We are official 10 days into my mother in law’s visit, with 7 left to go, and no one can believe this less than I can, but her visit so far has actually been, oh, what’s the word? Nice? Easy? Pleasant?
Dear god, I’m enjoying my visit with my mother in law. Sign me up for AARP, and make a 4 o’clock reservation at Country Buffet, because I’m one mature old woman comin’ atcha.
I got really sick, and then she got really sick, and so my house is a mess and it smells funny. We laid low this week, but took advantage of the sun last weekend and this weekend to go be tourists. The very best thing about having company is remembering why you live where you live, don’t you think?
I’d didn’t even once feel the urge to shove her over the chain link fence. That thing’s dinky; I totally could have gotten away with it.
But then I wouldn’t have gotten this picture, and I love this picture. And so will 3of3 someday, I’m guessing.
No, I am not spontaneously reproducing beautiful little Indian children; that’s my neighbor’s kid, and my son’s BFF. He rocks seriously. I’d steal him, pho sho. And I could have framed Gramma for it easily. She just got back from Africa, he was born in Africa….
On my sickest of sick days, I sent The Donor out with the girls to Chinatown, where I totally resisted the urge to pay someone to slip a little something in her tea.
3of3 wouldn’t been smiling half as wide as she is, had I gone ahead with my evil plans, now would she?
I actually stopped before dinner and grated some extra cheese that wasn’t covered in the plague.
I didn’t even want to shove her into oncoming traffic while we were hanging out on Robson Street downtown.
I let her go look at the Totem Poles with the sane child rather than having a heart attack while the toddler attempted to break every bone in her body.
They seem to be enjoying themselves, wouldn’t you say?
And when she got worn out, I actually let her not die of exhaustion and instead sit on the park bench for a rest while we dorked off in the rose garden in Stanley Park.
Okay, I just like that one, is all.
I made certain she stood at a safe distance while the boys practiced their acrobatics, where no errant feet could “accidentally” land on her fragile bones and break her in two, or at least seriously incapacitate her.
Speaking of acrobatics, or circus freaks, or just weirdos, or artists, or kung fu hustlers, or something.
Well, okay then. Notice how my excessively large steak knife is all the way over on the complete opposite end of the table from her? It stayed there, all night.
And I didn’t even say a word when she put the moves on my man.
This helped things out considerably.
But this helped even more. Like, so much, I can’t even tell you. As it usually does. See all of Lotus’ less incriminating Weekly Winners right here.
Tagged with: Mother In Law
tiff
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 1:46I love the one of all the kids looking down.
Sorry you have been sick, good thing you didn’t kill the MIL.
Looks like you had a good time.
Backpacking Dad
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 2:06I think you killed her off, buried her, then hired some homeless woman to pose in pictures with you and your kids. You promised her tea and a steak dinner and the Donor had to let her cop a feel or two, but it was worth it, wasn’t it?
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Once upon a time, Backpacking Dad wrote..How to Abuse a Friendship in 500 Words or Less
Connie
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 2:11I don’t know which is better~~the pics/the stories behind them ;) Great winners this week & I’m SO glad things are going better than expected w/the MIL. As “cliche” as it sounds, especially now that you’re getting along somewhat, you’ll miss her when/if anything happens to her. My MIL passed away 4 years ago this coming December, & although our relationship was rocky/difficult @ times, I really miss her & the conversations I had w/her. Toward the end before she passed, we got really close. I’ll stop “preaching” now!
Sorry you’ve been sick & hope you’re feeling lots better!
Once upon a time, Connie wrote..Weekly Winners=Sept.21-27 2008
frogpondsrock
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 5:54You were very restrained, well done.. your children will thank you. As I do for a very entertaining post.. YAY !!!! xxx Kim
Once upon a time, frogpondsrock wrote..Weeeekly Winnnnerrrrs.
Vicky (Secret Mom Thoughts)
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 6:17Great shots. My favorite is the one of the you and the two boys.
Once upon a time, Vicky (Secret Mom Thoughts) wrote..Weekly Winners
Dawn
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 6:52I find alcohol always helps when dealing with the in laws…well done!!
Stacey
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 6:56You have shown excellent restraint & I love how you have photographic proof of it
Once upon a time, Stacey wrote..Scrapbook Saturday
Secret Agent Mama
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 7:17I love the shot of your boys and your neighbor son! I’m glad that you are having a great time, dear.. After she leaves we need to catch up. ;)
sherendipity
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 7:17I was all “awww-ing” and making googlie faces at the the adorable-ness (is too a word) of this post, and snap! … the white haired kung fu people just freak me out.
Gattina
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 7:24Very nice selection of pictures and you seem to have a nice MIL too, lol ! She looks very similar to my grandma on my father’s side, they could have been sisters ! Only my grandma is long gone she would be 120 or something today, lol !
Karen MEG (pomtini)
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 7:35What fantastic shots…. I especially love the ones of Grandma with the kids with the Mommy and Son picture a close second.
Oh wait, that last shot, that would have been best if it were in front of me.
Sorry you’ve been sick, but how nice of MIL to be sick in sympathy as well ;) .
Once upon a time, Karen MEG (pomtini) wrote..Weekly Winners #38 – Fall
Diane
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 7:35I’m glad you didn’t do her in, ’cause I’m not sure they allow blogging from jail and I’d for you to have to stop. You have a gorgeous family, by the way!
Once upon a time, Diane wrote..Target – Expect (to spend) More…
OHmommy
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 7:56Awe.
The sweetest MIL post ever in the history of the net. Awesome pictures. Did you get your hair colored? Love it.
Tammy
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 9:01I KNEW there had to be a punch line! That punch line came in the form of a martini glass! Brilliant! I’ll have to remember that when my own MIL comes to visit for Christmas. SO not looking forward to that!
Once upon a time, Tammy wrote..Updates
raino
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 9:07you truly do have a beautiful family, grams and all.
Once upon a time, raino wrote..Mike Myers; Proud Canadian
Kate
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 9:37Well done! Sorry ’bout the “getting sick” part, but otherwise you’re definitely making the most of the situation. And the kids? They look SO stinkin’ happy. That’s the important thing, right?
Sometimes I am less than thrilled with my MIL, but I keep my mouth shut (most of the time) because she is an excellent grandma. The “get down on the floor and play Legos” kind of grandma. Considering my own mother is at the opposite end of the spectrum and lives in the same town, I appreciate my MIL’s grandma-ness for my kids’ sake.
Great pictures, too. I love the the one with MIL and the kids with the colorful tree in the background. They all look so content. You should totally frame that and give it to her as a memento of her visit.
Once upon a time, Kate wrote..Preparations
Mike Marshall
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 9:41Hey Lady! What else can I say……….? Peace, Mike.
Say the word and you’ll be free
Say the word and be like me
Say the word I’m thinking of
Have you heard the word is love?
It’s so fine, It’s sunshine
It’s the word, love
In the beginning I misunderstood
But now I’ve got it, the word is good
Spread the word and you’ll be free
Spread the word and be like me
Spread the word I’m thinking of
Have you heard the word is love?
It’s so fine, It’s sunshine
It’s the word, love
Everywhere I go I hear it said
In the good and the bad books that I have read
Say the word and you’ll be free
Say the word and be like me
Say the word I’m thinking of
Have you heard the word is love?
It’s so fine, It’s sunshine
It’s the word, love
Now that I know what I feel must be right
I’m here to show everybody the light
Give the word a chance to say
That the word is just the way
It’s the word I’m thinking of
And the only word is love
It’s so fine, It’s sunshine
It’s the word, love
Say the word, love
Say the word, love
Say the word, love
Say the word, LOVE
The Word by the Beatles
Jenny from Mommin' It Up!
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 9:53You are so funny! My MIL drives me nuts also. But my kids LOVE her and she is nice to us, it’s just that she is also crazy!
I love the one of 3of3 jumping and also the self-portraits of you and the boys! Great shots!
Once upon a time, Jenny from Mommin’ It Up! wrote..Ode to Anna
TiVo Junkie/Mom to Bee
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 10:44I know I don’t comment much but I’m a faithful reader! Those photos of you are GORGEOUS!! If that’s you sick, I might be insanely jealous to see photos of you when you are well! I look like something the dog ate, threw up, re-ate, pooped out and sniffed while contemplating re-eating for the second time, when I’m sick…
Once upon a time, TiVo Junkie/Mom to Bee wrote.."Army sergeant badass did something crazy with a pen on a guys throat."
Sleep Deprivation Ninja
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 10:56There’s something a little creepy about the line “when she put the moves on my man.”
And, damn, your MIL is like as old as my GMA. But then, my ancestors are all young.
Once upon a time, Sleep Deprivation Ninja wrote..Summary of the Presidential Debate
Em
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 12:21Congrats on your self control!! Right now I am plotting how to get my in-laws to take a nap in the family car, while I quietly turn it on and lower the garage door.
Too obvious for the cops? Totally pointing the finger at the hubby.
Em
Once upon a time, Em wrote..Paging Soldier McSwoony – STAT!
Jeanette
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 13:39Hehe, looks like you’ve had a good time!
Loved the leaping shot!
Once upon a time, Jeanette wrote..Bradley as Freddie the fish
Diane
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 14:25What a pleasant surprise. Great pictures and lots of happy people. It’s wonderful to see.
Once upon a time, Diane wrote..How to trash a new car
Maria
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 14:32Holy cow. That’s prettier than Florida.
Once upon a time, Maria wrote..out to dry
zandor
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 14:43Those pictures was good and I liked this post a lot.
BusyDad
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 17:01those kung fu hustlers rocked!
I didn’t realize that there were so many things at our disposal to off someone with at any given time. Very educational…
Once upon a time, BusyDad wrote..The Adventures of Agent 00Fury
colleen
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 17:09I’m totally impressed you haven’t tried to knock her out. Were that me…. ;)
love the shot of 3of3 trying to commit hari kari. that girl, I swear – completely a kid after my own heart. :)
when’s the mars party again?
Once upon a time, colleen wrote..And so it begins…
SciFi Dad
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 18:15OK, so now that you not only no longer hate your inlaws, you actually like her enough to post a mushy post gushing about her awesomeness. (Weird; awesomeness is actually a word according to the online spellcheck, yet ironically the word “spellcheck” is not. Anyways. Back to my point.)
I don’t think I can read this blog anymore. At least not now, as I stand on the precipice of my inlaws descending upon us like locusts in the wake of our pending arrival.
Once upon a time, SciFi Dad wrote..We Can Do This All Day…
Mrs. Schmitty
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 20:22Sounds to me you might…gasp…actually be ENJOYING her company a tad. Oh The Horror!!
Once upon a time, Mrs. Schmitty wrote..Like A Scene In A Romance Novel
Kelley
Sunday, 28 September, 2008 at 23:29You are a saint. I bow to your awesomeness. Cause my MIL would have been cartwheeling over that chain link fence and I would be all ‘What? What? I don’t hear any screaming…’
matt
Monday, 29 September, 2008 at 0:15Hmmmm……something different about you in this post. Not sure what it is. Aside from the obvious (abandoning murderous thoughts towards your sweet, innocent mother in law), there’s a glow there. Maybe its rest. maybe a new outfit. Maybe some extra walks with the man (See? I get it now.) Whatever it is…its suits you. Glad things are going well.
Once upon a time, matt wrote..Back in the Saddle
NukeDad
Monday, 29 September, 2008 at 6:54Looks like Mr. Ducky is about to experience some serious Pink Jackboot beatdown! Did he survive? Is she going to join the Jr. World Wrestling Federation? Should I look for 3 of 3 on pay per view? Wow. No boy better ever cross her! Way to teach her, Mom!
Once upon a time, NukeDad wrote..Fruh-Gee-Lee; Must Be Italian
Catherine
Monday, 29 September, 2008 at 7:56All great pictures. And I’m sure they’ll be used in your defense should MIL meet her demise too early.
As for the dinner picture … what’s that white thing on the table? And there’s no napkin dispenser in the middle of the table. What were you supposed to do? Use that pretty, clean, WHITE fabric to wipe faces and noses? You crazy Canucks!
Once upon a time, Catherine wrote..Woogi World
Choch
Monday, 29 September, 2008 at 10:11Sounds like you buttered her up so my 2 weeks will go smooth :) Thanks :) Love the pics!!!! Doubt my pics will be quite as nice. Since she will be stuck at home taking care of the new puppy and assuring Thor he is still our favorite!!! Miss you guys! Love you and glad things went smooth!!
Jim
Monday, 29 September, 2008 at 11:14It’s great to see that it all worked out so well. Awesome pics.
Once upon a time, Jim wrote..An award + How to Drive Across a College Campus
Nancy
Monday, 29 September, 2008 at 11:29Sorry, bu the look on all 3 of 3 … they are liking her visit =)
(and I am thinking you are secretly ok with it too *wink*)
Once upon a time, Nancy wrote..Try NOT thinking about it
Tara R.
Monday, 29 September, 2008 at 12:25I’m really glad for you and yours that the visit is going well. Hope you can keep it up. <3
Once upon a time, Tara R. wrote..RSVP for T’s party
the planet of janet
Monday, 29 September, 2008 at 12:48your restraint is nothing short of admirable.
and you have cute kids, too.
Once upon a time, the planet of janet wrote..Fun Monday: the show me your closet edition
Zak
Monday, 29 September, 2008 at 13:48I’m going to steal all of your kids because they are freaking adorable! You have a sweet family.
I love the way you wrote this post.
That is all.
Once upon a time, Zak wrote..Clutch
Kori
Monday, 29 September, 2008 at 16:16I wonder, does she know the scarifices you make because you are doing her son? Just asking.
Ree
Monday, 29 September, 2008 at 17:10Sorry, honey, but that woman rawks a baseball cap. Can I borrow her to be my mother in law?
Once upon a time, Ree wrote..Seventeen Years Ago…
Aimee Greeblemonkey
Monday, 29 September, 2008 at 18:04All the photos are making me grin!
apathy lounge
Monday, 29 September, 2008 at 21:34See…you just need to keep on thinking it will be bad so that the opposite will happen. As soon as you let your guard down…wham! Just saying.
Once upon a time, apathy lounge wrote..Now all Hell’s done broke loose…
Don Mills Diva
Tuesday, 30 September, 2008 at 11:08Aww – you guys are practically BFFs now.
I think that’s nice.
Once upon a time, Don Mills Diva wrote..Buying clothes? Beware the mom zone
Jaina
Tuesday, 30 September, 2008 at 17:02Good job, I’m proud of you. :)
Once upon a time, Jaina wrote..Expanding the Reader
VegasDad
Wednesday, 1 October, 2008 at 10:45Great photos.
Once upon a time, VegasDad wrote..a restless night
Tiaras & Tantrums
Thursday, 2 October, 2008 at 9:50So VERY funny and SO happy to hear you are not going totally bonkers!!