We are having company tomorrow. The Donor’s Canadian BFF is coming for dinner after they play 18 holes. He is, um, a chef.

Fuck.

A chef means I have one of two choices; I order pizza or I up my game. I am anti-pizza (unless it’s here with her) and really I have nothing that can come close to what a professional could pull off, so I decided to do the one thing they can’t pull off here in Canada, no matter how hard they try…Fish Tacos. I make a mean fish taco. Have you ever been to Wahoo’s? Stop what you’re doing and go. Now. It’s worth the airfare.

I kind of took what they do and guessed how to do it myself. I didn’t do half bad, yo. Tomorrow night, I am making the Crazy Fancy Version of what is just about the easiest dinner on the planet, but I’ll tell you how to make the Track and then Little League and Then Dinner at 8:30 Oh Shit I’ve Got Nothing to Cook version:

Cook some rice. I use basmati, almost exclusively, but use whatever you like best. You can sprinkle the rice with furikake after it’s steamed if you want, or not, up to you. If not, stir in a little chopped cilantro and some salt and pepper.

Take a few mahi mahi fillets and grill them (Fish and shrimp only take a few minutes on each side, just so you know). Squeeze a bunch of lime juice on them and then sprinkle them with my boyfriend Emeril’s Creole Seasoning*. Set them aside to rest.

Meanwhile, warm up some black beans, shred some cabbage and cheese (yes, I still shred my own cheese. Shut up.) Mix up a quick pico de gallo (tomatoes, onions, cilantro, salt & pepper.)

Flake out the fish and put it on a warm CORN tortilla. Top with cheese, pico, a little chopped cilantro and a lime wedge (or 30.) On the plate, scoop rice and black beans.

Serve.

That’s it. really. Our rice and beans go straight into the tacos. The Donor drowns them in Tapatio. I squeeze what probably ends up being an entire lime’s worth of juice on top. Either way, it’s our favorite dinner in under 20 minutes. I had pictures for you, but I lost them. I’ll take some of the FancyPants version tomorrow.

Dessert? Hells to the yeahs. My favorite dessert almost ever is Fruit Pizza. I make the whitest trashiest version of it, with sugar cookie dough crust and strawberry yogurt/cool whip sauce, but Fawnahareo blew my little mind with her much classier recipe the other day. Dag, yo. I’m so making that. Click through and bask in the light of the glory of her tasty deliciousness.

*They should really be paying me by this point, don’t you think?

PG warned me that videos are the new blogger crack. He was right. Thanks for the warning, and Joeprah ? You can expect a therapy bill in the mail soon.

And now, without further ado, my adorable child, doing adorable things.

Welcome, one and all, to (what I think is) my first Podcast! Without further ado….

Untitled from Mr Lady on Vimeo.

Last night, after almost a whole week of cooking nothing resembling decent food (hey, momma gets Spring Break too, right?) I was determined to actually make dinner.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s week three with no recipe. I just haven’t been in the cooking sort of mood, you know? It never fails to amaze me how long kids will go on Honeycomb and tacos. They don’t smell great, but my big pots and pans have enjoyed their little siesta.

Anywho, I thought I could at least talk about food today, and so, without further ado, I offer you the list of foods I prefer, nigh, demand, from a can.

• Refried beans. I used to work at this little diner in East Denver, and they made every-stinking-thing from scratch. Including their refried beans. They were really good, don’t get me wrong, but you set me up with a can of Old ElPaso beans and a block of cheese, and I’m all good for a while. At some point, I may require a potty, but otherwise, I’m good.
• Beets. I have a beet problem. I love them and crave them like a pregnant chick craves broccoli. What? Didn’t you crave broccoli? Moving on…I always just get the canned beets at the grocery, but I decided to live on the edge a little, splurge on myself, and get the fancy ones in a jar. Um? Gross. My BFF Molly tells me that the restaurant my buddy Ryan just opened up makes a kick-ass beet salad, but until I try it, I’m sticking with the cheap ass canned ones.
• Cranberry Sauce. I can whip up a cranberry chutney that will bring you to your knees. I make my own cranberry sauce all the time, because it’s easy and good and brainless. But when it’s just me, when I’m all alone and no one’s looking, man oh lordy do I love nothing better than a big ol’ spoon and a cheap can of cranberry sauce.
• Tuna. Any foodie worth their salt has made, eaten or in some way danced around the subject of seared Ahi. It’s all the rage with the kids these days. I would rather (insert colorful and perhaps biological comparison here) than let seared Ahi tuna anywhere near my body, let alone my face. A can of tuna + a package of crackers = a happy Mr Lady.
• Pumpkin. My BFF Molly just died. Molly is a pumpkin baker. I am just a pumpkin eater. Honestly, pumpkins gross me the hell out. Chock it off to never having carved a pumpkin until I was, like, 27 or something. Anyway, I love pumpkiny food, and bake with pumpkin a LOT, but will only use the plain, unspiced variety of pumpkin goo.

I imagine this list will grow as the day goes on, but for now, that’s really all I can think of. The question is, what are you cheap and lazy about?