lot.
You want me to mail you a Meximelt or a Crunch Wrap Supreme or something?
Best enchiladas in the world? Pink Taco in the Las Vegas Hard Rock.
matts last blog post..The Preemie Adventure – Jennifer
diamond dave
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 13:37Dammit!! Your blog ate my comment. Some error message about a server reset. One more time…
Best sushi in Vancouver? Have to come by and try it out. Ditto for the Japanese, Chinese, American knees (couldn’t resist), and Thai cuisine. I love trying ethnic foods, and not the Americanized fast food type.
Green chili? Never heard of it. Hope it doesn’t look like pea soup. Sounds gross on the surface, but bulk it up just right and I’ll probably love it.
And we have to wait a whole year for a new season of The Deadliest Catch. Waaaah!
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molly
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 13:55Let’s go to Albuquerque. You once drove 2,000 miles for a damn cheesesteak. I call a roadtrip for Frontier. Seriously, woman, you’ve created a craving.
I have good green chili here, but shit, now I want GREAT green chili.
Damn you.
mollys last blog post..Three year blog-aversary
molly
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 13:57Oh, and also? Your just jealous of us mexico touchers.
mollys last blog post..Three year blog-aversary
Kori
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 14:29I am pretty sure I can make you a few jars of kick ass green chile and send it to you-since we all love it here, too. Along with homemade tortillas and refried beans. The trick is in the lard, baby.
Koris last blog post..Save Money, Live Better My Ass!
NukeDad
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 15:55You have some very wise readers. The best chile in the world does in fact come from New Mexico. Checkout this link: http://www.eskimo.com/~sockeye/nm/lamesachope.html
We used to eat there at least once every couple of weeks or so; when we could get a seat. Chope used to bring fresh chile’s from his family’s farm to our house every fall. We’d sit on the back porch and listen to Chope and my Dad tell stories and roast chile’s all afternoon. This is one place you HAVE to eat at before you die.
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Bonnie
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 17:41Oh, Mr. Lady…
I feel your pain up here in New England!!!
I actually end up making my own damn green chili up here in the land of cod and bean.
Takes all day, but mmmmm….
I’m so jealous you got to see my little lurkerQ.
Beth
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 19:46Hard to get real Mexican here too, but we have lots of Peruvian.
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janethesane
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 20:06After a vacation like that I would have to wear yoga pants, the fat yoga pants, because nothing fit anymore. And the gas. Oh my goodness. I loves me some Mexican food.
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Sherendipity
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 20:12You said, “Chocolate dipped sex”.
I’m stealing the awesome. You can’t stop me.
Jan
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 21:19Do I need to send you my family recipe for green chile? It’s authentic, yummy, and easy to make, especially if you have a crock pot.
LaskiGal
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 21:29Great, now I’m jealous and hungry.
Super.
I got a murky river and fried . . .well, fried everything.
Jealous. Yeah, I wouldn’t be either.
LaskiGals last blog post..A Harlequin Moment . . .
Megan
Wednesday, 3 September, 2008 at 21:39I barely made it past the Vancouver part. I am taking my first Canadian trip later this year to Vancouver! Food is my favorite way to vacation. I am taking suggestions on how to eat my way through Vancouver. I don’t know what cream puffs are but I can’t wait to find out!
Lori
Friday, 5 September, 2008 at 18:35Gotta tell you that we should get married. I heart Deadliest Catch too! You f***ing rock.
wrongshoes
Monday, 8 September, 2008 at 7:36I’m from Texas, and we have a lot of Mexican food here. But I’ve never heard of “green chili.” Is that the same as salsa verde? I love food.
We just got back from Dallas, and while we were there we went to an Indian restaurant. The food was fabulous and authentic, but I was shocked to notice that we were the only white folks there – everyone else was actually Indian.
I haven’t quite decided what that means. In Austin, there is always a mixture of races wherever you go.
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