Yesterday, Mr. Lady talked about her white pants fiasco. In my comment, I suggested that she planned to make a handstand and make herself look like a giant bunny.

Later that day, she emailed me and said that they were actually her pajama pants, and that no bunny imitation was intended. I replied that I was maintaining my bunny theory. I further replied that if I had a photo of her I would demonstrate what I meant in my comment.

This is the first photo she sent me:

“Wait, aren’t you a blonde?” I asked.

“Fuck,” came the one word reply. “Please to hold.”

(Please to hold? Really? WTF language is that?)

Next, she sent me this:

“Uhm, very nice. However, I believe the point of this was that you mentioned white pants.”

“So?”

“So please send me a photo of you in pants.”

Next, she sent me this, demonstrating her lack of comprehension of the english language:

everyone sing with me, “Keep trying… keep trying… don’t give up… never give up…”

“Sweet merciful zombie Jesus what the hell is that? I said in pants, not getting into pants!”

“Oh.”

Eventually, she sent me this:

at this point, the Donor is thinking to himself, “pfft… if that was even possible, I’d be hitting it like that anal gymnast video” (aside: google anal handstand to see what he’s referring to)

“Wow, that’s pretty impressive.”

“Thanks. It, uh, took so long because I had to run out to that majestic cliff and wait for the sun to get to just the right spot before I could take that picture.”

“I see.”

Finally, I was able to demonstrate what I meant:

And that’s why Mr. Lady wore white pants late at night in front of drunk homeless people.

SciFi Dad writes a blog called Tales From The Dad Side, where he usually writes about more serious stuff than this. In fact, he would never allow something like this to soil his blog and instead offered it as a guest post here.