There's a first time for everything

Today I did something I ain't nevah done before. I skipped one of my kids school things.

1of3 joined the choir at school when he found out they didn't offer band until 7th grade (which is totally obnoxious; I mean, the kid was 1st chair in 2nd grade. Come off it, people. He can play.) He's digging it so far, and today they had a Remembrance day celebration at school. The choir performed.

This was a school performance, and no flyers came home about it or anything, and I only knew about it because he told me about it, and the secretary at the school didn't even know what time the choir was performing when I called today to find out about it.

I'm sure I would have been the only parent there if I did go. The thing is, though, that he asked to me come and was excited for me to be there, and the fact that I was really super tired this morning and am working on one of my infamous migraines today and that I couldn't even make it to the shower before 9:30 this morning are all just excuses; I just didn't feel like going. And so I didn't.

I shuffle them around every day to swimming or to hockey or to the grocery store or the book store or wherever it is they have to be, and today, well, I just said Screw It. I said I wanted to watch Lost. In my sweatpants. Without any makeup on. Without brushing my hair. You'd think this would be totally liberating.

It is not totally liberating. I feel absolutely horrible about it.

Today, I decided to take an hour all to myself to do absolutely nothing, and I have absolutely nothing to show for it. The house is still a mess and my hair is still not brushed and I don't have even one poorly lit, slightly out of focus picture of my kid at his very first choir concert.

And even though he says he doesn't care, and that it's no big deal at all that I missed it, I can't help but think that somewhere, deep down, he learned today that mom doesn't always come through like she says she will, and that today I disappointed him.

But that first season of have I gone this long without it?