if I could be a scientist...If I could be a farmer...If I could be a musician...If I could be a doctor...If I could be a painter...If I could be a gardener...If I could be a missionary...If I could be a chef...If I could be an architect...If I could be a linguist...If I could be a psychologist...If I could be a librarian...If I could be an athlete...If I could be a lawyer...If I could be an inn-keeper...If I could be a professor...If I could be a writer...If I could be a llama-rider...If I could be a bonnie pirate...If I could be an astronaut...If I could be a world famous blogger...If I could be a justice on any one court in the world...If I could be married to any current famous political figure...

If I could be a scientist...I would join a team of storm chasers. I'd answer all the technical questions and my big brain would give our team an edge over some of the others. I think I'd most want to chase lightening storms and tornados. We'd drive a big RV and drink too much. Maybe we'd stumble across some bit of information that ended up saving untold lives, but I wouldn't do it for that. I'd do it because storms are beautiful. And thrilling.

If I could be an architect...I'd travel the country redesigning public schools. I would take the drab, uninspiring building I find along the way and scrap them for open buildings with lots of plants and water and courtyards full of easels and grass. I think that the biggest problem (well, maybe not the biggest) with getting kids to go to school is how depressing the buildings are. Case in point: When they built my high school, they copied the blueprint of the county jail. Exactly. That just can't be conducive to learning.

If I could be a musician...I would play bass in a small local band. I would be the best of friends with all my band-mates. We would play all kinds of music. We would never hit the big time, nor would we ever play gigs. We'd just jam in my living room, where my kids could sit by our feet and listen and be inspired. My kids would fall asleep to laughter and music. Just like I did.

If I could be a llama-rider...I'd get spit on. A lot.

If I could be a painter...I'd paint nothing but self portraits. At first people would think I was wacko, and then they'd wonder why the hell I didn't paint something else, and eventually they'd deem me a genius. Ahead of my time. I should clarify, they wouldn't be portraity portraits. They'd all be slightly askew, over-emphasizing some random part of me. And almost cartoon-ish. But not quite. In one, perhaps, my fingers would be too big. Another might be only in shades of blue. Maybe I could paint a small jigsaw puzzle of my T-zone and then mount and slice the canvas so that you could actually put it together. I'd sell the paintings in a small cardboard box for $5.99, and soon I'd be on every coffee table in Denver. And then, the world!