THIS IS THE TIME FOR LOVE TO STEP UP AND SHOW HATE HOW TO DANCE.
Someone much stronger and wiser than me said that to me the other day, and it has shuffled about in my head ever since. I don’t want to touch hate, I don’t want it anywhere near me or my family, and yet it is all around, it’s right over there in the corner. I have two choices: I can ignore it, or I can take its hand and lead it to the floor. I can be silent, or I can not be.
Proposition 8 eliminates the constitutional right of same sex couples to marry in California. I don’t live in California, and I’m not gay, and that is no excuse for me at all to think this doesn’t affect me. It affects all of us. It is a huge step BACKWARDS in the mitigated progress our country has made in tackling discrimination. Hell, we can’t even try to elect a man with dark skin and an untimely middle name to the office of President without 1/3 of the nation calling him a terrorist. We have a long way to go, but the one thing I thought we’d already covered was this:
All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.
I don’t much like it that guns are legal, and I’m pretty sure that a gun could do a whole lot more damage to my child than two dudes getting hitched could, but you have the constitutional right to carry one, and I am never, ever going to try to take that away from you, no matter how misinterpreted, outdated and downright dangerous I find that right to be. My opinion does not dictate yours.
My opinion about Proposition 8 should not and will not dictate yours, either. I just can’t understand why someone should be put into the position where they felt that they had to fight for the right to keep their family together? Why would we put someone in that position? Are we that cruel a nation?
THIS IS THE TIME FOR LOVE TO STEP UP AND SHOW HATE HOW TO DANCE.
My cousin and her amazing, loving wife have a brand new baby girl. It took them forever to get pregnant, and the pregnancy was really hard, but they got their baby, my little niece Ella. Their family is finally complete after almost a decade of trying. They are beyond happy and fulfilled. They are wonderful mothers. BOTH OF THEM.
My best couple-friends just finalized their adoption of a little baby boy, a choice they made after the IV fertilization failed and the frozen eggs were all used up. The second they laid eyes on that boy, they fell to their knees and cried. I sat with them two months ago, and watched them chase their baby around the house, watched them sing him to sleep, and you have never in your life seen two more awe-struck, charmed parents in your whole life. They were born to be fathers to that child, BOTH OF THEM.
Polly, oh Polly. I’m not even going to try to put it into words. Here:
That is a family; a real, living, breathing family and they need each other just as much as you need your husband or your wife or your mother or your father. Those two love those children, their beautiful children, with every single tiny inch of their being. And those children, well, look at them. That is joy. That is love. I came from a couple married in the church and I never once had that look on my face my entire childhood.
THIS IS THE TIME FOR LOVE TO STEP UP AND SHOW HATE HOW TO DANCE.
Your family is not in danger, but theirs are. Someone wants to tell them that what they have is wrong and a lie and unnatural. And what they have is dinners and coloring books and diaper changes and Backyardigans reruns. They only difference is that they had to fight a lot harder for it than you or I did, and that a whole lot of people hate them for it.
THIS IS THE TIME FOR LOVE TO STEP UP AND SHOW HATE HOW TO DANCE.
It is time for us to stand up, as a nation, as human beings, and say that family is important, no matter what twist your family takes. Whether you are gay, or lesbian, or straight, or a parent, or single or childless or adoptive or fostering or a single parent, you have the inalienable right to pursue your happiness. I think the world could use a little more happy, solid, loving couples. I think that we could all learn a lesson in what devotion is, against all odds.
If Elizabeth Taylor can do it 7 times, why can’t they?
THIS IS THE TIME FOR LOVE TO STEP UP AND SHOW HATE HOW TO DANCE.
Let’s show them how we dance. Let’s tell California that we as a nation believe in the right of every citizen to have a family, to have the basic, legal rights afforded any straight American over the age of 18 with an ink pen, a buzz and a witness dressed like Elvis. Please, talk to your friends, write on your blogs, donate to the cause if you can, send a letter to Arnold and say no. No, we will not step backwards into history. No, we will not discriminate against people based on ANYTHING. No, this is not a Theocracy, and one religious groups beliefs do not constitutional amendments make. This is America, and last time I checked, we offered liberty and justice for all.
Updates: Florida and Arizona are trying to pass similar amendments. Read these two posts for more on the Arizona amendment.
Tagged with: Proposition 8
Mira
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 16:37Bravo.
Sad, that on this same day, on the other side of the blogosphere is this:
http://helpihaveateenager.blogspot.com/2008/10/post-where-i-throw-up.html
Em
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 16:39I was just educated today on what Prop 8 is – it blows my mind that this is going up for a vote. How can they give it, then take it away?
Thank you for your post. It is beautiful. Em
Once upon a time, Em wrote..Um, thanks, but no thanks, Heidi.
Jaina
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 16:45This was a great post. My best friend is gay, and so this issue is very close to my heart. It’s been a lot of self-learning through all of this. I think that he deserves the same rights and protections that I have as a straight woman.
I’m also Catholic. And I fully love and support my best friend, he’s amazing. His sexual orientation doesn’t change any of that. I think Prop 8 is on the right track, but there needs to be a clause or something in there protecting the rights of religious institutions. Under its current wording, if a religious authority (since I’m more familiar with it, let’s say a priest) refuses to perform a same-sex marriage, it leaves him and the Church open to discrimination lawsuits, with the possible consequences of losing their non-profit status and many other things. You can see why I’m conflicted about this whole thing. I think it’s definitely on the right track, this is right and should happen…but there needs to be some sort of clause for protection in there for religious institutions. I’m not sure exactly how it would need to happen, but I’m sure the lawmakers will figure it out.
This was a really great post Mr. Lady.
zandor
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 16:48Wow. That was a great post. I don’t live in California, but I totally agree and think what you wrote was awesome.
Once upon a time, zandor wrote..I don’t get that
Philly
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 16:50Great post !!
Maybe you should go over here and educate this blogger. Her post today really piss me off.
http://helpihaveateenager.blogspot.com/2008/10/post-where-i-throw-up.html
Once upon a time, Philly wrote..Tantalizing Tuesday
Mom to Bee
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 17:03Amen, sista! I’m going to link this on my blog post haste! :)
Once upon a time, Mom to Bee wrote..Hurt so Bad
Ronda
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 17:05Amen!
ms picket to you
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 17:07i can officially report from Massachusetts: NOTHING HAS CHANGED since gay marriage was legalized. except that, you know, more children are protected by the same laws that protect my kids. other than that, nope. we’re all okay up in here.
i wish the very same for California.
Once upon a time, ms picket to you wrote..Ruthie’s Daughter
moosh in indy.
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 17:37I’m licking my screen right now.
Once upon a time, moosh in indy. wrote..High School Boosical.
Hockeyman
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 18:32Attracting attention way down here, vote NO on 2 in Florida. Bullshit politics.
Once upon a time, Hockeyman wrote..Monday Mumbles
badgermama
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 19:08My son and I took it to the streets this weekend with our homemade signs and giant rainbow flag. We got a lot of thumbs-up and honking in support from people driving past!
http://badgermama.blogspot.com/2008/10/civics-lesson-on-our-street-corner.html
8-)
Kelley
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 19:17If I could stand up and applaud I would.
Rachel
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 19:35You brought tears to my eyes with this.
I love you more and more with every damn post.
Seriously. I just kissed my computer screen.
Wow.
Just. wow.
Once upon a time, Rachel wrote..Dirty Stuffed Peppers: Mouthwatering Monday
One Mom's Opinion
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 19:52Beautiful. I feel the package matters little when parenting, it’s how you love and raise your children. Giving them love and support and raising them to be happy and productive. I wish that I could vote on this one. I hate these kinds of things and these kinds of things seem to pop up more often. The day will come when this fight is over and they will have equal rights.
Once upon a time, One Mom’s Opinion wrote..Political burnout
andi
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 20:16Brilliant, just brilliant! Funny how when they were talking about all the horrible things that were going to happen in Canada if we ever legalized same-sex marriage. Now it is such a non-issue. Amazingly enough after it became legal, people did not burst into flames, no heterosexuals tried to make it legal to marry farm animals and life just went on as before. I don’t understand other people’s need to hate, when honestly it just doesn’t affect them. If a law can create such happiness, like we see in Polly’s family, how is it evil?
Once upon a time, andi wrote..Tips for havoc-free child-outings
maggie, dammit
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 20:19Oh, babe.
I?
LOVE. YOU.
janethesane
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 20:44Did you ever register to vote? You are almost out of time.
Once upon a time, janethesane wrote..Why don’t I just take off all my clothes
Kimmelin
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 20:55Nice post. Thanks for bringing this issue to light…leading up to election time.
Living here in Montana, I think your point about right to bear arms vs the right to marry the person you love…is so poignant. I’d feel a hell of a lot safer living next to a gay couple, than an AK 47 toting couple.
Once upon a time, Kimmelin wrote..Sexless Marriage?
Michelle
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 21:05You already know that I couldn’t agree more. My very dear friends are the awesome dads to two beautiful little girls. To see them in action is wonderful. How can that be wrong? As a pediatrician I have seen so called parents do terrible things to their children. Having a same sex partner is NOT one of them. I am proud to display my No on Prop 8 button. Lesbiandad gave me the heads up on where to go in my area for some lawn signs. Woo hoo!
Once upon a time, Michelle wrote..Thinking of you Daddy…
Ree
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 21:15Thank you. You (again) said it all more eloquently than I ever could.
Darcie
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 21:46I know I’m one of those despised Righties, but I agree completely. It’s probably my only liberal characteristic (ha ha) but I’m voting No on Prop 8. :-)
Once upon a time, Darcie wrote..100 Random Facts About Me
nicoleantoinette
Tuesday, 21 October, 2008 at 23:23This is the best and most moving post I’ve read on Prop 8. You’re wonderful.
Once upon a time, nicoleantoinette wrote..maybe this is why i don’t like sushi?
becky
Wednesday, 22 October, 2008 at 0:19I couldn’t stop thinking about this amazing post all day and how you just say what needs to be said. I took you call to action personally and had to post before going to bed tonight. So here I am, waaaay past when I normally would have fallen asleep on the couch while watching mindless tv. This was a much better use of my time, I hope. I linked my post to yours. http://nooniebug.blogspot.com/2008/10/fear-and-hate-in-arizona.html
Once upon a time, becky wrote..Fear and Hate in Arizona
Dawn
Wednesday, 22 October, 2008 at 11:22Wow…you said exactly how I feel…I would like very much to link you in my blog if that’s ok…
Major Bedhead
Wednesday, 22 October, 2008 at 13:42I’ll just add another amazing post to the list, from me, in big ol’ gay Massachusetts.
Seriously, we’ve had this here for a number of years and like miss picket, I cannot see that it’s changed anything other than for the good. I have never, ever understood why anyone would care who anyone else marries. As long as they’re both consenting adults, who gives a shit if they’re two men or two women or a man and a woman?
Once upon a time, Major Bedhead wrote..To Quote Christopher Robin, "Bak Sun."
Jeanne
Wednesday, 22 October, 2008 at 15:08beautiful. abso-frickin-lutely beautiful
Once upon a time, Jeanne wrote..Where Jilly Goes, WheeGo
Kim
Wednesday, 22 October, 2008 at 19:13i don’t know of anyone who wants to deny couples their rights. property rights, wills, powers of attorney, whatever.
but why does the word marriage have to be redefined? it’s been around LONG before the constitution ever existed, and only now we find a need to change its meaning.
maybe prop 8 is overbearing. then again, maybe redefining a word that’s been around forever is, also.
gnilleps
Wednesday, 22 October, 2008 at 21:18Ok… So I am not against 2 people getting together and having a union (I know, this word made some mad) that said I do understand why some are against it. Marriage is religious to a good extent and the Gay/Lex lifestyle goes against most of what religous people believe. The real problem is that the govn’ment decided to adopt the same terminology. Washington need to have a different classification for ALL unions, not jst Gay/Lez. Being that the arguement is the religous connotation of the word, Washington needs to seperate Church and State and give all people equals right in this country. 2 cents.
and….
If Obama loses, we will have fulfilled the great Martin Luther King, Jr.’s dream. We will have judged a man, not by the color of his skin, but by the content of his character. At least I will have.
Kelliqua
Thursday, 23 October, 2008 at 7:22In 1988 while my mother lay dying in the hospital of cervical cancer her partner of 10 years, the one who had helped to raise her children, built a home together and stood by mom through better and worse, was forced to lie to staff claiming to be the “sister” in order to be admitted to the ICU. Thankfully, she was allowed and was able to stand and hold Mama’s hands with my sisters and I while she took her last earthly breath.
An honest, noble, just and wonderful woman had to lie, sneak and deceive to be able to “legally” stand beside her life partner during her final moments and 20 years later, this still pisses me off.
Love is love. Marriage is not just a religious institution. It is a contractual agreement between two people to formally and publicly join lives. Why shouldn’t ALL Americans be allowed to choose whom to enter into union with?
Tricia
Thursday, 23 October, 2008 at 9:07I emailed every single person in my contacts, regardless of known personal and/or political beliefs. I was overwhelmed with positive responses.
I also posted here. http://www.fourplusfourequalsten.blogspot.com/
Every vote counts- it’s tired, but true!!
Once upon a time, Tricia wrote..Anti-Miscegenation, Marriage, and Proposition 8
Robina
Thursday, 23 October, 2008 at 12:09I don’t know why anyone thinks they have the right to tell anyone else who they can and can’t be with. That really pisses me off. This is very touchy subject for me and I’m sure I could write a dozen pages of pure anger at the government for telling couples they can’t be married, but instead, I’ll just AMEN!
And I never, EVER had the look on my face as a child either, and I know damn well my mother never did. I would much rather have been raised by those two loving women that I don’t know than my own fucked up mother, that’s for damn sure.
You rock Mr. Lady.
Once upon a time, Robina wrote..What does it do during sex?
Courtney
Thursday, 23 October, 2008 at 14:41Very well-written post. I’ve never understood why people feel the need to interfere in other’s lives in such extreme ways. Make it illegal for them to have children? To marry? That’s absurd!
Once upon a time, Courtney wrote..Cutest Kid Eva!
Contemplative Chaplain
Thursday, 23 October, 2008 at 16:07Beautiful piece of writing, this. Thank you. Thank you.
Once upon a time, Contemplative Chaplain wrote..Goodbye Deferred, For Now
Linds
Thursday, 23 October, 2008 at 19:02Well done, Mr. Lady. It’s all about the love.
Once upon a time, Linds wrote..Number Fourteen…
Loretta
Thursday, 23 October, 2008 at 20:40Oh wow. I live in Palm Springs, CA. Highest gay population per capita – or close to it. I want to print out this post and put it on every windshield in every parking lot I go to. You said it beautifully!
I get so upset. WHY is marriage ANYONE elses business but those involved? That whole church funding thing is crap. There are SO many bull crap commercials out there painting such a false picture. I really hope people do the right thing here. WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE????
Good job, Lady!
Ash
Sunday, 26 October, 2008 at 18:18I totally love that you wrote this post. Bree from Bree’s Buzz sent me over, and now I’m excited to go through the rest of your blog!
Hooray for forward-minded people. I love it!
Once upon a time, Ash wrote..Blood line