Dear Elvis,

I just thought I'd drop a line to say happy birthday. I didn't forget; how could I forget? You are, after all, the king. I hope your day has been great...full of gravy and babes. You know, I never really got around to saying thanks, so thanks! Thanks for filling the void in my dear aunt Darlene's life. God knows what she would have seen fit to tattoo every square inch of her body with, had you not been around. And do you remember when you played Madison Square Garden, and were all drunk but still sang Never Been to Spain, forgot much of the middle of the song and slurred your way through what you could remember? Well, it kinda gave me the chills. Yep. it made stuff tingle. Thanks.

P.S. I was gonna pick up a birthday present for you, but since you've been a little *cough* dead & all, I spent the money on something for myself. I hope you don't mind!