it's beginning to look a lot like a blizzard...

...or: Why you should finish your Christmas shopping well before December 20th.

There are, what, 5 days left until Christmas? I am no where near done shopping. Good thing God hates Christmas and is currently dumping a few feet of snow on Denver.

Now all anyone is getting is bubble wrap*.

My kids have been students of Denver Public Schools for 4 years now, and this is the first snow day they have ever had. There were super excited. Now they are on each others' nerves. Five kids + one blizzard + no Robitussin = two sad mommies**.

It is frightening good timing on the part of the USPS that they delivered this to me yesterday:

Five boxes. From Canada. Contents? Boots, sweaters, coats, clothing. Yippee Ka Ay motha fucka!

They also delivered this:

From this stunning boy:

Must be nice to be a supermodel and shit.

Molly also came through in a big way with the CD's:

There are actually 4 CD's but one was in the car and I am a lazy schmuck. Thanks, Molls. You're totally going to heaven.

My darling daughter has been very, very sick but awoke this morning without the fossilized boogies she has had encrusted to her big fat cheeks all week. The hellish screaming was kept at a minimal today. I think she is on the mend. Which is good news for her, 'cause I was starting to doubt she was going to make it to see her second birthday.

Hey, if you talk to Santa, will you tell him that L really, truly only wants her two front teeth? That would be great.

Oh, yeah, one other thing. I went crazy ass shopping yesterday with my two favorite girls and am sitting here typing right now in a pair of the hottest jeans the world has ever known or ever will know. It's good you can't see would totally have to make out with me if you did. I couldn't be helped. They're that hot.

More on shopping day later. I have to go drink hot chocolate***.

*Bubble wrap is not only a perfectly fine gift, but I think it is on my top ten all time favorite gifts, to both give and receive. So back off.

**Where's those Schnapps?

***Seriously, where is that bottle of Peppermint Schnapps already?