I own a lot of lipstick.
Why do I know this? Because I decided to really clean my house. Step one of any good life-douching is admitting that you are powerless and that your life has become unmanageable. Check. Step two is believing that some greater power can restore you to sanity. Check check. Step three is giving yourstuff self over to that thrift store greater power. Triple check, yo.
The fourth step, the inventory one…I always get stuck on this one. I’ve never actually made it past this one in any of my numerous trips up and spills down the 12 steps, but this time I am going to. This time, I have a tape gun and a spreadsheet.
I admitted that I couldn’t tackle this alone, and enlisted the help of my husband. We got some boxes ready and we started sorting. Everything. Every nook and cranny and drawer and corner. It’s downright ghastly the amount of shit I hold on to. I like to think I’m sooo organized because I have these five wooden crates where all my Items of Great Sentimental Value are stored, astonishingly flammablelely, in a closet. I think my father also presumes himself a tidy man, what with his neatly stacked boxes filling more than half of his garage, containing Roy Rogers coupons and Acme weekly circulars from when he moved cross country.
In 1986.
We hold on to stuff in my family. We hold on to so much stuff that sometimes we forget the stuff we’re trying to hold on to. I forgot the cute little Laura Ashley shoes I bought my daughter (on a sale that can only be described as orgasmically divine) because her closet is overflowing with shoes she outgrew last year. I unburied my laundry room and discovered that I indeed still own this.
It’s just about my favorite thing in the world, and I honest to god thought I’d lost it in my move to Vancouver three years ago. Nope, just shoved it in the back of a room I never enter. Because there’s too much crap in it. And it scares me a little.
This box hasn’t been used since somewhere in the early 90’s, in the year when my friend Johnny broke his father’s fishing heart and went vegan. He gave me that box many many years later, when he found out I love to fish, and it’s sat in this closet or that cabinet since then, hardly touched. And I cannot get rid of it. CANNOT.
Each one of those forgotten lures, every one of those abandoned marshmallows, they hold a moment in time shared between a father and his son. It doesn’t much matter to me that it wasn’t my father or my son; the proverbial someone’s is quite enough for my sentimental heart.
And so that box will get closed up tight once again, left out of one of the ever-growing thrift store boxes, and I will have to pray a little harder to my higher power for the strength to accept the things I cannot get rid of, the courage to hoard the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
And maybe for a make-up bag, too. Holy crap, the lipstick. I have no idea what my steak knives were doing with Clinique in Honeynut, and I really don’t want to find out.
Tagged with: hoarding
Joy
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 2:18Tackle boxes work great for makeup, too, ya know! Just, FYI. All those handy little sorting compartments, with the potential for endless organisation… Only trick is, putting everything back into its place. Not something I’m particularly good at, either. :)
Elizabeth
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 5:03I start salivating at the thought of organizing all my shit. Notice I said “thought” because that’s about as far as I ever get! Kudos on getting to the fourth step.
Rachel
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 5:35Hey, I still have my Caboodle. And I use it proudly!
TRACI
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 5:53It will most definitely send my kids to therapy being that all of their collective years are stored in exactly two rubbermaid totes and one small rubbermaid file keeper per school year. I keep nothing. And I feel terrible about it.
RobMonroe
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 6:22My wife and I bought the house that my grandparents owned continuously for more than 50 years. After my grandmother passed away ten years ago, the family put all of the stuff that reminded them of her into boxes. In the attic. With the squirrels. My wife and I are now planning to sell the house and move, but can not convince them to come over and go through things.
MrLady – please, for the sake of your children, do not keep every single thing that reminds you of someone you used to know! Find an avid fisher and pass the box, and the story, along to them. Or contact Johnny and pass it back for him to regift.
Do it for the children, and the grand children for that matter!
madge
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 7:10Perhaps you’ve seen this show…Hoarders? No? Perhaps it hasn’t made it to Canada.
I’m already the least sentimental person I know, but every time I watch that show I run around and throw shit out. It’s cleansing, yo.
Nicole
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 8:07I agree with Madge – watch hoarders and that will cure you of anything you want to collect: newspapers, food, cats.
I could organize for weeks and never get done. I constantly reorganize things because I think it’ll be better.
I should really learn “if its not broken, don’t fix it.” But I can’t help it.
Mr Lady
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 11:04@Nicole and @madge, I’ve totally seen that show. It frightens me, not so much for ME because I’m not that bad yet, but OHMYGOD it’s my father. Creepy shit, that.
madge
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 18:21@Mr Lady, SERIOUSLY. There’s a house in my neighborhood that has clearly been handed a City Will Throw You Out If You Don’t Get Rid Of This Shit ticket. The dumpster out front has apparently been emptied twice and you STILL can’t see in through the windows. Oh, he’s also got seven lawn mowers for sale out front, in case you needed one…!
Lee of MWOB
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 9:08Oh I love your sentimental heart. I’m kinda emotional thinking about those father and son moments too. That fishing box thing is awesome. And I don’t know jack about fishing.
I hoard too. And every time I start looking through the stuff, my life and its memories and my heart come alive to me again in an old and an entirely new way and I end up putting it all back only to do it again years later. The cycle of looking through the stuff.
But I would love to accept just a few things that I could get rid of. Maybe next time….
Jennifer
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 9:34I’ve got to do this. I just busted something ugly out of my mental closet. It’s time to do it to the bedroom closet too.
forgive me for sharing, but just in case my mental cleaning could be helpful for someone else
http://injennifershead.com/?p=1110
Maria
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 11:00That tackle box looks so familiar.
rita
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 11:16Um, yeah. I might have that problem too. Got it from my dad, his dad, my mom, her mom, and I’m stuck. We’re going through shit I’ve moved 7 times in the last 21 years that I haven’t ever looked at since it was packed. It is downright scary.
BusyDad
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 11:29I keep anything and everything with sentimental value. If Lisa would let me keep everything I wanted to keep, my garage would resemble the last scene of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Also, I will gladly keep that tackle box for you.
Debb
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 13:01I, too have just realized that I am a hoarder. As a matter of fact, I have applied to the show for help. Honestly it is that.bad.
I recently came across some information regarding hoarding and its relationship to seratonin levels. Bi-polar is affected by seratonin. hmmmmm. I am thinking maybe just maybe all my craziness is related. :)
Good Luck and anyone in or near Sin City that would like to help this hoarding and spastic mom give a shout out!
Chamuca
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 13:25I just found my caboodle in a box I’d stored in my dad’s woodshop. I even paid to get an metal nametag engraved for it. Good thing my name hasn’t changed since then. I can still use it!
Also in my dad’s woodshop, he has accumulated about 10,000 sticks of various sizes. We tell him he’s turning into his grandfather, who had collected about 1000 golf balls in styrofoam egg cartons, had saved the zippers out of countless pairs of old jeans, and held onto the taps off of shoes he had worn 50 years ago. No one knew how much stuff he had until he died.
Jaina
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 14:07Lipstick is one of those things I loved as a child, but don’t really use ever. Chapstick though, is my best friend. I am driven to distraction when my lips feel dry.
ralph
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 15:44beautiful and touching description of the box, it’s contents and meaning.
Ben Harper Tickets
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 17:46Wow! I can honestly relate with this post. Whenever I feel that way. it’s either I go to the salon and have a hair cut or clean my room. I organize my stuffs and trash the things I don’t need anymore. It’s like having the courage to let go of the things I really need to let go. I’m doing all of these things with the belief that some greater power will take care of me no matter what happens.
One Mom's Opinion
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 18:53You made me laugh and smile! I suggest you keep the tackle box and all it’s contents and make memories with your family especially since you all love to fish. I love you for saving it knowing the sentiment there, even if it wasn’t your family.
I have nothing from my childhood other than yearbooks, my mother saved nothing. I save what I feel might be important at some point with Harley or things that will remind his parents of him growing up.
Organization is sometimes, small steps. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Clean, organize and purge when you can and strive to do better. Paper is our only organizational issue. Our office is regularly overrun as it my IN boxes. Hubby saves anything that he feels I may someday possibly want, so I tend to ignore those boxes as it’s overwhelming.
Matt
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 18:56I see no problem with this.
mn
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 20:24when i read that first line i said to myself with joy – holy moley, a lipstick giveway!
but alas it was not to be. (here’s my address anyway…)
paper is my demon. i have piles here and there. my problem is i don’t have things to put things away in. i live in an apt.
and honestly i am at that point where i don’t hold on to everything. i’ve given away baby clothes bc i knew the donation would help someone. i’ve ripped up some of their childhood drawings bc i had too many. i’ve learned to sort, sort, sort. most of my mail i trash.
my fear is that if i were to die tomorrow, i wouldn’t want someone to have to go through cleaning my stuff up. so i have been majorly giving my stuff an overhaul and it seems to be working. i just want to achieve a peaceful surrounding. i don’t want to live for my stuff, i want to have stuff i like work for me.
hollysmom
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 20:42Well SOME saving is really cool. For instance, I had kept my braided friendship bracelets from 10th grade. I brought them out as proof that I was not a dork and my now uber cool 10th grade daughter snatched them up lickety split. She wears them daily and oohs and ahhs about the colors and designs. Some came from Grateful Dead shows my best friend used to go to so they are pretty cool and unique. I have achieved ‘cool mom” status from my hoarding!!
Amber
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 21:53I am convinced, like 100% certain, that my stuff reproduces behind closed doors. There is just no other explanation for why I have 3 copies of the same book, I’m sure. When we’re not looking, the lipsticks and the Amy Tan novels are up to no good, and pretty soon they’re numbering in the dozens. Because I most certainly am not to blame for such blind consumption, no way no how.
Michell
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 22:59As a fellow hoarder and shop-a-holic to top it all off I can understand this. I have so many things that I feel like I can’t possibly part with yet I haven’t used it in years and have moved it all too many times to count.
TheExpatresse
Thursday, 22 October, 2009 at 23:12I always win those contests at lunch where I make all my girlfriends present pull their lipsticks out of their purses to see who has the most. Mine are usually different brands but all the same color.
I have a bowl in a cupboard in the kitchen full of lipsticks. Why it is there, I dunno.
You should make an international move every few years. It’s great for purging.
But mostly I blame the kids. They bring shit home All. The. Time.
Kinder Egg prizes.
Empty glue sticks.
Bits of fabric.
Stray cats.
It never stops.
joanne
Friday, 23 October, 2009 at 5:16can I get another white chip, please??
Jennifer A
Friday, 23 October, 2009 at 16:57I still have my Caboodle. Its green. And may still have makeup in it from highschool. You just gave me an idea for a blog post. Thanks
Kristin
Sunday, 25 October, 2009 at 17:55I’m not sure I’ve said the word “caboodle” in 15 years. Huh.
Susan (5 Minutes for Mom)
Monday, 26 October, 2009 at 0:53I am such a pack rat that I can completely relate to holding onto someone else’s family treasures. My problem is I now live in a tiny townhouse, so I’ve had to let go of almost everything. So sad.
Keith Wilcox
Tuesday, 27 October, 2009 at 20:10This is my first visit to your blog. Love it! I have a box similar to that except it’s a tool box that I keep non tool related things in. I’ve had it since I was like 8 years old and I’ve always kept my most prized possessions in it. The thing about it is though that I rarely have a reason to open it so it keeps getting moved with us without a second thought. My boys are 5 and 6 and I haven’t even cracked it open for them. I have a piece of the Berlin wall in it, a sharks tooth I found in Oregon, a piece of the sail from my grandparents boat that they lived on for 20 years, and a bunch of other little things like that. It’s very cool. Anyway, this story made me think of it for the first time in a long time :-) Thanks.