You Can’t Have Everything…

Where would you put it?

I started a little recipe contest a few weeks ago, and a contest for free flower delivery a few days ago, and today is the day to announce the winners.

First, the recipe contest.  Wowzas, there were a lot of entries. Note to self: Don’t start a diet right after you start a recipe contest.  Or do, if you are into torture.  I used that randomizer thing to pick 3 entries and came up with these, and then I made them.  Truth be told, I made lots of others, too, but we JUDGED these:

The meatloaf?  I honestly like the flavor of mine better, but here’s the thing:  Mine takes hours. This one took about 5 minutes to prep, 30 to bake, and when I asked my kids over dinner whether they like that one or mine better, they said, “Dude, mom, totally this one.”  That kicks ass.

The Burrito Pie?  Couldn’t have been a better fit.  Did I ever tell you I can’t make casserole?  I have no clue how to make one, no recipes for one, and nothing would fulfill my white picket fence suburban dream like the ability to bust out a nice casserole.  Also, a drug habit.  Bygones.  So I made it, and I ate it even though it has tortillas in it and therefore totally a diet cheat.  And I loved every single bite.

The danish?  Why the hell do you think I’m on a diet now, anyway?  I let 1of3 make it for our Thanksgiving dinner, we just subbed apple pie filling for the cherry since cherry anything is my short ticket to an early grave.  And then we made it again a few days later.  And again the next week.  And I dream about it, I really do.

But, I can only pick one winner, because, well, until I get a fucking job, I really can’t run around buying a bunch of strangers presents.  As hard as it was to pick, I had to go with the Burrito Pie*.  I mean, look at it.

It was super easy, crazy freaking delicious, cheap ass all hell to make, and the kicker?  Every. Single. Person. in this house devoured it.  No one didn’t like it, no one at all, not even the kid who looks like she’s about to kill me.  And that almost never happens around here.

So, Cuz I’m the Mommy, send me your address so I can send you a gift (and maybe a hint as to what sort of kitchen thing you’d like to have), and Lisa and The Real Life Fairy Tale Princess, I have to at least mail you a mixtape or something, so send me yours, too, if you don’t mind.

As to the flowers from Flora2000?  Well, you people ALL need lots and lots of flowers.  Except for Tanis; she needs to make her husband give husband lessons.  Here’s how it worked: I picked one winner and I randomized one winner.  I wanted to pick Surfer Jay, because his comment made me about pee in my pants.

The most selfless thing I’ve ever done for my mother in law was to get her daughter knocked-up. I mean really knocked-right-up. Selfless indeed. After all, what mother-in-law wouldn’t want to become a grandmother?

Yes, dude, I know what you mean.  Someone did that to me, once, too.  *gigglegiggle*  I wanted to pick Kori, because god knows she could use them right now, but I had to go with Sophie at Inzaburbs.  Because, yeah, her husband is not even as smart as mine.

It’s simple. It’s me who deserves the flowers. Why?  Because (although he is, of course, perfect in every other way) my husband has never bought me flowers. Ever. He did bring me flowers once. He fished them out of the trash can at work because they “still had some life left in them”.

That’s totally worse than finding half a worm in your apple.  That’s just, uuuuugh.  Buy yourself something nice, honey.  Something not covered in coffee grinds and rotting broccoli.  The radomizer thing picked Hockeyman, who is a JERK who sent me a recipe for Key Lime Pie in the comments of the I’m On A Diet post.  He hates me, and he’d getting flowers.  He’d better send them to his wife.

Thanks to everyone who entered, and really, if you need a recipe for anything, take a look at that link sheet and dig through the comments.  There’s some mind-numblingly good stuff in there.

In case you didn’t win anything, I offer you this:

That is my daughter’s room.  We spent hours the day before sorting through every Barbie shoe, every barrette, and putting 8 bazillion tiny little things in their proper drawers and cubbies.  The next morning, I woke up to that.  This.

See, I lost, too.  Badly.  Apparently, if you have everything, you can just throw it in my kid’s room.

*Recipe after the jump.

This is one of those throw-together casseroles that tastes much better than a regular weekday supper should.

Burrito Pie

2 pounds ground beef or turkey (I use half of each so I don’t have to hear The Hubster bitch about it!)
1 onion, chopped
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1 2 oz. can black olives, sliced
1 4 oz. can diced green chili peppers
1 10 oz. can Rotel tomatoes with green chiles
1 16 oz. jar taco sauce
2 16 oz. cans refried beans
12 8-inch flour tortillas (I prefer The Hubster’s homemade ones, but White Wings brand has a pretty close replica)
9 ounces shredded Colby/Jack cheese (Um, this is totally an estimate. More is obviously better!)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). In a large skillet over medium heat, saute the ground beef for 5 minutes. Add the onion and garlic, and saute for 5 more minutes. Drain any excess fat. Mix in the olives, green chile peppers, tomatoes with green chile peppers, taco sauce, and refried beans. Stir mixture thoroughly, reduce heat to low, and let simmer for 15 to 20 minutes. Spread a thin layer of the meat mixture in the bottom of a 4 quart casserole dish. Cover with a layer of tortillas followed by more meat mixture, then a layer of cheese. Repeat tortilla, meat, cheese pattern until all the tortillas are used, topping off with a layer of meat mixture and cheese. Bake for 20 to 30 minutes in the preheated oven, or until cheese is slightly brown and bubbly. Yield: 16 servings

Complaint Department

  • Kelley


    Biatch, I could have given you tips on what not to do. Like sorting barbie shit.

    Waste of time. But it burns calories. All that hair pulling and frustration when they dump it all back together again.

    And I still think my recipe was the winner.

    Kelley wrote..Adventures in babysitting

  • DC Urban Dad


    Surfer Jay is really a saint.

    DC Urban Dad wrote..Please sir, put down the milkduds

  • MidLifeMama


    I noticed that 3of3 is still crib bound. I hope Cooper stays in his crib til he is 6, but that is unlikely. He is 2 now. How long do you keep your kids in cribs? He hasn’t begun climbing out, YET, but probably could if he tried.

    MidLifeMama wrote..The chance to make a complete fool of myself gets closer

  • Sophie, Inzaburbs


    Thank you! I will enjoy the flowers. As you can see I really, really deserve them.
    I do think it is great that my husband is into recycling but as we all know there are limits. We can laugh about it now (well, in my case, more of a snigger) but it doesn’t change the fact that if I want flowers I still have to buy them for myself.
    Or, apparently, get given them by a lady.
    So, much appreciated!

    Sophie, Inzaburbs wrote..Spelling the Beast

  • Kel


    Oh the burrito thing looks yummy – growing up we would take a burrito and deep fry it and then smother it with chili and cheese and lettuce/tomato/sour cream & guacamole – yep it was heavenly, but then again we are the home to ‘fried coke’ so I don’t think there is much we didn’t fry. (Just thought I’d share – you are on a diet and you do need to dream right?)

    Congrats to the winners!
    ~K

    Kel wrote..2 Parents + 8 Kids = Holidays

  • TRACI


    that burrito number sounds most delish. As well as the sound of me failing low carb take 2.

    TRACI wrote..The Hangover Effect

  • Hockeyman


    Saweeeeet! Only I thought I voted for option 3…..Hmmmmmm.

    Make the damn pie already, then I won;t be such a jerk when you nibble at it’s awesomeness!

    Hockeyman wrote..The Hero In Me

  • Miss Britt


    It is truly shameful how tied to you I feel with those pictures of your daughter’s room. Truly, truly shameful.

    Miss Britt wrote..What Do You Want To Do With Your Life?

  • Twenty Four At Heart


    Going to make the Burrito Pie. Cuz I need things that are easy right now w/Thanksgiving and a zillion hours of cooking looming in front of me.

    So …. OMG I got a free sex basket from a reader. And I posted about it today and I included pics of the toys. Now I’m afraid I’m going to be totally kicked out of the blogosphere. Do you think?? Have I broken blogging rules? Because I even named the toys. I’m blushing thinking about it – WTF was I DOING??????

  • April


    Kori won my give-away so that’s something!

    April wrote..A Note to the Actors

  • tracey


    They sound delicious! I have a bedroom upstairs that looks remarkably similar to that picture… More Little Pet Shop guys and puzzle pieces instead of hair bows, though…

  • Lee the MWOB Queen


    Your daughter’s room makes me feel all happy inside. I have two girls sharing a room (6 and 4) and their room is like that every single day. At least the Barbie stuff you can pick up without a tweezer – what about all of that friggin’ Polly Pocket teensy weensy crap? That stuff strewn about makes me crazy!

    Lee the MWOB Queen wrote..A series of FIRSTS for "Moms Without Blogs"

  • Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]


    Hand over that pie and no one gets hurt.

    The husband (that jerk above) doesn’t eat refried beans (yeah, I know) so would it work w/o the beans? I wanna make it.

    And the room thing. Happens on a weekly basis around here. Damn kids. They need 3 toys and that’s it. Too bad I want more.

    Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] wrote..Weekly Winners 11.16 – 11.22

  • Ashley


    Okay, so this burrito pie looks really good. I keep thinking it has fritos in it for some reason, and I’m weird and fritos make me want to gag (not that I like gagging). So, it’s just tortillas, eh? I can do tortillas…

    You think your kid’s room looks bad? You should see MY room. It’s ridiculous, and yet I can never keep it clean. I blame it on my ever loving desire to raid IKEA, but I can’t. And, so it’s not my fault. See?

  • Jim


    I’ll be over to get rid of some of my son’s toys. Thanks!

    Jim wrote..The Wine Academy

  • Tiaras & Tantrums


    this is almost like a recipe on Pioneer Woman’s website- DELICIOUS!! Minus the black olive s- can’t eat those suckers!

    Tiaras & Tantrums wrote..WeeklY WinnerS

  • Jen


    Burrito pie…ahhh that sounds awesome!
    BTW–that cheshire cat in 3 of 3′s room scares me.

    Jen wrote..Cracking me up!

  • Carrie


    Our daughter’s rooms are conspiring against us. The uprising! Aaaaah!

    And that burrito pie looks delish!

    Carrie wrote..Are You There Chocolate? It’s Me, Carrie

  • tom


    Dang, I missed the recipe contest. Not that I have anything to contribute except pizza and chicken skewers, but still.

    Oh – and the kid’s room thing? It’s a natural phenomenon. Order attracts chaos. I think Steven Hawking wrote something about that.

    tom wrote..Greens, Sleeves

  • Momo Fali


    Dude. Why does she need a Boppy? Is she breastfeeding her Barbies?

    Momo Fali wrote..Full Credit if You’re a Redneck

  • Kori


    As always, fucked over for the married people with mothers in law. Oh, well.

    Kori wrote..In Which I send You Elsewhere

  • Jeanette


    That burrito pie sounds divine!

    Jeanette wrote..Fiona’s Maternity Shoot

  • Michelle


    That burrito pie does sound delicious. Your hubby shouldn’t complain about the turkey. Because I am vegetarian my husband gets stuck eating that stuff called veggie crumbles which is basically fake ground beef. I think it is good, but what do I know?! I haven’t had real ground beef since 1991.

    Michelle wrote..Happy Birthday Mom!!

  • Jaina


    Haha, congrats everyone! And I know what those rooms look like, my brothers did the same thing when I’d pick up their rooms. But you know what my mom told me yesterday? They went through THEIR OWN playroom and GOT RID of HALF the stuff in it! VOLUNTARILY!!!! I won’t believe it till I see it…

    Jaina wrote..Checking In

  • Surfer Jay


    DC, that is exactly what I was thinking! Now I just need to convince everyone else of that.

    And Lady, I would have let you give it to me…the flowers too. I am so glad you peed your pants! It makes it all worth while.

    But good lord allmghty, if I did win I would have sent the flowers to Sophie at Inzaburbs, because no woman should go through life without receiving flowers.

    Surfer Jay wrote..Puke Face

  • Micki from Pandora's Box


    ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, not cool.

    Micki from Pandora’s Box wrote..Right Under Me II

  • Momisodes


    Dude. We love burritos. And pies.

    That sounds like heaven.

    Our daughters must be related. My living room is in a permanent state of hurricane aftermath.

    Momisodes wrote..Soy Sauce Will Make You Yellow

  • Micki from Pandora's Box


    I meant about the room, not about the flowers.

    Micki from Pandora’s Box wrote..Right Under Me II

  • The Retropolitan


    Can I have my prize yet?

    The Retropolitan wrote..Happy Hallowe’en!!!

  • Zandor


    That burrito pie thing sounds amazing.

  • Shere1


    OMG… everything sounds and looks scrumptious!!

    And the bedroom looks familiar… I thought it was my 4 YO’s room for a second there. I feel your pain, lady!

    Shere1 wrote..Triple threat… to my sanity!

  • Cuz_I'm_The_Mom


    Is it exceedingly nerdy that I’m all excited about winning this contest? I actually yelled it into the living room to my entire family and they looked at me like I’d climbed atop the entertainment center and took a crap right in the middle of Sportscenter.
    Oh, well. I’m STOKED and I hope that everyone tries this recipe. You can change it up any way you want. Ya know…different cheeses, no beans, chicken instead of beef/turkey, corn tortillas instead of flour…whatever.
    And, NO, I don’t have a blog but I’m thinking about it…

  • Cuz_I'm_The_Mom


    Where are my manners?

    THANK YOU, MR. LADY!