007, With Carseats

I like dating. Overly. Dating is, for me, the funnest thing I never really did. See, I kinda married my second boyfriend and so my “dating” experience can be summed up in four words; train tracks, and Old Chicago. That’s about it.

Being the type of girl who likes to get her kicks where she can, I try to find ways to creatively maneuver around that whole “being married” bit and get myself out there. My friend Veronica and I have been known to go on a mean date, one involving posh martinis in little Russian cafes at the beginning and hot tubs at the end. Meow. Today, I am being all James Bond and going on an international date. With a married woman.

Hel-lo homewrecker.

A few weeks ago Dove sent me a purse (did you know I have a purse thing? I have a purse thing) that had some shampoo, some conditioner, some deodorant (which, shock, actually kind of rocks) and 2 movie tickets to see The Women, which opened in theaters on Friday.

Guess where the tickets are only good in? That’s right, AMERICA. Um, America? You’re, like, *this* much of the world. Share with the group already. Puff puff give, you know?

I was totally going to give away the tickets and then I remembered that I live 30 minutes from America, and my friend Latte Mommy lives 5 minutes from America, and we both really loves us some Target, and the Target closest to here is right next to the American Movie Theater closest to here, and yeah…I totally asked her out. On a date. Over international boundary lines.

Really, how many people have asked you out on a date that required a passport and, potentially, a cavity search?

Let me rephrase that: Really, how many people have asked you out on a date that required a passport and, potentially, a cavity search by a man in uniform?

Still not right: Really, how many people have asked you out on a date that required a passport and, potentially, a cavity search by a grumpy, caffeinated, uniformed government official? While sober?

So, at about 2pm, LatteMommy and I will set out on a whirlwind adventure of mystery and intrigue in a foreign country. There will be dinner. There will be a movie; a Chick Flick movie, at that. There will be Starbucks and a there will be a pack of Marlboro’s, dammit. And there will be Target.

TARGET, people.

Jill

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 3:52

A date? A movie? Target? And Starbucks? America??

Could I seriously be ANY more jealous than I am right now… as I sit in my 100+ degree humidity in B.F.I…absolutely nowhere near any of the above??

Any little treat you want to send my way is perfectly fine with me.

Seriously.

Once upon a time, Jill wrote..Take a Tour of Casa de Perlman

calicobebop

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 5:06

I live vicariously through you and your international adventures. My daughter and I went to Target yesterday ourselves. Dropped $150. Curse you Target and you super cute organizing tools and curtains! Curse you…

BTW, hope you have fun! ;)

Once upon a time, calicobebop wrote..ANTM – Lots of Hot Air

Goldfish

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 6:09

Wow. I’ve never been on a date that potentially involves a cavity search. Especially not since I’ve been married. (I don’t think I can take that kind of excitement anymore.) But. I did make my husband move hundreds of miles so we could live in a place that has a Target….

Melisa

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 6:21

I totally take my Target for granted; I live about 1 1/2 miles away from TWO of them. (Sorry)

I can’t imagine if I had to pack it up and move somewhere where there was no Target. I hope you have a GREAT time at Target, and I hope you find lots of great deals. In fact, why don’t you get your kids each a Target gift card for Christmas, which will ensure that you’ll HAVE to go back? That’d be fun.

And I hope you like the movie! Have fun!

Once upon a time, Melisa wrote..Who Wants a Clean House?

Megryansmom

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 6:22

Old Chicago, as in Bollingbrook in the 70′s?

Once upon a time, Megryansmom wrote..Rain Rain Go Away

Maria

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 6:52

Let me know if it’s good. I think I might want to see it, but Meg Ryan and Eva Mendes make me want to blow my brains out. Jada’s my girl though!

Lisa

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 7:33

Enjoy your movie in a foriegn country. You risk taker!

Once upon a time, Lisa wrote..Weekly Movie Review #5

Erica

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 8:17

If you think crossing the border is bad try flying out of one of our airports! Actually I haven’t crossed the border in a while. Do we really need passports for that now? Last time I went we just needed birth certificates.

Once upon a time, Erica wrote..55 Flash Fiction Friday: Impossible to be different

One Mom's Opinion

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 8:42

Hysterical. Enjoy yourselves, it sounds wonderful. I feel for you, I love Target and couldn’t imagine not being able to shop there. I’m on cloud nine because it was announced last week that we are getting an IKEA.

Once upon a time, One Mom’s Opinion wrote..Family issues

Captain Dumbass

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 8:45

Harassment at that border, going to THAT Target is no where near the grumpy-ass fun of being harassed coming back. Last time I came back from that Target a Canadian border guard freaked at me because all I had was my driver’s license and the US wouldn’t have let me in without my birth certificate or a passport. As much as I wanted to point out the fantastic stupidity of that statement since I was returning from the US, I really wanted to keep the set of king sized sheets I’d just bought and avoid having a large fingered man administer a proctological exam on me.

Once upon a time, Captain Dumbass wrote..Just Do It

Ree

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 9:02

I think I just had an org@sm thinking about it.

Once upon a time, Ree wrote..Something to Read

Jaina

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 9:19

Sounds like a fabulous time! I hope you have a lot of fun! (ya know, minus the cavity search, that just sounds like no fun)
I was at Target last night, I live just up the hill from one…I guess I kinda take it for granted, it’s just so easy to run down the hill or drop by on my way home from work. Yeah, needless to say I spend WAY too much money there.

Once upon a time, Jaina wrote..Girl Power

anna

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 9:22

In America, we like to call it Tar-jay. Have fun!

Once upon a time, anna wrote..Animal Screen Print Tees By Glug Baby

Kate

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 9:39

You’re totally coming to my town, aren’t you? If you get a flat or get lost or something, give me a call. :)

Oh, and I may or may not stalk you in Target.

Once upon a time, Kate wrote..Flashback Friday

Latte Mommy

I am Julia Roberts to your Richard Gere, baby. Minus the whole call girl thing. (Maybe.)

Once upon a time, Latte Mommy wrote..It’s Funny ‘Cuz It’s True

anne nahm

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 10:19

The last cavity search by a man in uniform I had was at the dentist. Will twiddle my fingers until you return.

Once upon a time, anne nahm wrote..This Week’s Stupid Things I Cried About Countdown

Island Mummy

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 10:24

That is the only downside to living on the island, I can’t just pop across the border to Bellingham… With the current cost of ferries and gas I’d have to remortgage the house.

MMMMM Target. And you have 2 Ikeas, it’s not right.

Tammy

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 10:57

That’s, like, the ultimate dream date!

I think I needs to get me some tickets to that movie and have a “date” of my own. Sounds like a blast!

Once upon a time, Tammy wrote..Republican, Democrat, or Southern Republican?

Iris

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 11:00

Passport. Cavity search. Man in uniform. Honey, you are so speakin’ my language. I’m bilingus. That is smokin’ hot. Oh, the good ol’ days. What I wouldn’t give for even the threat of a cavity search by a man in uniform….you just don’t get that at the PTA meetings anymore.

Thanks…where do I send the check for your fantasy inspiration service?

Once upon a time, Iris wrote..Sweaty Bitch

SciFi Dad

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 11:04

re: cavity search… everyone knows that good bloggers post pictures. Just sayin’.

Also: from someone who grew up in a border town, US shopping rocks, regardless of how close the dollar is to par. I think US shopping is probably the #1 thing I miss about where I grew up, even though my family still lives there.

Once upon a time, SciFi Dad wrote..Intentions

Natalie

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 11:05

When my dad and stepmom retired to Mexico the one thing she really missed was Target. She would come over here on “vacation” (ha! A vacation away from Puerto Vallarta?!), she had to go to Target and stock up on American items. No other store would do. They had to come out of retirement because of the economy and when I ask her if they’ll ever go back to Puerto Vallarta to live, she says no. I’m fairly certain Target has something to do with that decision.

Also, I love Dove deodorant, but for some reason the cucumber and green tea scent smells like BO on me.

Once upon a time, Natalie wrote..Weekly Winners: Ben’s Story

Tara R.

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 11:35

A grown up movie… no cartoons, no kids… is that legal in America? Hope you have a huge time. Are you going to post some pix of this grand adventure?

MomBabe

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 11:51

Target. sigh. I just blew all my dollars at that glorious establishment.

April

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 12:12

I hate you for liking dating yet not having to date. I hate you for already having plans to see The Women. But I don’t hate you for the potential cavity search.

Once upon a time, April wrote..Happy Blogiversary to Me!

sarah

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 12:24

you had me at Target and Starbucks.

Once upon a time, sarah wrote..The Nerve of some people.

Catherine

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 12:36

I was busily packing up our house ready to move to Canada just in case there’s a McCain/Palin win in November. But no Target? I don’t know what I would do. I guess I’ll unpack those boxes.

Jeanette/Jenty

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 12:37

PMSL! Enjoy your trip!
Target sounds like it’s worth the risk of a cavity search :)

Once upon a time, Jeanette/Jenty wrote..Double Strelitzia flower

Marge

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 13:27

All those years I could have been dating you and all I have to show for it are a couple fuzzy memories of some drunken nights together. Next time you set foot in CO you had better reserve a spot on the itinerary for a hot date with George.

Once upon a time, Marge wrote..Hang-ing Around

Will

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 13:34

Burlington is such a nice little town.

One sure fire way to guarantee a little post-movie, border crossing action is to look the guard dead in the eyes, bat your eyelashes, and say “I sure hope there is 72 of you waiting for me when I get to heaven.” And be sure to bring your own K-Y.

Once upon a time, Will wrote..Heart attack waiting to happen

elisabeth

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 14:08

Target and a movie? Really someone should let the boys in on the knowledge that this is a single mom’s idea of a fun Saturday night. I could spend hours in Target, if only my wallet could handle it.

Once upon a time, elisabeth wrote..Single Mom and Birth Control

Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 15:56

I SO totally missed Target when in Canada. Now that I live near one., I rarely go. Weird, eh?

KEEP BELIEVING

Once upon a time, Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING wrote..I know this woman. I wish you could, too.

Xbox4NappyRash

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 16:37

I usually try to exaggerate for the sake of humour, but I HAVE had a date that involved both a passport (expired) and cavity searches…

Once upon a time, Xbox4NappyRash wrote..Satan and the snowman

The Mrs.

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 18:38

I love Target!!! The city I live it is expecting their Target to open in the middle of October. I am very excited! I don’t think I could live without it.
I hope you enjoy your date. Let us know how the movie is!

Once upon a time, The Mrs. wrote..Sixteen (times 2) Candles

tenakim

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 19:29

So jealous! I want to go on a date with you to Target!

Once upon a time, tenakim wrote..Finally, freaks find me from Google!

flickrlovr

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 20:18

Target’s the part I’d be most excited about. Forget crossing international boundary lines. Pfft. Target is my beast.

Sounds like a fun “date”…hope you have a blast! We need a report when you come back. Of course. Hope you get to shoot someone too and do some cool action scenes, Mrs 007.

Marti

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 21:56

Ugh no TARGET??? I would never survive! I hope you had an awesome date!

the planet of janet

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 21:59

cool. if i lived closer, i’d totally meet you both. (i’d even pay for my own movie ticket.)

cuz a threesome could be interesting, doncha know.

Once upon a time, the planet of janet wrote..Weekly Winners: September 6-13

Jeremy (Discovering Dad)

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 22:21

I get the purse obsession, but not the Target addiction? My wife Lori has a thing for Wal-Mart. Oh well, as long as it makes you happy, right! ;-) Hope you have/had fun border hopping!

Once upon a time, Jeremy (Discovering Dad) wrote..Discovering Dad is New Member of 9Rules Network

christy

Monday, 15 September, 2008 at 6:49

Purses represent extra wombs.

(Like guns are extra d—s?)

Bogus psychology tip of the day.

Once upon a time, christy wrote..Michael Chertoff in "Dawn of the Dead"

celticbuffy

Monday, 15 September, 2008 at 10:07

I can spend hours just strolling though Target. Love that store. H-Mart could disappear and I would never care.

Once upon a time, celticbuffy wrote..Better Late than Never

I, Rodius

Monday, 15 September, 2008 at 10:15

Uh oh. “Exiled American Dissident Taunts Government Officials, Threatens Border Crossing. Plans to Target Starbucks and Other American Corporations.” Somebody call Homeland Security.

Once upon a time, I, Rodius wrote..Justin Roberts Must Die