You know what happens when you decide to be that asshole American who’s all, “If you people elect Bush again, I’m so totally moving to Canada”, and then you DO IT? Karma sees fit to deport your ass straight to his backyard, that’s what.
But if you’ve been really good at some point in your life, even if you can’t exact think of one single thing that would qualify you for karmic goodness, but it has to be there because karma decides to dish you out some goodness, you can at least get deported straight back to the backyard of the president you never had very kind words for which also happens to be occupied by all of the bloggers.
Or at least the comments on the last post tell me so. So for all of you who left nice words; thank you. For all of you in HOUSTON who left nice words; thank you, and I’m sorry I didn’t respond to every one of you like I meant to, but I just plain suck right now.
Also, I’m taking your asses up on it.
December 4th, downtown Houston, you, me and happy hour. Details are here. Be there or be somewhere else entirely.
But really, please just be there.
***Completely unrelated***
When I was 11 or 12, I sat in my bathroom sink one night with a roll of scotch tape and a bottle of Elmer’s glue and I tried, so hard, to find a way to make that tape sticky enough to put on my nose and yank out all of that crap clogging my little bitty pores.
I could be a kagabazillionaire right now, but then I’d be knee deep in the business of other people’s snow-capped miniature paper-mache forests, and not wasting everyone’s time changing the world as a blogger.
So I became a blogger. And met a guy named Jim. And we talked about opening a kids martial arts/UFC style studio, because he likes it and my kids like it and my husband likes it, but then we remember that someone had done that, too, and it didn’t end so well for the asian guy.
And then we had the epic idea to start a line of kids cooking utensils, because yeah, someone really should do that, except someone already did do that, but our kids did start a kids review blog and no kid has ever done that before and the people who made the kids cooking stuff gave them some to test and the resulting carnage is right here.
Tagged with: blogher holiday food drive, curious chef, houston bloggers, kid test labs, moving
VDog
Wednesday, 25 November, 2009 at 0:50You’re crackertastic, baby. Even for Texas.
Zakary
Wednesday, 25 November, 2009 at 1:25Texas won’t even know what hit them.
BusyDad
Wednesday, 25 November, 2009 at 4:02As indirect as it was, I have been likened to Bruce Lee. I can die happy now.
Audubon Ron
Wednesday, 25 November, 2009 at 4:10You must be stealing my material. My last post was about Karmarangs and also about you.
HOUSTON???!!! We’re practically neighbors. Why am I happy about that and you’re not.
Yo, let us talk about hurricanes…
Jacob
Wednesday, 25 November, 2009 at 4:37Elmers? I’m thinking Krazy Glue. Oh, shoot. Now everybody knows.
Tara R.
Wednesday, 25 November, 2009 at 6:57Texas has no idea of the fabuocity that has descended into its midst.
Hockeymandad
Wednesday, 25 November, 2009 at 8:32If you see our former pres with the W in his name walking about, kick him really hard in the shins for me. Just say “HMD thinks you’re a fucker” and walk away. That would be awesome. Do it in the summer time too so when he hits the street he feels the burn cause you could probably fry an egg on the street there in summer. In case the Secret Service reads this, just kidding.
I invented a new VCR but no one cares.
Pam
Wednesday, 25 November, 2009 at 9:21Dang. I was hopin’ you’d be closer to DFW. Sorry, Houston is a little far to go for drinks. Dang dang dang.
But welcome to Texas anyway. Any neighbors show up with cookies yet?
Mr Lady
Wednesday, 25 November, 2009 at 11:34@Pam, it is way far, huh? *sigh* And nope.
Pam
Thursday, 26 November, 2009 at 10:15@Mr Lady, Yeah, it is way far. Like I’m gonna be feelin’ the pain way far come March when I have to drive my kid there for a stinkin’ swim meet. Texas is a big freakin’ state. My first year here, I had to drive him from DFW to Corpus for a swim meet. I remember calling “home” (CA) and saying to my sister, “Help me! I’ve been driving for NINE HOURS and I’m STILL in the state of Texas!”
So. Your neighbors either suck or are waiting for you to make the first move. Time to break out all the bikes, scooters, skate boards, rip sticks, etc. and send your kids outside. Kids are the best ambassadors. ‘Nother hokey idea, but it worked for me: I had little business cards printed up (vistaprint.com does 500 for free) w/ all our names, phones & emails. The kids brought a handful to school and anytime there was someone remotely interesting in a “play date” kinda way, I knew no digits would be lost in translation.
Jennifer
Wednesday, 25 November, 2009 at 10:40Houston! It seems I’ve started an annual trip that far south. Family and shopping and the be-all end all of liquor stores, Specs. Seriously, it’s a liquor store the size of a Wal-Mart. And they have these cherries… OMG!
And I need to head down here soon anyway. Cousin with a new baby and all.
Can’t make it for drinks on the 4th, but I’ll let you know when we head down next.
Avitable
Wednesday, 25 November, 2009 at 11:24I’m half tempted to come to Houston just for the meet up.
Mr Lady
Wednesday, 25 November, 2009 at 11:33@Avitable, I have a very comfy couch.
Avitable
Wednesday, 25 November, 2009 at 11:37@Mr Lady, you don’t mind that I sleep in the nude, right?
monstergirlee
Wednesday, 25 November, 2009 at 11:41Did you notice in the comments on that photo that there is a flickr group called Biore? ewwww, double eewww.
Wish I could join the meet up. Enjoy!
Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy
Wednesday, 25 November, 2009 at 14:24Right now, I’m wondering how to re-arrange my schedule to include a road trip…
Jaina
Wednesday, 25 November, 2009 at 18:49Wish I was in Houston, sounds like fun! Loved the kids cooking utensil video. Totally rocked.
diamond dave
Wednesday, 25 November, 2009 at 21:47Houston, huh? I’m now only a 7 hour drive from you (and my stepmother). Planning on sticking around for a while?
TheExpatresse
Thursday, 26 November, 2009 at 0:18Um, remember that little election in 2000 when it all came down to Florida absentee ballots?
We were in Argentina at the time and I asked the Spouse to just fill mine out and mail it in since we all knew who we wanted and then we watched the teevee and it all looked good when we went to bed but in the morning it had all gone pear-shaped and I said to him, “Well, at least we mailed our ballots in,” and he got a real funny look on his face and said, “Actually, I never thought two absentee votes would matter . . .” and I started to cry because I knew something BAD was going to happen and it would ALL BE OUR FAULT.
I’m sorry.
Kristin
Thursday, 26 November, 2009 at 8:26@TheExpatresse, there’s a Futurama episode (saw it courtesy of the resident teenager) about Richard Nixon winning the universe by 4 votes and the 4 main characters all looked at each other and went “did you vote? I forgot to vote…it’s not like one vote makes a difference anyway” Oh well…. :)
Ree
Thursday, 26 November, 2009 at 8:25I tried to find a place in London to hide out since I was traveling through Heathrow in 2004. They found me and sent me back to live through 4 years of Bush anyway. Damned English.
Yea, there’s that hot Asian guy reference again. ;-)
Honey, Texas is effin’ lucky to have you.
Kristin
Thursday, 26 November, 2009 at 8:30Houston is way down there :( But seriously. Come up to Okie land for a visit to…um…ummmm….well, all the wonders that Oklahoma has to offer (and don’t make any smartass comments about OK having NOTHING because only Okies can make fun of their great state).
Remember your post a while back, I think in May, about the heat wave that hit and all your kids were in the sprinklers outside? And my comment was something to the effect of “your heat wave and mine are way different”…oh, sweetie, I hope you didn’t pack your winter clothes :)
tracey
Thursday, 26 November, 2009 at 10:11Oh why oh why oh why did I click on that Biore picture? A SUREFIRE way to avoid gaining weight on Thanksgiving day!
Well, not really. I’m not that grossed out that I would actually turn away a second helping of mashed potatoes and turkey guts.
Or pie.
Or wine…
the other neighbour
Thursday, 26 November, 2009 at 13:16CAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
Just in case you were starting to forget…
Now, go make new friends :)
the planet of janet
Friday, 27 November, 2009 at 22:48and so when you freakin’ leave canada, you go someplace just as freakin’ far from me as you were before???
gah.
Kathryn
Sunday, 29 November, 2009 at 22:35I will so be there, I’m coming right from work. I’m psyched that it’s downtown.
I’m sorry nobody’s shown up to welcome you. Wondering what part of town you live in, I’ll whip up some brownies and head over with a six pack of Shiner if it’ll cheer you up. :)
Lisa (the girls' moma)
Wednesday, 2 December, 2009 at 16:35Hey – I’ve been totally out of touch and here you go and move to freeeekin’ Houston. Wow. Now you’re only one state away, but still sooo many miles. Texas IS a freakishly large state. So I second Kristen’s idea that you come visit Oooooklahoma and see us!
Anyway. Hope the children-as-ambassadors idea works. I think that’s a pretty good idea.
Take care, hon. I’ll stop by more often…
Lisa