da' rulz

Things that will get your hand slapped:

• Posting the name of a child on this blog. I'll delete faster than you could ever imagine.
• Using my comments section as a place to justify your very, very naughty behavior
• Calling nasty names
• Acting like a 5 year old
• Behaving so badly that my friend has to call me all the way from Denver to tell me what's going on and then hack into my blog to delete your little temper tantrums because I'm moving and have no internet access.

Things that will get a big old bar of soap in your mouth

• Using the C word. Honestly, c*#k kinda makes me chuckle a little bit, but c*%t is just crude. We are grown-ups here, people. Vulgar names do not become us.
• Using fuck as a verb. The only acceptable usage of fuck is as an adjective or noun. And I'm touchy on the noun usage. Example 1: The fucking fuckers who decided it would be ok to plaster the name of a toddler all over my blog are fucking twisted fucks--perfectly ok. Example 2: Someone really needs to flip over that woman and fuck her properly--maybe not appropriate for a family site. I'll delete it. I promise you, I will.
• Saying that my kid is ugly. Or dumb. Just in case you were thinking about doing it.

I swear to Jesus on high and all that is holy, if you cannot play nicely with each other I will send you to your rooms and by the time I let you out your underwear will be out of style. I'm not kidding. Just try me.