This Week In...

This week, man. I tell yah.

Matt @ RedSparks totally won that t-shirt. And he’s having a sale in his preemie/baby store. Just sayin’.

We babysat yesterday. In fact, we’re babysitting every Thursday for the next 6 weeks. Which isn’t helping my uterus’ rampage on the ol’ brain. Turns out, my kid has some jealousy issues and I’m pretty sure that ifin’s we decided to go for four (shoot me for even thinking about it) that she’s eat that new baby while we slept.
The Donor came home this week from his Napa, golf, martini vacation conference for work. He lost his 8 billion dollar cell phone, and was gone over our 10th anniversary, and I made him suffer for these crimes by forcing him to get an iPhone. I’m the worst wife ever, I know; I don’t know how he goes on.
And he was missed. She sat right there for 2 hours the day he got home.

Speaking of worst somethings ever, after careful thought and serious negotiation, it was decided that I am a horrible daughter in law, and my mother in law is indeed staying with us, and I somehow ended up begging her to do it. Yes, she’s that good.
Not only am I impossible to deal with, I am irrationally cruel to her grandsons. I mean, I made them almost touch each other today.

But I let 1of3 keep that god-awful haircut, and do I get any credit for that? Hell to the no. (It was cute for exactly 31 hours, and then it grew 1/5 of an inch, and now he looks like a, well, a Jonas Brother or something. *shudder*)

$That\'s what 5th and 3rd grade look like.$

The baby, my last baby, the one who was supposed to be ittle wittle forever, starts motherfucking preschool on Tuesday.
The 8 year old told me he needed Clearasil, and then showed me the corner of his tiny, cute, little baby nose, and he does need Clearasil.
I have 6 days to get this house spotless before the mother in law gets here, and I’m hiring cleaners for the first time in my whole life. Just like haircuts, cookies and blowjobs; some things should just be left to the pros.
The Republican party has blow any chance, at all, of me ever ever ever voting for them, for, like, the rest of my life. I registered to vote as a ex-pat this week, and I registered as a Democrat. My fence-walking days are over.
Best. Song. Ever. (Worst video ever, but still.)

Punditdad

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 10:45

These guys might do better as a Killers tribute band at the Iowa State Fair. Destroying the blackberry really touched me though…break those chains boys!

DC Urban Dad

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 10:55

Good luck with the MIL. I got my FIL in this weekend and my parents next weekend.

Matt

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 11:08

I won I won I won! Somehow, it all seems worth it now. Thanks for the plug too, I owe you one ;).

PS: You have some of the cutest kids I have ever seen, really. Normally I’d make a joke about how crazy you are for thinking about a fourth, but I guess I can see it.

Once upon a time, Matt wrote..RedSparks Giveaway Winner!

Ashlie- MommyCosm

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 11:12

Best line EVER:
Just like haircuts, cookies and blowjobs; some things should just be left to the pros.

LMAO!

Once upon a time, Ashlie- MommyCosm wrote..Haiku Friday: MacBook

SciFi Dad

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 11:29

Wait, is that a band of hermaphrodites?

Once upon a time, SciFi Dad wrote..Equal

Everytime I see a boy nowadays I want to cut their hair and pull up their pants. Maybe having daughters isn’t so bad…
My third still hasn’t forgiven me for having the fourth. And your MIL may possibly be the best there ever was.

Once upon a time, amy wrote..Stocking Up

Natalie

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 11:37

You know which one of those bullet points made me go “squeeeeee”, right? Can you tell me what did it, privately?

And your kids are gorgeous regardless of haircut. Though, I know, when my child’s hair gets long, it drives me bonkers.

You are not a horrible daughter in law, I still think you should get that job. And then take a picture of your MIL’s face when you tell her. Mwahahahahaha! *wrings hands*.

Once upon a time, Natalie wrote..I Love You More

Maria

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 11:45

I love that song. Haven’t heard it in forever. I’m so old.
And don’t knock the Jonas Brothers. They’re kinda cute.

“Oooooooo this is an SOS don’t wanna second guess this is the bottom line it’s trrrrrruuueeeeeeee….I gave my all for you, now my heart’s in two, and I can’t find the other–

I should stop now, huh?

You know what? Before you judge me, listen to it ONE TIME and tell me if that shit’s not in your head for days.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JUvbJekM88

And tell me that the middle one isn’t hot. HOT.

You’re totally going to block my IP after this, aren’t you?

Jim

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 11:47

I’m pretty sure they are touching in the first pic. You had better retouch that one before they notice. Also, if you get a fourth, keep her coated in tabasco so she won’t get eaten.

Once upon a time, Jim wrote..Escaping the Mower

hubs

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 12:13

a 4th? you *are* crazy!

also, that was a good song, and a horrible video.

Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 12:37

May I have the contact info for the blow job pro you use?

Once upon a time, Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy wrote..Remembering 9/11

Kori

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 12:55

So since you are hiring pros for various things, what do you pay? I don’t clean though, so I suppose you shall have to pick one of the other areas in which to pay for my services. Keep me in mind. You porch is beautiful, by the way; perhaps you could contrive a way to keep she-who-shall-not-be-named out there? And damn-she IS good. I hate her too, just by proxy.

tracey

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 13:03

That hair? Please. My scraggly ragamuffins put your short-locked boy to shame. We’re talking about bringing a HEADBAND (maybe a sweatband…) to his fencing class because he can’t see through his HAIR when the helmet is on…

Once upon a time, tracey wrote..Montages make me feel better….

Jill

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 13:37

I was wondering about your ability to vote, but didn’t want to interrupt the roll you were on with all the back and forth. Good luck with your MIL!

Once upon a time, Jill wrote..These are a few of my favorite things

Secret Agent Mama

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 14:23

I’ve never heard that song. It’s jammin’ though.

I really wanted that shirt. But Matt deserved it.

Jenny

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 14:56

You, my dear, are PRICELESS. Sorry to shamelessly worship you. Im not usually such a kiss-ass, but I LOVE your blog! Keep on doing what you’re doing!

Oh… and the Little Miss all curled up in Daddy’s suitcase is. friggin’. precious.

TRACI

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 15:45

A) you’re hysterical for thinking to have more babies.
B)Your kids are gorgeous.
C)Mr.T broke the news a move to Canada is in the future. Toronto(sp?) I believe. Break it down for a girl.

Once upon a time, TRACI wrote..I don’t always get it right.

Jaina

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 16:01

Oi vey, she got you to beg her to stay? Why do I feel like your life might be something like Everybody Loves Raymond? (except thankfully she doesn’t live across the street)

Once upon a time, Jaina wrote..Prayer Request

LaskiGal

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 16:22

Really? She won, huh?

We’ll start a drive to raise funds for therapy sessions.

Once upon a time, LaskiGal wrote..Photo Story Friday: The Winds of Change Part II

andy

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 17:42

Actually, this is the best song ever:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDB9oCgVHGw&eurl

Gotta keep these things straight, you know.

Once upon a time, andy wrote..I Had This Great Idea for a Web 2.0 Site

the planet of janet

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 17:58

i must say those kids are sure cute.

you should really have another. *running away and hiding under the coffee table*

Once upon a time, the planet of janet wrote..Frere Z-man, DORMez-vous?

One Mom's Opinion

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 18:20

You need a drink…. You begged her to stay? At least you don’t have to clean for her visit. Hang in there. It all sounds like it’s going to unbearably awful.

Once upon a time, One Mom’s Opinion wrote..Family issues

MrsFwith4

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 18:39

Go for it! Have a fourth! How bad can it be?! Look at me…. Oh. You did. Maybe stick with three then….

And for the MIL visit (Have you read the Anne McCaffrey novel, Restoree? The MIL are the evil destroyers of the universe. They skin people for fun. Then eat them.), should I send wine, with a straw? Chocolate? Arsenic? Did you know that there is enough strychnine in one nutmeg to kill an adult human? Start baking!

Trina

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 18:41

That blow job line was priceless.

Once upon a time, Trina wrote..5 x 5

Tara R.

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 19:56

My offer still stands. Ike will even be gone.

Once upon a time, Tara R. wrote..Where your rights end…

Zoeyjane

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 19:59

Dood. What the frick? I would have cleaned your house for free. Just take Is. No, really, please. Just for like, a year? Just get us past the whininy, screaming, thrashing phase. And in return, I will totally mop and scrub things with toothbrushes. The other tasks you’d normally hand out to pros? Well, I don’t bake cookies.

Once upon a time, Zoeyjane wrote..On Starting Again. Again.

Latte Mommy

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 20:08

Perhaps taking care of your MIL is one of those things you should be hiring someone to do. Hmm?

Once upon a time, Latte Mommy wrote..Love Is In the Air

texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvana

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 20:19

You are so mean making them stand so close AND then taking a picture. Cruel and unusual. Fun song.

Alex

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 20:20

Your kids are adorable. What does it say about me that I have no idea what a Jonas Brother is?

Once upon a time, Alex wrote..Encounter

Dawn

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 20:24

I luff you. And the fact that you quoted Ghost in the title of the post about your aunt from oh, 3 weeks ago and I just now read it …. luff you more.

Once upon a time, Dawn wrote..Just a normal day

colleen

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 20:56

awww… jealousy in 3of3! so CUTE! Omg. I just want to keep her, and hg her and squeeze her and name her george. :P

Once upon a time, colleen wrote..Simple Syrup

Special K

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 21:15

You know I think your kids are just gorgeous and you know what 3 of 3 does to me anbut damn it I have my hands full now, no more babies, even if I could get some kind of freaky guarantee it would be a girl, I just can’t go back..not after this week with my 20 yr old! EEEK!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Once upon a time, Special K wrote..Cell Out Post Part 1

Megryansmom

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 21:20

Not only am I impossible to deal with, I am irrationally cruel to her grandsons. I mean, I made them almost touch each other today.

HA! That’s how I used to punish my kids when they were mean to each other. Made them sit on the floor facing each other and holding hands, then they had to say nice things to each other.

Once upon a time, Megryansmom wrote..Friday Five

ohmommy

Friday, 12 September, 2008 at 21:24

You have the MOST handsome boys.

How about I start teaching BOTH of my daughters how to cook and you teach YOUR boys how to clean and we can kill two birds with one stone?

Are we on?

Once upon a time, ohmommy wrote..I used to blame IT on my children…

sarah

Saturday, 13 September, 2008 at 1:28

First off. Abnormally cute kiddos you have! :)

I hated my mom for making me touch my sister.

LMAO at the blow job line.

Your crazy nutso for wanting a 4th.

And yes that was GREAT song and I plan on Down loading it :)

Once upon a time, sarah wrote..The Nerve of some people.

Kimmelin

Saturday, 13 September, 2008 at 5:46

For some reason, the #1 question coming to mind for me is: where do the guys in the band plug there amps in? In the middle of the dessert? Come on! (yeah, it is a great song though…)

Also – your son’s haircut could be worse (reference video of “Best. Song. Ever”).
;)

Once upon a time, Kimmelin wrote..Profile of America

WhenSheWorePonytails

Saturday, 13 September, 2008 at 7:33

UGH! Mother in law used her power for bad. Run!!! I’m so sorry. Even if you really do think she’s awesome now. Soon your mind will be yours again and you’ll remember you don’t think it. Bless your heart.

Your children are adorable and I love the suitcase shot. How sweet is that? Totally sweet. That’s how sweet.

And fer da rekird, (I don’t know why I did that…it felt good) I love the bullet posts. It’s all neat and tidy and gets all your points across quickly and effectively. But you may not want to listen to me because not only am I certifiably crazy by most people’s standards, I also like it when my DVD collection is in alphabetical order. I’m told this makes me a nut. I think it makes me well organized and an efficient movie watcher.

I hope you’re having a lovely weekend you Democrat you. You go girl with your off the fence status. I’m building a new fence so I can just live on it forever. I think I’m going to write in someone. Maybe you?! Yep, that’s it. I’m writing in Mr. Lady. Watch the news and you’ll see your vote show up, k?

Once upon a time, WhenSheWorePonytails wrote..Doing it right

April

Saturday, 13 September, 2008 at 10:03

I can’t tell you how happy that’s made me about you being a Dem for life. Especially after this week.

Once upon a time, April wrote..Happy Blogiversary to Me!

Collette

Saturday, 13 September, 2008 at 12:02

I love that first picture! They have that what the f*** is wrong with you look that my kids give me all the time. Actually, hubby gives it to me too.

Sorry about the MIL. Make sure your liquor cabinent is well stocked. If my MIL was staying with me for any more than 4 hours, I would need oodles of wine, pomigranite mojitos, and jose to get me through.

Once upon a time, Collette wrote..Foto Friday!

Marge

Saturday, 13 September, 2008 at 15:50

4of3? You can’t. It’s only been a few weeks since I saw you last :P Besides, it’s totally MY turn and I’m not quite ready yet.

Video has a redeeming quality. Appears to be filmed in CO or UT. Good song tho.

Once upon a time, Marge wrote..Unexpected

Kelley

Saturday, 13 September, 2008 at 16:52

So which ones are the Democrats again????

*ducks from the flying croc*

Mike Marshall

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 5:55

Hey Lady! That song totally sucks ass…………………but the video was great! Peace, Mike.

Gnilleps

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 21:59

That was a lot. Nice Video. The Pro line, priceless. Off the fence? Well we’ve had that conversation. Your kids…. FREAKING CUTE. ( not that you can see it, cause I backspaced as I realized, but I just about blew 1-2-3 of 3′s cover in this post.) 3 of 3 is just as cute as a girl who’s last name isn’t my last name can be.