There is a very good chance that my friend Chris and I are going to a show at the end of March. Correction: There is a good chance that I am tagging along behind my friend Chris to go to a show at the end of March. One of my favorite musicians is in town on the 26th and I saw on Chris’ Facebook page (I can’t believe I just said that) that he was going, and so I invited myself along.

I asked him where the show was.

He replied, “Dicks on Dicks*.”

Now, I can tell you where every single kid thing ever in downtown Vancouver is, I don’t know Thing One about adult stuff. I do know where the Five Star Titty Bar is, thanks to my darling man having two months here without me one summer. A boy’s gotta do what a boy’s gotta do, you know?

Point is, I know nothing about the bar scene downtown, but I do know this is a pretty progressive town, what with the pink bus stops and all, and so I thought nothing of a bar called Dicks on Dicks.

And so.

I googled.

Dicks on Dicks, Vancouver.

Fish and chips, scroll down, sporting goods, scroll down, BAM. There it is. What any idiot knew was there, but I didn’t.

Fuck you, Chris.**

*Richard’s bar on Richard’s street, FYI.