56 years ago today, a baby girl was born. That fact bears no relevance at all to this story, but for reasons probably only two of us will understand, I have to mention it. Rest in peace, love; may you always rest in peace.
36 years ago today, a baby boy was born. Seven months later, his parents realized he was going to be a bit more than they could handle, so they did was any two reasonable human beings would do; they got him a toy. As it was, they were to broke to afford a new toy, so they got busy making him a new one.
16 months after that boy was born, his new plaything was ready. They brought it into the living room to show him, set it down on the brown shag carpet, and he reached down into the seat they had it perched in, grabbed its bottle, whacked it over the head with that bottle, and so began life with Eddie and Shannon.
My brother and I have very different strengths and, as it turns out, the exact same weaknesses. Maybe it’s because those weaknesses were beaten into us, whereas our strengths were merely exploited to be used against each other. What a person can only learn through time, however, is that when you play up the strengths of two children for your own amusement in an attempt to pit them against each other on the basis of those strengths, you may bend them a little and you may even slightly break them, but in the end what you’ll be left with is two adults keenly aware of just how awesome the other one is. Talk about your classic back-fires, Batman.
In an attempt to rip the two of us apart, they ultimately had handed us a rope with which to tie our hearts together. It was a long, hard road we both walked, very much so alone, to get to the place we are today, and as time marches on we’re coming to learn that we actually walked pretty much the same path, just at different intervals. We both picked up different tricks along the way, found varying joys, making the two of us, today, to be each other’s yin and yang. We complete each other from a distance, we’re learning to try to understand and to accept and to share this life with each other.
I, who am damn near incapable of forgiveness, could forgive my big brother anything. He, who is damn near incapable of holding a grudge, can feel just enough indignation on my behalf to validate my nightmares. And sometimes, I think, we really near our nightmares to be validated, and we sometimes really just have to learn how to let shit go. I think we’re learning that from each other. I think our cups can be so filled with pride for each other that all the pride can spill over into our own laps, and for small moments in time, we can realize how far we, personally, have come.
36 years ago today, my mirror was born. I look into it’s reflection all the time, searching for my face behind his, hoping to chart my growth in the shadow of his. They say I was made for him, because of him, but what they don’t know is that he was something they gave to me and no matter what they did wrong, giving us to each other made all of those wrongs right in the end.
I loved you this day
And I love you today. And I always will, forever and ever, amen.
Tagged with: Gnilleps
Kori
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 16:48Oh, look at sweet little Mr. Lady! What a lovely post; Happy B-Day to your brother!
Aimee Greeblemonkey
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 16:56I am totally crying
BusyDad
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 16:58From my experience, bond of siblinghood is probably the most bent, broken and tested of all relationships. But also the strongest. Because you’re two versions of one person when all is said and done. This was awesome. You both are. Happy Birthday, Gnilleps!
Just Shireen
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 17:11Dammit, now I’m crying.
Beautiful post, lady. Just beautiful.
ZDub
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 17:15What a gorgeous post. Happy day.
Tara R.
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 18:20Such a sweet picture. I could only wish to have as close a relationship with my brother. I envy that. You are a very lucky Lady.
Happy birthday to your brother.
Sasha
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 19:26You are a wonderful writer. I lost my baby brother couple of years ago and this post made me think of him remembering the great times we had when we were little, our two weddings, the bond we shared. OK, my comment is getting too sappy, I am gonna stop now :)
Angella
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 20:09Beautiful, my friend. Absolutely beautiful.
DebraC
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 20:26I love you’re writing! And, it sounds like you and your brother have the kind of relationship we’d all love to have with our siblings. Thanks for sharing.
raino
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 20:27nice shannon. very nice.
Amo
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 20:34This is one of the few times in my life I wished I had a sibling. I would love to know that bond. Gorgeous, Mr. Lady, simply gorgeous just like you.
MommyNotMama
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 20:34I nearly had an orgasm when I saw your post in my email. Thanks! I was so missing your words and I’m only a newbie follower! My partner and I are both only children, and we have two boys, so this whole sibling thing is all new turf to us. I’ll take any tips you can dish out to make our boys have a good healthy relationship. No beatings though, thanks.
Mrs. Schmitty
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 20:40That was beautiful…I’m so happy that their plan backfired! Happy Birthday to your brother!
Chuck
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 20:45That is very special indeed. I am one of six siblings and I don’t have a relationship with any of them that comes close to this. I’m happy for you. Happy Birthday to your brother.
“36 years ago today, my mirror was born.” – Just perfect
NukeDad
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 21:22I’m the middle child of 5. It was always an adventure, and I’m grateful to say that we’ve all remained close. I think what makes the bond so special and so powerful is the fact that you learn from each other, you teach each other, and, as with you and your brother, you always, always defend each other. Beautiful post.
'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 21:31beautimous. thank you
Mandy
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 21:37Really heart-wrenching. To feel such love is a wonderful gift.
mn
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 22:58that’s sweet. sigh. happy birthday.
Amber
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 23:29Aw. Look at you guys, so cute.
Happy birthday to your brother.
Miss Grace
Wednesday, 8 July, 2009 at 23:53I have a love/hate relationship with you when you make me cry. I love my siblings something fierce and crazy. Even though they drive me crazy.
Gnilleps
Thursday, 9 July, 2009 at 1:20That guys sounds like a right prick… *wink*
You had me at the 56 years ago…
Thanks for the Birthday wishes all…
Love you Shannon.
tracey
Thursday, 9 July, 2009 at 4:55Damn. That’s what I hope for for my kids. Not the traumatic childhoods, but the rope that binds them together…
Happy Birthday Mr. Sir.
TexasRed
Thursday, 9 July, 2009 at 6:17It sounds like you two have developed an amazing relationship.
Mama Goose
Thursday, 9 July, 2009 at 8:12What a gift. So sweet. I pray my boys always love each other like this…
Avitable
Thursday, 9 July, 2009 at 8:17I’m entirely apathetic towards my siblings, so it’s nice to see someone who feels strongly towards theirs. Happy birthday, Eddie.
Keyona
Thursday, 9 July, 2009 at 8:19This really touched me. I have 4 brothers but one that I think was really made to keep me sane. We compliment each other and no one can REALLY understand the type of relationship we have except for people like you who have a similar one. Thank you for this. You rock!
Telephone systems
Thursday, 9 July, 2009 at 8:31its really very touching post. wat a sweet relationship shared here
Dawn
Thursday, 9 July, 2009 at 9:50Lucky..you are!
Ree
Thursday, 9 July, 2009 at 10:23See, now this is the kind of relationship I wish I had with my brother. Without the crappy childhood, of course.
Happy Birthday Gnilleps!
Jill
Thursday, 9 July, 2009 at 11:52Aw geez, Shannon. Just made me cry into my Diet Coke and now it’s ruined from all the salty tears. Way to go!
Suzy Voices
Thursday, 9 July, 2009 at 13:42What a sweet story. There’s hope for my boys yet. ;-)
Jeanette
Thursday, 9 July, 2009 at 14:05Stunning post… happy birthday to your brother
Maria
Thursday, 9 July, 2009 at 16:06Beautiful.
Matt
Thursday, 9 July, 2009 at 16:07Dude. This post is awesome. I have a pretty close relationship with my younger sis, too, and I can tell you that if I read something like this from her it would make my whole year.
Happy B’day Gnilleps.
ShredderFeeder
Thursday, 9 July, 2009 at 16:07I envy you that relationship… Keep it dear and close to your heart…
I’ve got 5 brothers, 1 sister, and talk to NONE of them…
I have regrets… Having to disown my family is one of the biggest…
Mwa
Thursday, 9 July, 2009 at 16:15Happy birthday brother!
You totally wrote that first part about me and my siblings, though, right?
UPrinting
Friday, 10 July, 2009 at 1:21I absolutely love this post. I’m near tears already! I know I can’t imagine life without my siblings, any one of them. However crazy or different we all may be, there is that certain bond and link between siblings that I believe can never be broken. It doesn’t matter how many hardships, beatings, or experiences the bond goes through, in the end it will still stand strong.
Happy Birthday!
patois
Friday, 10 July, 2009 at 8:56The best laid plans of mice and men, eh? Glad you two won out.
Jaina
Friday, 10 July, 2009 at 15:06Sibling bonds are incredible and strong. I’m so glad you had him. Happy Birthday to your brother. :)
ame i.
Friday, 10 July, 2009 at 19:28I have one brother, 3 1/2 years younger than I. My mom miscarried twice after she had my brother, so there are only the two of us.
I vividly remember just HAVING to smack him when we were kids. He now admits to sitting around thinking of things he could do to seriously irk me off. If I was reading, he would thump my book. If I was in the floor watching tv, he would step on my hair. My favorite (not) was the Rhyming Thing he picked up from Sesame Street. When I said “stop it!”, he said “mop it”, “shut up!” was countered by “mutt up!”.
That same annoying boy later visited on his days off after my first daughter was old enough to sit up by herself and continued the visits until my second daughter (2 days short of being 2 years younger than daughter the 1st) started kindergarten. He would spend hours upstairs in the play room with them. The naps I had when the girls were little are still the best gifts he ever gave me.
I love the heck out of him and tell him every chance I get.
Jack
Saturday, 11 July, 2009 at 2:10That was a great post, hope he sees it.
anya
Saturday, 11 July, 2009 at 14:43I loved how you wrote “no matter what they did wrong, giving us to each other made all of those wrongs right in the end.” It’s beautiful that you could find that silver lining in those very dark clouds – your relationship with your brother.
Nicki
Sunday, 12 July, 2009 at 13:03Seriously, dude, that made me choke up!
apathy lounge
Sunday, 12 July, 2009 at 15:01How much to I love this post? T-h-i-s…m-u-c-h.
anymommy
Sunday, 12 July, 2009 at 16:46Also crying, and I would be happy for years if one of my sisters wrote something like this for me. I’d love to read his response.
Mr Lady
Sunday, 12 July, 2009 at 17:25@anymommy, scroll up to Gnilleps. :)
JCK
Sunday, 12 July, 2009 at 21:32Lovely!
Honeybell
Monday, 13 July, 2009 at 10:30This is totally reminiscent of my mother’s life. I’m sending it to both of my aunts, because thankfully, the three of them recognized this bond before it was too late.
Karen MEG
Monday, 13 July, 2009 at 13:44There’s nothing quite like sibling love.
Happy birthday to your brother. He is well loved.
What a cute pic.
jessica
Tuesday, 14 July, 2009 at 8:56awwwwww what a great post. I love the pic.
I always wished i had a big brother.
Momo Fali
Tuesday, 14 July, 2009 at 18:33This is bullshit. I didn’t come around because I thought you were fishing.
Happy belated birthday, big bro.