No On 8; I Mean It.

I do protest, I never injured thee,
But love thee better than thou canst devise,
Till thou shalt know the reason of my love:
And so, good Capulet,
which name I tender as dearly as my own,
be satisfied.

You know what happened next? Tybalt, blinded by self-righteous rage, killed innocent Mercutio. And then Romeo caught up with him later, put a sword through him and tossed him in a fountain.

And everyone lost.

Why? Because Tybalt got it into his head that the status quo could never change, that the way things were are the way things should always be. He chose to ignore everyone around him and go right on ahead hating blindly, without reason. And that person always ends up with blood on his hands.

Proposition 8 passed in California. They passed similar amendments in Arizona, Arkansas and Florida, too. The very day we finally make one large step in the direction of progress, we take what is certainly the largest step backwards I’ve had to witness in my lifetime. I am at a loss for (kind) words. I don’t even understand how this got put in front of the voters in the first place. Do we really legislate basic human rights based on popular consensus? Last time I checked, family was a basic human right. Maybe I was wrong.

Either way, I will await the results of the court appeals that have been filed, and I will channel the excessive amount of unmitigated outrage I feel towards a 52% of Californians, Arizonas and Floridians into something tangible. If I lived in California, I could do this:

And you can bet your ass, I would be, kids in tow and all. But I don’t live there, and I think part of my unbelievable levels of anger right now are coming from the feeling of helplessness, that feeling that they’ve got us by the balls. I hate that feeling, don’t you? Well, the more I thought about, the more I realized that I could do something, that I should do something, that I HAVE to do something. So I’m doing something.

I’m boycotting California, Arizona, Arkansas and Florida.

Ultimately, what it comes down to, for me, is that these states saw fit to remove any veiled semblance of the separation of church and state. They let the mormon hierarchy the catholic hierarchy and those Focus on the Family (censored) buy their way into politics. Which is fine, if those organizations want to give up their tax exemptions and play ball, but since they want to have their cake and eat it, too, and those states let them, they can, well, they can fuck off and die for all I care.

I’ve been tossing this around for a few days. I felt like maybe it was just as wrong to say, “Hey! Let’s punish a whole group of people for the choices of a few!” But I can’t think of anything else I can do. I can write strongly worded blog entries, I can scream at the CNN website, or I can put my damn money where my mouth is. I can say No Means NO. I can tell those states, who’s revenue comes primarily from tourism, that this tree hugging liberal fag-hag thinks what they’ve done is morally reprehensible and politically unconscionable.

So there will be no trips to Disneyland or Disneyworld for us, there will be no drives to the Grand Canyon, there will be produce bought from any of those states. I’ll shop locally, I’ll be happy with the little beaches I have right here. I’ll keep checking this list to see if there are any specific organizations I can boycott.

I have no allusions that little old me could even put a dent in the budgets of these states, but maybe if enough of us do it, and if enough of us talk about it, and enough of us fight for it, maybe they’ll notice. Maybe they’ll hear us. Maybe they’ll see that what they’ve done is wrong, that it hurts people, that it shouldn’t be legal. And maybe they’ll take it back. Either way, I won’t have sat idle and watched my friends hurt. I’ll have done something. It’s like some other dirty hippie once said:

And if three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in
singin’ a bar of Alice’s Restaurant and walking out? They may think it’s an
organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day, I said
fifty people a day walking in singin’ a bar of Alice’s Restaurant and
walking out? And friends, they may thinks it’s a movement.

And that’s what it is.

(Photo stolen from the FlickR set of Greg Starr. I totally asked first.)

Loralee

Monday, 10 November, 2008 at 2:09

I was so effing PISSED OFF that it passed. SO, SO, SO DAMN PISSED.

I may be pretty middle of the road politically but in this area? SCREAMING LIBERAL.

I would have been pissed off if I was still an active Mormon. And btw? Even though it was officially sanctioned and the vast majority of Mormons would ban it, there ARE a lot of Mormons who are sicked and who disagree intensely with the church’s involvement AND the proposition.

To the reader who suggested you boycotting Utah? EFF THEM. I live in Utah and you love me, so THAT is NOT an acceptable solution.

Loralee wrote..Loralee’s Life Lesson #4: Don’t delete your blog over fugly Internet trolls. Especially on your third blogiversary.

Ash

Monday, 10 November, 2008 at 8:59

I agree with you. I’m on the bandwagon!!!

Ash wrote..AmberLotus’ Survey.

Gnilleps

Monday, 10 November, 2008 at 10:42

Well you get Obama and Prop 8. Seems that bringing out the Obama vote also got you that… kinda funny really.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/uselection2008/barackobama/3388430/Barack-Obama-may-have-helped-California-Proposition-8-gay-marriage-ban-pass.html

I am a bit confused though… What “rights” are denied here. My wife and I were domestic partners for a LONG time and it seems that we were not missing anything. Though we did get all romantic and get married. I am not entirely sure why the gay community would want any part of of a title given from an organization that expressly calls them an obama-nation (bad play on words, I know…)

My wife and I did not care how other people viewed our “union” which in this day and age, at least in my state, and I lived in CA too, was the only difference. With wills, powers of attourny, domestic partnership rules and the such. As far as I can tell the only thing this effects is society validating what is considered by most of society as an aberrant behavior. (Please don’t flame me too bad. I am REALLY asking the question since I am not gay and have no idea. Sort of devils advocate to get a well informed answer. The Obama comment is me just being bitter about the election, go ahead and flame away on that, lol)

Like I have always said, I think that the gov’mnt should do away with “marriage” and go with a Union that encompasses everyone. I personally know quite a few people that have married in the church w/o the need to have the gov’mnt validate that ceremony and that could certainly continue… Gov’mnt union and church wedding for those that find the need for that.

A Whole Lot of Nothing

Monday, 10 November, 2008 at 12:24

I’m totally boycotting Florida. Except that I live here. But at least we don’t pay State income tax, so I can’t go all Melissa Ethridge on them and withhold my taxes. I can stay away from tourist taxes which is how we get away w/ no State tax.

A Whole Lot of Nothing wrote..Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

Jennifer

Monday, 10 November, 2008 at 13:41

I would have voted against it, and I’m not in favor of gay marriage. I don’t think the government has any business defining marriage in any form. If two people want to sign a contract that includes all the beneficiary stuff, right to visit, etc-that would be in the realm of government. Marriage is a spiritual union and therefore out of the realm of government control.

Jennifer wrote..Down The Memory Hole

Matt

Monday, 10 November, 2008 at 16:40

Your point about church vs. state is well taken. THAT, in my opinion, is the most frustrating issue on this topic. Living in California, a state that overwhelmingly votes blue in each and every election, you would think we’d be able to read between the lines a bit better. It disgusts me that people got so wrapped up in this issue. It also disgusts me that so many of my fellow Angelenos let hype generated by conservative right campaigning cloud their viewpoint. People began voting emotionally, not rationally. The issue became “Do you agree with homosexuality as a concept, and would you like it in your family?”, rather than “Should we amend our Constitution and set a precedent for future propositions and church intervention?” C’mon! We are supposed to be smarter than that.

How did I vote? I voted “NO”. Took me all of about two seconds. AND, I might add, I was very annoyed and inconvenienced at even being forced to vote on a proposition such as this one. It was a waste of my time and I should never even have been pushed to make a decision either way. Its not for me to decide.

The fact that this proposition made the ballot, and then that it passed, made me sick to my stomach and devoured a large chunk of newfound respect I had JUST found for my fellow citizens. A college professor used to argue with me that the Holocaust could just as easily happen today as it did back then. I used to argue that people were smarter now, that we aren’t as easily swayed by propaganda and opinion. Prop 8 passing made me realize that I was wrong. That, to this day, people will STILL follow anyone and anything that speaks to their fears loudly enough. And that, my friend, makes me feel ashamed.

Matt wrote..The Preemie Adventure – Barbara

Tricia

Monday, 10 November, 2008 at 18:03

Damn- I wrote a perfectly unrehearsed lovely comment and promptly lost it.

I’m trying again.

Gnilleps- YOU had a choice. I do not.

Ron-

Semantics. Let’s not make it more complicated than it already is- Grandma raising her grandchildren due to the death or incarceration of her child- not a family? My good friend who is a chair bound quad, unable to procreate, since the age of 21- can’t get married? My sister adopts her husband’s child (after his first wife dies in childbirth) is a caregiver to said child and not a family? My partner and I have just celebrated 20 years together we have 3 bilological and 5 children we have adopted from foster care- 3 of which would have been dead (so says the pediatrician and metabolic specialist) without our care. We are unstable, evil lesbians, I tell ya! Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have biological children and adopted children- some of which- horrors- are racially different than their parents or should I say caregivers? They aren’t married. Are they half a family- or no family? And I’m with Miko- Who gets to decide which biblical rules we follow and why?

Ashley-
Listen, instead of voting for a ridiculous law- call the woman’s licensor if you feel she is mistreating those ten kids. If she’s not leave them be or better yet offer to help out. Or maybe you know someone who is willing to parent one or two of them??? I would definitely encourage you to call an authority if she is not doing right by those kids.
Hey- and what’s going to happen to the kids that are currently placed with unmarried people? Are they going to yank them out of their current placements- damaging these children further- children who have already lost at least one parent already.
I am not trying to be hostile and I realize you don’t control everything… I’m just putting it out there.

And money- someone mentioned money up there- Can you imagine what we could have accomplished with the 73 MILLION dollars that went into Prop 8? Healthcare, education, proper gear for our soldiers, foster care re-vamp, recruiting and educating adoptive parents… Kills me.

Tricia wrote..What are you?

Sleep Deprivation Ninja

Monday, 10 November, 2008 at 18:49

I find it so amazing that anyone could have such arrogant tenacity to pass a law like prop 8… It’s just wrong. And the money is a huge issue. The fact that we spend so much money to take away peoples rights…. that’s fucked.

Audubon Ron

Monday, 10 November, 2008 at 19:24

Now that it appears Mr. Lady has afforded me visitation rights – a few things. (After all it is her living room and I must behave accordingly and with the utmost of respect to her – the little shit, I mean my beloved hostess).

I’m like you. Having been a Californian resident for 25 years and now living in Mississippi, I really haven’t a clue how a state can govern by proposition. Why vote for elected officials? Wuddup with that? I have seen squirrelly propositions come and lived in the state capitol where I was involved trying to defeat many proposition efforts. The weirdest of all was Pay At The Pump where you paid your insurance at the pump. That was nothing more than chasing a goose and a ghost. The California government has some really bazaar bills as well such as SB 80. That really hurt a lot of good legitimate industry. Actually made them move out of California.

Let me say as a Christian, I also approve of separation of church and state. I don’t want the state involved in religious affairs anymore than I do religion in the state’s affairs.

I told Mr. Lady off line that I lost three very important people in my life to AIDS and yes they were gay. I loved them dearly. They were very close to my Mom and other friends.

I’m not sure what to make of it all but hitting this issue head on seems to cause the greatest friction. So, in my usual form, I try to find another way around it. So let’s call it a Parentage of Fidelity, pass a law and away we go. Everyone is happy and we get the rights.

Okay for you Shannon, my little foster big sister? You’re still a little shit for lying to me. I might not EVER forget that. Damn I love you!

shaunna

Monday, 10 November, 2008 at 20:17

go here to sign the petition to repeal Prop 8 (California residents):

http://www.couragecampaign.org/page/s/repealprop8

go here to find out how to make a formal complaint with the IRS, seeking to have tax-exempt status revoked:

http://lds501c3.wordpress.com/

(the above blog is geared toward the LDS, but the same rules apply to the Catholic church, too. it’s a handy-dandy how-to resource.)

shaunna wrote..Tomorrow Has Started Now

Monday, 10 November, 2008 at 20:25

I really don’t get all the surprise… our whole society is based on legislating morality. Can a cousin marry a cousin? Can Polygamist marry all of his/her spouses? We can spend all day trying to figure out what happened, blaming conservatives, democrats, the blacks, or even Audubon Ron but the reality is everything we do legislates a morality… based on what is a different question… a majority? IDK. But we all do it.

Monday, 10 November, 2008 at 21:12

Gnilleps: A very interesting point. When we say morality, exactly which morality. There are many. As many as there are people. Morality defined is that which is virtuous and conforming to the rules of right conduct. But whose rules and right conduct?

For instance there is a morality in this blog. Mr. Lady sets the rules and we must conform to them, perhaps sometimes begrudgingly. But we must feed the beast in order to gain passage through the abyss. That would be virtuous to the Whiskey In My Sippy Cup morality, if the only universe were this blog, that indeed would be simple. But, there are many moralities.

IF, we put all morality into blender, what would it look like – and don’t a say a daiquiri.

Let us examine Henry David Thoreau’s essay on Civil Disobedience written while jailed for refusal to pay a Poll Tax to fund the Mexican American War.

Chapter Two:

“Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is also a prison.”

Chapter Three:

“For eighteen hundred years, though perchance I have no right to say it, the New Testament has been written; yet where is the legislator who has wisdom and practical talent enough to avail himself of the light which it sheds on the science of legislation?”

The second most important book I ever read was The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave.

Mr. Lady, these two books are mandatory readings if one wishes to dabble in American politics.

http://sunsite.berkeley.edu/Literature/Douglass/Autobiography/

http://thoreau.eserver.org/civil.html

Douglass wrote: “The ties that ordinarily bind children to their homes were all suspended in my case. I found no severe trial in my departure. My home was charmless; it was not home to me; on parting from it, I could not feel that I was leaving any thing which I could have enjoyed by staying.”

Audubon Ron wrote..Is Anything Made in America Anymore

Monday, 10 November, 2008 at 23:24

Sorry, did you answer my questions?

Brian

Tuesday, 11 November, 2008 at 13:43

I’d so totally join the boycott, but I’m so poor nobody’d notice. Besides, there are apparently 5,266,794 really fantastic people out in California, and if I did have the money, I’d sure as hell like to go out there and buy them a beer.

Brian wrote..Election Night Cocktail

April

Wednesday, 12 November, 2008 at 10:34

Mr Lady, I wish you were here protesting with us! I can’t tell you how uplifting it was to be with 12,000 other people who were just as upset as we were! And we’re going on Sat., too. I hope this ban is lifted so you can come visit me :)

April wrote..Their First Rally