Isn't Halloween on TUESDAY?

My guys at my bar found some quote Sweet unquote Priest costumes to wear to work tonight. They, being dirty, dirty birds decided that we all should dress in like-minded outfits. My pleas for alter boy costumes were quickly shot down and trumped by the bah-rilliant idea to dress us all up as trampy little girls with pigtails, plaid skirts and some serious issues revolving around our Lord and Savior.

Let me share with you why I hate this idea.

One: I just dropped $50 on a skirt I will never, ever wear again, unless, of course, sometime far from now I find a boy who's into that sort of thing. Maybe I'll hold onto it.

Two: My bar is full of couches and tables not much higher than you will find in a good Japanese restaurant. My point is that I spend the majority of my night bent almost all the way over. My skirt barely clears my undies. Barely.

Three: Pigtails are for children. Period. I have ridiculously fabulous hair and the last thing I feel like doing is pulling it up like Pippi freaking Longstocking.

I did, however, NEED the skin tight white shirt and the black bra, so that's worked out ok for me. Otherwise, I am beyond perturbed about this whole thing.

I realize that this post will probably compel a few of you to come to my bar tonight. Bygones. I had better make $5,000 tonight. Argh.