None of the rest matters anymore, but damn I love this picture.

It’s Sunday, January 12th, which means that in 24 hours the polls close for voting on the 2008 Weblogs Awards and the nominations end for the 2009 Bloggies.  Which are kind of big deals, insofar as blogging goes.  I’m not going to win a damn thing, because this blog makes no sense (I know this; I’m okay with this; I make no sense, either; who uses four semicolons in one sentence?) so I could not mention it, because I am a petty bitch* or I could drink the Kool-Aid and mention it, and now you all will know that I actually do give a rat’s ass about web awards.

Run on sentences just feel good sometimes.

Without further ado, awards.  People who I think should win them.

2008 Weblogs:  “The Weblog Awards are the world’s largest blog competition with over 545,000 votes cast in 2007 edition and nearly two million votes cast in all editions since 2003.”  This is not small potatoes.  I don’t care about most of the categories, but some I certainly do. Here they are, and the finalists I’m voting for, with tragic bias.  (Click the link to vote, if you’re into that sort of thing.)

• Best New Blog: Blog Nosh.
• Best Humour Blog: The Bloggess.  Why?  Because.
• Best Comic Strip: XKCD.  It’ll change your life.
• Best Parenting Blog: Looky, Daddy.  I think I may have had a crush on him in 7th grade.
• Best Pet Blog: Fuck You, Penguin.  Also, life altering.  Especially if you smoka da weed.  Which I don’t.  Still.
• Best Diarist: Velveteen Mind.  Disclaimer: I work for her.  And I have a crush on her.  Shut up.
• Best Canadian Blog: Attack of the Redneck Mommy.  Every other nominee is a political blogger, and none of them will show me their rack.
• Best Large Blog: Protein Wisdom.  So long as he’s not too drunk.  Which he usually is.
• Best Up And Coming Blog: If Mom Says It’s Okay.  We totally KNOW her!  She’s Tara in the comments!  Eeeek!

Voting ends TOMORROW.  Just sayin’.

2009 Bloggies: This is still nomination time, and the most nominated blogs move on to the finals.  Why do we care?  This is the award who’s winners get announced at SXSW, which is not at all little thing.  It’s huge, come on.  Since it’s still nomination time, I could go on ALL day, but I’ll narrow it down to who I’d nominate if I had only one valid email address, and couldn’t repeat anyone.

• Best Aussie/NZ: MagnetoBoldToo, Three Ring Circus, Sleepless Nights.  Trampy, inspiring and just damn good.   In that order.
• Best European: XBox For Nappy Rash, Ten Lizard Tongues.  Blogs about his penis, and pulls it off gorgeously.  Which is my favorite sentence I’ve ever written on this blog ever.
• Best Canadian: Attack of the Redneck Mommy, Her Bad Mother, Mommy is Moody, Schmutzie.  Who I want to be when I grow up, with the amazing writing and all.   Bitches making me look bad and shit.
• Best Photog: Jeanette Verster, Secret Agent Mama, Sarcarstic Mom. This one is really hard for me, but these three are primarily photo-centric blogs that make me really wish I’d stuck to that little dream I had of being a photographer.  If I could cheat (I can) I’d also nominate Classy Chaos and Jogging in Circles.
• Best Art, Craft or Design: Craftastrophe, Tempting Sam, Judith Shakes.
• Best Political Blog: Shawn Macomber, Vodkapundit.  Pussy marauders, both of them. Queen of Spain. Haven’t tested that water.  YET.  You 2 Gov, appreciates a good hangover.
• Best Topical Blog: Lesbian Dad (GLBT) Backpacking Dad (Dad Blog),  Suburban Kamikaze (Mom Blog)
• Most Humourous: Anne Nahm, Stuff White People Like, BusyDad, Deb on the Rocks.  Screw it, that’s four, again.  Sue me.
• Best Writing: Maggie, Dammit, The HiPo Lounge, Soapy Water.  Seriously.  SERIOUSLY.
• Best Group: Blog Nosh, Ask and Ye Shall Receive and Stark Raving Dads.  That one is half mine, but I’m dead serious…it’s fucking GOOD.
• Best Community Blog: Her Bad Mother’s Basement.  Damn, just damn. Also, BlogHer. Hells to the yeahs.
  
• Best Design: The Retropolitan.  Really, try to find a better one, I dare you.
• Best Kept Secret: Zombie Daddy, Sleep Deprivation Ninja, Immoral Matriarch
• Lifetime Achievement: Rude Cactus, So the Fish Said

Still here?  Today’s the last day.  Go forth and rock the vote!

*and, according to a tag left by one anonymous Stumble user, a self-absorbed-cunt, which leaves me in a precarious juxtaposition: I can leave it and let anyone who stumbles upon it think, Wow, that chick’s a self-absorbed-cunt, or I can go in and rate my own post in order to remove that tag, thereby making myself, you guessed it, a self-absorbed-cunt.  Decisions, decisions….