Mr Lady was born in 1975 via emergency cesarean. This hasn’t affected her at all; well, except that given the choice, she'd rather leave the house through the window than the door.

She grew poor, white trash in a part of the country where the only way you could be poor is if you were also black, so she never really liked white people all that much and can braid like a motherfucker. She loves cocoa-butter and kind of hates Jesus, but that's because she also grew up in an awesome Judeo-Christian cult. While she's since come to her senses, her husband still has it pretty fucking good. But she hates anything that covers her head.

She moved to Colorado in 1992. After a good bout with altitude sickness and a wee bit of frostbite, she realized that you can get drunk way faster one mile up. Denver is awesome and and she decided to stay for a while.

She fell in love with a boy, married him and had his children, just not in that order. They've been together for 16 years now, and married for 13, and they finally like each other. These things take time, you know. She started her personal blog, Whiskey in my Sippy Cup, in January of 2005 and she still can't figure out why anyone reads it, or why she keeps writing it, for that matter.

She has absolutely no formal education in anything, aside from the 2 1/2 years she spent in one of the nation's top vocational public high schools, where she majored in Technical Drafting. This has done her no good whatsoever except that she can do her kid's algebra homework in, like, five seconds flat. She spent her twenties making martinis and babies, both mostly in bars. She's spending her thirties wondering why, exactly, hair chooses to keep growing out of her neck.

She loathes social networking, but she also loathes multi-vitamins yet takes those everyday, too, so why the hell not. She adores photography, trying to sew, the good rap, and anything John Irving writes. She thinks she is funnier than she is. She imagines that she has great taste in music. She can cook, just not cookies.

Oh god, not cookies.