changing of the guard

Today was the last day of school. I would have cute graduation pictures from the kindergarten ceremony, but I think I threw my camera away this morning in the scramble to get the trash into the alley before it got picked up and the graduation caps for 50 kids and the antipasto skewers I made for the teachers' luncheon and the programs for the graduation and the graduate and his brother and screaming sister out the door on time and looking like we'd all bathed sometime this decade. I did take 10 minutes in between the 2nd grade author's celebration (adorable stories to be scanned in and posted soon) and the pinning of the paper caps to little nappy heads of hair to run to the corner grocery and buy a disposable camera, and although it was an outdoor camera I'll bet upon developing I will have at least one good shot of my little kindergartener-no-more to share with you.

It's been quite a day. I cried, though probably not for the reasons you think. Yes, the kid was cute in his little Nordstrom button down and tie, and yes he is all grown up, but I held it totally together until school let out and all the kids were gone home. I had to go back in the school for something or the other and I stood in the middle of the hallway and I realized all at once that I no longer had keys to the school. I had handed them over to the (very cool, Molly) mom who replaced me on the PTA. The halls were empty, my kids were gone, and just like that we were no longer part of that school. It made me cry. I have spent three years of my life trying to be a voice for these kids, a helper to their parents and their teachers, trying to make a difference in their lives. I think I did. I surely feel like I did. But now someone else will take my place, B's friends will move on without him, T's friends will probably forget his name come first grade. It makes me sad. We were a really good fit there. We made some amazing friends, my kids had a few extraordinary teachers and we have enough memories to get us through quite a while. But I'm still sitting here sad to the core.

We had better really, really like Vancouver.