The scene: the 8 year old and the 3 year old are goofing around on the couch.
The 3 year old gets a little too amped up, and starts tackling the 8 year old. And then the biting starts. The 3 year old is asked repeatedly to stop. She ignores all of us. I go over to her, get down on her level, take her hands in mine so she’s forced to look right at me, and in my deepest mommy voice, say “Dude, stop. Do NOT hit your brother. Do NOT bite your brother. Do NOT jump on his head. NO NO. Do you understand that?” She nods, barely. “2of3 is all done. You will not touch your brother, okay?” She sort of shakes her head yes. “Okay, then.”
I let go of her hands and slowly start to stand up. She reaches out her sweet, pudgy little arm, points out her delicate little pointer finger, and while still solidly holding my gaze, she slowly, deliberately, reaches over and puts that precious little finger right on his leg.
The appropriate reaction to this would be to:
- Ground her for the rest of her life?
- Throw my hands in the air and take up the drink?
- Research the legalities behind auctioning her off on eBay?
- Shoot a snot-rocket out of my nose while trying to stifle my laughter?
Tagged with: 3of3
Liz
Wednesday, 22 October, 2008 at 13:20LOL. That is what I would have done. Sometimes we just need to laugh.
~Liz
http://www.AGiveawayADay.blogspot.com
Kori
Wednesday, 22 October, 2008 at 13:28I still believe this is one of the main reasons we fall in love with them before they can walk or talk-otherwise, kill and eat, baby.
Once upon a time, Kori wrote..The Moment is Good
Jim
Wednesday, 22 October, 2008 at 13:50Woo hoo! I’m not the only one that gets that. I time The Boy out and then go laugh about it in the other room over some Crown Royal. I’ve never thought of the ebay angle, but with the 30-day return policy I’d be screwed anyway.
Zoeyjane
Wednesday, 22 October, 2008 at 15:25You forgot the all important option of coating each of her fingers with crazy glue. She’d learn fast not to touch anything then, right?
Once upon a time, Zoeyjane wrote..On breaking
Ree
Wednesday, 22 October, 2008 at 15:50See – she read your post about her being born – and she’s playing you for all it’s worth babe. Brought it on yourself, I say. Serves you right for being such an awesome mom, I say. ;-)
Once upon a time, Ree wrote..Travel Day
DisgruntledMom
Wednesday, 22 October, 2008 at 17:37Definitely the snot-rocket. And, if properly aimed, may just teach her a lesson…either on not messing with mommy or the effectiveness of snot-rockets. Either way, it’s a teaching moment!
Once upon a time, DisgruntledMom wrote..Why Is Your Underwear In The Toy Box? And Other Questions You Don’t Really Want To Know The Answers To.
ms picket to you
Wednesday, 22 October, 2008 at 18:10# 2.
No question.
Once upon a time, ms picket to you wrote..Alien
Katherine
Wednesday, 22 October, 2008 at 21:16Holy smokes, we have to get her together with Olivia. Man them genes are strong.
Once upon a time, Katherine wrote..Liam’s Big Week
Kelley
Wednesday, 22 October, 2008 at 22:02I am guessing you did the last one.
As would have I.
Damn kids, why do they have to be so damn cute WHILE they are being right little turds?
What did 2of3 do?
I used to tell my girl ‘Hands feet and objects to yourself’ so they would do the whole ‘I am not touching you’ while waving their arms around the other. Pity they only copy me when I do shit like that and not like washing the dishes or something…
The Real Life Fairy Tale Princess
Wednesday, 22 October, 2008 at 22:20ROTFLMAO!! Priceless!
Thankfully no siblings yet, but my terrorist does the exact same thing when you tell her to stop touching something… i.e. the lamp she is tying to knock off the table!
Once upon a time, The Real Life Fairy Tale Princess wrote..And the Award goes to…
Leslie Dillinger
Wednesday, 22 October, 2008 at 22:52Hilarious! Drinking is the way . . .
Once upon a time, Leslie Dillinger wrote..
tiff
Thursday, 23 October, 2008 at 2:35I hope that the snot didn’t shoot too far. I know you laughed.
Once upon a time, tiff wrote..The box under the bed.
colleen
Thursday, 23 October, 2008 at 4:26fuck me dude. that one? TROUBLE. You’re so screwed, but I love that you know that at least. and to think that i was all ready tonight to take her & the others on the Ghost train and to the petting zoo. yeah. hrm. we might need to talk about that. :P
Once upon a time, colleen wrote..Kona Brewing announces Pipeline Porter
Jim
Thursday, 23 October, 2008 at 8:04One more thing: You’ve been awardified at my site.
Once upon a time, Jim wrote..Go to Sleep + an Award
Robina
Thursday, 23 October, 2008 at 12:05I’m voting on the snot rocket!
Michelle
Thursday, 23 October, 2008 at 13:00First of all, your daughter is a riot and sounds just like my 4th son. Love it!
Just wanted to let you know that I loved your post so much the other day that I referenced it in my blog today. Thanks so much for posting it.
Linds
Thursday, 23 October, 2008 at 18:54OMFG, I am so glad I am not a parent! I would lose my mind…
I like the idea that the victim gets to decide the punishment. Although thinking back to my childhood, the things I would have done to my brother would likely have sent me to prison!
Once upon a time, Linds wrote..Number Fourteen…
janethesane
Thursday, 23 October, 2008 at 19:41Pretty sure you’ve already done B, C, and D. Might as well ground her and see if it helps.
Once upon a time, janethesane wrote..Why don’t I just take off all my clothes
Courtney
Friday, 24 October, 2008 at 16:45Hahaha! That’s almost as bad as keeping the finger just a breath away from actually touching and saying, “I’m NOT touching!” ‘Cause that’s totally what I did as a kid.
Once upon a time, Courtney wrote..Obama Llama
Jaina
Friday, 24 October, 2008 at 16:52She’s a feisty one, that’s too funny.
Once upon a time, Jaina wrote..Weekend Getaway
Zip N Tizzy
Friday, 24 October, 2008 at 23:18And that’s why my kids are watching a movie at 10 on a Friday night, in my bed. Because if I was dared once more by a foot out the threshold of their doorway, I would have shipped them out in the underwear they are wearing.
Sleep Deprivation Ninja
Sunday, 26 October, 2008 at 15:16You forgot option 5:
Physically push her into a universal pothole and see if she can poke her way out of that.
Once upon a time, Sleep Deprivation Ninja wrote..Transmetropolitan
Ash
Monday, 27 October, 2008 at 10:45Ahahahaha!!!
Now we know why many species eat their young!
Missives From Suburbia
Monday, 27 October, 2008 at 21:44Snot rocket. Because I’m a really irresponsible parent, and I often laugh in the face of tantrums and misbehavior. I know it will haunt me later. But that stuff is hysterical.
Once upon a time, Missives From Suburbia wrote..Nature Versus Nurture