;)
Wednesday
Nov072007
Hey, you asked for it
Wednesday, November 7, 2007 at 11:24AM
I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I have been putting off this post for years. But I had to go and add the stupid category into the stupid poll and now I have to write this stupid post.
Sex. We're going to talk about sex. I'm totally fine talking about sex normally; I've had THE TALK with both boys, my doctor and I have no secrets, and if I'm in a room with a little too much football talk, I have no problem in the world saying "Vagina", not too but almost too loud for comfort. That word hushes a crowd, let me tell you.
See? There? Totally dodging the subject.
Have your kids ever walked in on you? If they haven't, they're gonna. Soon, probably. I walked in on my dad once, when I was 18. So. Not. Cool.
Grrr, I'm off topic again.
Ok, I'm just going to come out and say it. One day, 1of3 walked in on mommy and daddy at a rather inconvenient time for walking in on mommy and daddy. He wasn't older than 1 year; he was still 1of1 at the time. So, he walked in, and god knows how long he stood there before he said, "Momma? Daddy? Momma! DADDY!!!" And then he ran over, and then he started punching his daddy.
Good for him, taking care of his mom like that.
While dad was trying to stop the beating, 1of3 kept saying, "Daddy, what doing MOMMA?" Daddy's reply, and this is where it pays to think on your feet, was, "Daddy's bouncing on momma! Do YOU want to bounce on momma, too?"
Hell yes he did. Bouncin's what 1of3's do best. And so began the happiest fun time ever, Operation Permission to Jump on Momma. Momma almost ended up with a collapsed lung and a broken nose, but momma has one un-scarred-for-life baby boy.
So when they walk in on you, and they will, I certainly hope you remember this little parenting tip. And otherwise, I seriously hope that you forget that I discussed my sex life in any small way with you.
Sex. We're going to talk about sex. I'm totally fine talking about sex normally; I've had THE TALK with both boys, my doctor and I have no secrets, and if I'm in a room with a little too much football talk, I have no problem in the world saying "Vagina", not too but almost too loud for comfort. That word hushes a crowd, let me tell you.
See? There? Totally dodging the subject.
Have your kids ever walked in on you? If they haven't, they're gonna. Soon, probably. I walked in on my dad once, when I was 18. So. Not. Cool.
Grrr, I'm off topic again.
Ok, I'm just going to come out and say it. One day, 1of3 walked in on mommy and daddy at a rather inconvenient time for walking in on mommy and daddy. He wasn't older than 1 year; he was still 1of1 at the time. So, he walked in, and god knows how long he stood there before he said, "Momma? Daddy? Momma! DADDY!!!" And then he ran over, and then he started punching his daddy.
Good for him, taking care of his mom like that.
While dad was trying to stop the beating, 1of3 kept saying, "Daddy, what doing MOMMA?" Daddy's reply, and this is where it pays to think on your feet, was, "Daddy's bouncing on momma! Do YOU want to bounce on momma, too?"
Hell yes he did. Bouncin's what 1of3's do best. And so began the happiest fun time ever, Operation Permission to Jump on Momma. Momma almost ended up with a collapsed lung and a broken nose, but momma has one un-scarred-for-life baby boy.
So when they walk in on you, and they will, I certainly hope you remember this little parenting tip. And otherwise, I seriously hope that you forget that I discussed my sex life in any small way with you.
Reader Comments (11)
ARCI for NovBlow&Go
You write it, I read it!
Q: Have your kids ever walked in on you? If they haven't, they're gonna. Soon, probably.
A: No, but when I was a kid my mother would knock on the bathroom door and say, “Stop playing with that.”
thank god i've never walked in on my parents, but there were a few times in high school i heard their headboard knock against the wall. i persuaded myself to believe that it was just my dad rolling over in his sleep and turned up my radio.
i'm secretly glad that they're not the kind of parents who only do it the same number of times as they have kids, but if asked face-to-face, i'll swear they purchased us at Babies 'r' Us. because that's the only place you can buy Good Indian Kids.
That? Is hilarious. I can feel you squirming through the lines.
And I love the TMI label!
Argh!!! The vision of that is burning my eyes!!!
Just kidding.
Declan has never walked in on us, I never walked in on my parents, but Bryan walked in on his. NOT A PRETTY SIGHT.
Cadiz12...I don't know about that. I've found some fine looking Indian kids in the ethnic section of the grocery store. It's been tempting. :)
Aimee...see your email for the response to that.
TGM...just wait until I copy all the OLD TMI posts. They get much better than that.
Ron...Ewww.
We lock the door, but twice lately I noticed that I didn't close the door. Harley would freak out if he ever walked in on us.
snicker. go check out thedanafiles and read her story from Sunday - :)
Oh Lord. I have too many stories about this. Too many stories.
My parents woke me up a few times as a kid. My mother is uh *ahem* quite loud.
I teased her for weeks, next thing I knew, I was sleeping in a caravan. Good times.
I haven't had Amy walk in on us yet, although she has woken up at some inconvenient times crying.
Other people walking in on me though? That is another story altogether.
I can relate to Veronica. My Mom was loud too. Though, we would have never teased her over it. We would have gotten decked.
I'm glad i've never had to say the word "my mom was loud too."
That was a hilarious story.
Bouncy bouncy bouncy.