wednesday stuff

The 24th Carnival of Education is up. Haven't had a chance to read it yet, so maybe more on it tomorrow.

One of the few "mommy blogs" that I read is written by Beth (ok, both mommy blogs that I read are written by Beth's. Odd.) It's called So the Fish said. Her husband and she both write very nice blogs. There are links to both right over there. Anyway, Beth is pregnant with her first and having a scheduled c-section on Friday. Just thought I'd mention it. New babies are exciting, indeed!

Going to the cardiologist tomorrow. Scared out of my mind. There's an old Buddhist saying that goes, "One sickness, long life. No sickness, short life." Or something like that. It has to do with accepting your limitations and recognizing your weaknesses. I fully subscribe to that, in theory. But when in comes to my heart, I am used to sitting around avoiding it, I think. I am worried that they'll tell me it's nothing, and I will have spent 30 years being ultra careful and missing out on so many things for nothing. I am just as scared that they will tell me that it's serious enough to warrant repair. After 30 years with very few complications (just 4 mild heart attacks in my late teens during a nervous breakdown) am I willing to let someone crack me open? They cracked dear old dad open twice, and he almost didn't wake up twice.

I have always been able to blame my parents for not handling this when they should have. After tomorrow, I will have no one to blame but myself. No more passing the buck on this one. Yuck.