if I could be a scientist...If I could be a farmer...If I could be a musician...If I could be a doctor...If I could be a painter...If I could be a gardener...If I could be a missionary...If I could be a chef...If I could be an architect...If I could be a linguist...If I could be a psychologist...If I could be a librarian...If I could be an athlete...If I could be a lawyer...If I could be an inn-keeper...If I could be a professor...If I could be a writer...If I could be a llama-rider...If I could be a bonnie pirate...If I could be an astronaut...If I could be a world famous blogger...If I could be a justice on any one court in the world...If I could be married to any current famous political figure...

If I could be a scientist...I would join a team of storm chasers. I'd answer all the technical questions and my big brain would give our team an edge over some of the others. I think I'd most want to chase lightening storms and tornados. We'd drive a big RV and drink too much. Maybe we'd stumble across some bit of information that ended up saving untold lives, but I wouldn't so it for that. I'd do it because storms are beautiful. And thrilling.

If I could be an architect...I'd travel the country redesigning public schools. I would take the drab, uninspiring building I find along the way and scrap them for open buildings with lots of plants and water and courtyards full of easels and grass. I think that the biggest problem with getting kids to go to school is how depressing the buildings are. Case in point: When they built my high school, they copied the blueprint of the county jail. Exactly. That just can't be conducive to learning.

If I could be a musician...I would play bass in a small local band. I would be the best of friends with all my band-mates. We would play all kinds of music. We would never hit the big time, nor would we ever play gigs. We'd just jam in my living room, where my kids could sit by our feet and listen and be inspired. My kids would fall asleep to laughter and music. Just like I did.

If I could be a llama rider...I'd get spit on. A lot.

If I could a painter...I would paint nothing but self-portraits. At first people would think I was completely wacko, and then they would wonder why the hell I didn't paint something else, and eventually I would be deemed a genius. Ahead of my time. I should clarify, they would not be portraity portraits. They would all be slightly askew, over-accentuating some random part of myself. For example, in one my fingers would be too large. Maybe one would only be in shades of blue. Perhaps I'd paint a jigsaw puzzle of my t-zone and then slice up the canvas so you could actually put it together. I could sell it to strangers in small boxes for $5.99 and soon my art would be in every living room in Denver soon.

I think I might get on that last one.