So, I’m making the bed in my room tonight at 8:15 and I’m mumbling to myself about how I shouldn’t have to make it since I’m never the last one out of it. I’m honestly just feeling guilty because it’s the first time in years days that I’ve made the damn thing, and feeling kind of moronic to be making it three hours before I’m going to get back in it, and kind of annoyed with myself because who really, actually makes their bed anyway?
And then I realize that all the grown-ups make their beds and I just suck.
So I keep making it and I start thinking about Extreme Home Makeover and how they always make the master bedroom into an oasis or a sanctuary or a refuge or some shit. There’s always a reading area and a big-screen tv and gorgeous drapes and lush rugs and I wonder, do people really spend that much time in their bedrooms that they need all that? Because if you do, sure, you probably want to make your bed once in a while. My bedroom is on the 4th floor of my house and the only time I’m in there, I’m unconscious. I have three children; it’s not like I have time to just go lounge around in my room all day long. And it’s not as if anyone except my three year old ever walks past my door and peeks in, and if you do find yourself in the doorway to my bedroom there’s a 99% chance you’re up there to kill me and I really don’t care if you have to trip over some laundry and rustle with the sheets in order to chop me into tiny bits with an old, rusty axe.
And before you say, “What about the ol’ winkwink, nudgenudge?” I’ll just say this: In my life, I have these two columns that I like to call Things I Will Do and Things I Won’t Do and I’ll give you three chances to guess which column “It; with the lights on” goes into. If he’s taking the time to stop, grab the night-vision goggles and check the state of the linens, he’s doing it all wrong.
Now I do like my kids’ beds to be made but the girl only has these two baby blankets so making hers is nothing and the boys have these ginorous loft beds and there are a few activities as equally futile as making ginormous loft beds that I occasional like to engage in, but every time I sit on the floor to converse with the toilet I notice that someone’s dribbled peepee all down the sides of it and then I have to clean it, so I try to stay away from those sorts of things if at all possible.
I wish I were the sort of person who makes her bed everyday, but that would mean I’d have to be the sort of person who walks into her bedroom every day, and that’s just not me. I also wish I were the sort of person who folds the laundry right after she dries it, or the sort of person that washes the pan right after she cooks in it, and it occurs to me that if I were that sort of person my husband might suddenly become the sort of person who drags his wife into her bedroom randomly throughout the day.
But then the damn bed would never be made.
Tagged with: chores, it; doing thereof
shannon
Friday, 24 April, 2009 at 20:21Never, ever, EVER make my bed… if it makes you feel any better. Everyone I’ve ever known who insists on making their own bed has turned out to be insane. I’m not even kidding.
Nature Lovin' Super Mama
Friday, 24 April, 2009 at 21:10lol, on a few occassions mt.man have washed a ton of clothes, left them on our bedroom floor, and we ended up literaly “wearing down” the pile. We try not to do this any more! :)
Jennifer A
Friday, 24 April, 2009 at 21:21I usually end up making the bed at night with at least one kid already laying in it. That is only so I can have my share of blankets when I get in bed. If I made it every day it would look so odd in a bedroom that has a scrapbooking table, plies of clothes and enought toys and kids videos to open a daycare center. Just not in my home.
Kellie
Friday, 24 April, 2009 at 22:53last one out should make the bed or else it doesn’t get made. I’m never the last one out. I’m usually a do the dishes in the morning when I have energy girl. I’d rather live my life and enjoy it than be stuck doing housework all of the time.
Surfer Jay
Friday, 24 April, 2009 at 23:12“I wish [my wife] were the sort of person who makes her bed everyday.”
Because then i wouldn’t have to do it, everyday, by her request.
Expat Mom
Saturday, 25 April, 2009 at 0:11I actually don`t even have sheets at the moment to make my bed with. In fact, we don`t have a blanket for our bed because we always fought over who was pulling the covers off who and then I just got a sleeping bag and then my son complained that his crib mattress was too hard, so we folded the big blanket and stuck it under there. Now my hubby has a sleeping bag too. Obviously we aren`t the cuddling types. :)
Type A Mommy
Saturday, 25 April, 2009 at 5:37I totally needed this laugh this morning! I’m not all of those people, but I do make my bed – in part, because it infuriates me that my husband is always the last one out of it and never makes it. We fight a lot over the covers, so if the bed were unmade, the cover war could turn deadly. And that would be bad. I think.
melissa
Saturday, 25 April, 2009 at 6:30not only do i NOT make my bed. but…i have to beg my sister to clean it. otherwise, i’d be knee deep in clothes scattered on the floor.
so apparently. after reading this. i had absolutely no right to consider myself a grown up and move out of my parents house. well…off to pack my bags.
Secret Agent Mama
Saturday, 25 April, 2009 at 8:48Except for the fourth floor thing, I can totally relate. In the first house we owned, though, our bedroom was on the main floor and you could see it from the main hall… I made my bed everyday b/c when I didn’t I felt like shit. Funny how that works, eh?
catnip
Saturday, 25 April, 2009 at 10:41I never make my bed unless company is coming, and even then sometimes I just throw a big coverlet over the whole thing and call it good. My mother never made me make my bed, and I don’t make my kid either. His wife will probably hate me for that someday. Heh.
Nicki
Saturday, 25 April, 2009 at 11:38Yeah, I hate making my bed too. Especially since I’m a disaster when I sleep, and my bed always has all the blankets tangled up, sheets pushed out by the toe board, etc. In the summer, in fact, I just keep the bed made all the time, and sleep on top of the covers!
Redneck Mommy
Saturday, 25 April, 2009 at 14:56Sigh.
Must I teach you everything love?
Making the bed burs calories baby. It’s not easy wrangling those linens.
Send the Donor over to my place. I make the bed and I’ll let him keep the lights on.
Wink.
Tara R.
Saturday, 25 April, 2009 at 15:43I never make my bed unless I changing the sheets. I’m going to mess them up again in a few hours anyway. Bleh… I don’t fold clothes straight from the dryer either.
Marie
Saturday, 25 April, 2009 at 16:26Oh, I *love* this! I actually do make my bed, but that’s just yanking the covers up to the top. I’ve even trained my husband to do it for the sake of not having the cats loll about on the sheets all day, shedding. I can’t stand that! Plus then the bed becomes at least one neat thing in the room. I take my successes where I find them. But the whole sanctuary thing, I don’t get it. Any clear space in my house is a sanctuary.
Ree
Saturday, 25 April, 2009 at 17:24People make their beds? Dude. I know not what of you’re talking. What is this “make the bed”? Make it in the bed. Yes. Did you leave out a couple of tiny words?
Because, why? WHY? Right before you get in it, you pull the sheets and the blankets over to YOUR side and then you slide your nekkid ass in and THAT’S makin’ the bed.
Suebob
Saturday, 25 April, 2009 at 19:32The stupid thing is that I really sleep much better in a bed where the sheets are all smooth and the blankets are just so. I KNOW this, yet I still never make the bed.
Missives From Suburbia
Saturday, 25 April, 2009 at 20:08I have a fitted sheet and a duvet and that’s it. I still don’t make my bed. It gets made every other week when the cleaning ladies come. Otherwise, only when important people from my husband’s company come for dinner, and I know that asshat is going to take them on a tour of the house, despite my telling him not to do it. Although, in his defense, I generally schedule the cleaning people to come on the day of parties with the sole intent of having all the beds made when the guests arrive. Because I’m THAT lazy.
rachel-asouthernfairytale
Saturday, 25 April, 2009 at 22:04We’re supposed to make our beds?
Hell, I just toss up the big duvet/down comforter over the fitted sheet and we’re golden ;-)
I tired.
Average Jane
Sunday, 26 April, 2009 at 7:44I know there are people who make their beds, but I’ll never be one of them. Sometimes even when we have company I just shut the bedroom door rather than tidy up.
It doesn’t help that one of our cats is a burrower, so even when the bed is made (twice a month by the cleaning lady), she messes it all up getting under the covers.
Futureblackmail
Sunday, 26 April, 2009 at 7:54Although I make my bed, my clothes are lucky to get from the washer to the dryer after the first spin cycle. Normally, I forget they are in there and then “investigate” the smell and realize that forgotten wet clothes in the washer suck.
Turtle
Sunday, 26 April, 2009 at 12:25I stopped making my bed up (except when I change the sheets) .. well, I don’t remember ever doing it. Waste of time, I say. You know, except when someone is coming over and will want a tour of the house. But even then, all I do is pull the comforter over nice and neat. I make a nest of pillows so making the bed would ruin all my middle of the night work!
You’re very cute though. :)
Jan
Sunday, 26 April, 2009 at 13:57I’m the neurotic one who can’t get into an unmade bed. I can’t deal with the sheets being wadded and the comforter not basically centered and orthogonal. That said, we do use a top sheet (never tucked), but only with one down comforter and two pillows. No shmancy throws, no decorative pillows, period. It takes 30 seconds to make, and I often do it immediately before getting in.
Jill
Sunday, 26 April, 2009 at 14:12I hardly ever make my bed. Some sort of rebellion against my clean-freak mother I think. Cuz I’m a mature 36 year old like that.
Sean C
Sunday, 26 April, 2009 at 22:54I hate making my bed… I wonder why I even bother?
No Mother Earth
Monday, 27 April, 2009 at 6:59I wouldn’t make the bed at all, except that I can’t sleep in it until it’s made. (How’s that for OCD?) Sometimes I make it 2 minutes before I sleep in it, but it does get made.
I always think there are better things I could be doing with my time.
Mazey
Monday, 27 April, 2009 at 8:43You should never make your bed. I heard that dust mites breed better in a made bed. All nice and warm and damp from your body. Don’t know if it’s true or not, but it freaked me out so I throw the covers back to let everything air out. Not that I ever made my bed to begin.
Drama Queen Jenner
Monday, 27 April, 2009 at 15:05I made my bed yesterday, but only because company was coming over. First time in months. (Including sheet changes – I just put the fitted sheet on and lay the folded top sheet at the foot until I go to bed. The kids think it’s a playground, anyway.)
As for folding the laundry right away, I do as often as possible. 1. No room for stacks of laundry. 2. There’s no WAY I’m going to iron, so unless I want everything shrunk from going back in the dryer with a wet towel, it gets folded.
the planet of janet
Monday, 27 April, 2009 at 22:45i haven’t made the bed in YEARS.
and it seems to be working out ok for me. ;-)
jessica
Tuesday, 28 April, 2009 at 13:30Why on earth should I make the bed when the cat sleeps in it all day? It’s being *used*.
jessica
Saturday, 2 May, 2009 at 16:08Why on earth should I make the bed when the cat sleeps in it all day? It’s being *used*.
Oops, should have said great post! Waiting for the next one!