;)
Friday
Dec282007
Dear God in Heaven
Friday, December 28, 2007 at 10:14PM
I need your help.
See, a few years ago, I sat my kids down to watch Cloak and Dagger. I appreciate that my kids could never, ever understand what the hell an Atari 2600 is, but still, they could've liked the movie if they just opened their minds up to it. They didn't, and it caused a bit of a rift in the family.
Next, I tried Explorers. No luck there, either. Is it possible that both of my children were mistakenly switched at birth?
I thought that perhaps they were a bit too young for such awesomeness, so I waited a little and then, well, and then I pulled out my Trump Card. Yes, that's right, we snuggled up and with ice cream AND popcorn, we watch The Goonies. I was sure this was going to Do The Trick. We were going to be eternally bonded in the ties of holy Goontramony.
Not. So.
Who hates the Goonies? My idiot children, that's who.
I waited more, and prayed to you for an answer, and the answer came to me with trumpets and rainbows and bright, shining light. The Princess Bride.
Duh.
We went in again, this time with even better snackage, but it was no use. Pokemon and grand Theft Auto have rotted the taste receptors in their brains. I almost mailed them to the South Pacific that night.
Tonight, dear lord, tonight I am desperate. I wanted to wait a little longer for this one, but I am at the end of my rope here, and I thought maybe, just maybe, it would work. If it doesn't, I don't know what I'm going to do. I might have to rent them out or list them on eBay or something.
So, if, in your infinite wisdom, you see fit to help a girl out, a girl who has said some rather questionable things about you in the past, I would be grateful. Please, Lord, please let them like Labyrinth*.
*Oddly enough, even as I type this, I am asking myself if this movie is all I cracked it up to be. Maybe it's just because I've seen Jennifer Connelly naked, and now she's not a plausible theater geek to me anymore. Maybe it's David Bowie's hair. Seriously, What The Fuck?
See, a few years ago, I sat my kids down to watch Cloak and Dagger. I appreciate that my kids could never, ever understand what the hell an Atari 2600 is, but still, they could've liked the movie if they just opened their minds up to it. They didn't, and it caused a bit of a rift in the family.
Next, I tried Explorers. No luck there, either. Is it possible that both of my children were mistakenly switched at birth?
I thought that perhaps they were a bit too young for such awesomeness, so I waited a little and then, well, and then I pulled out my Trump Card. Yes, that's right, we snuggled up and with ice cream AND popcorn, we watch The Goonies. I was sure this was going to Do The Trick. We were going to be eternally bonded in the ties of holy Goontramony.
Not. So.
Who hates the Goonies? My idiot children, that's who.
I waited more, and prayed to you for an answer, and the answer came to me with trumpets and rainbows and bright, shining light. The Princess Bride.
Duh.
We went in again, this time with even better snackage, but it was no use. Pokemon and grand Theft Auto have rotted the taste receptors in their brains. I almost mailed them to the South Pacific that night.
Tonight, dear lord, tonight I am desperate. I wanted to wait a little longer for this one, but I am at the end of my rope here, and I thought maybe, just maybe, it would work. If it doesn't, I don't know what I'm going to do. I might have to rent them out or list them on eBay or something.
So, if, in your infinite wisdom, you see fit to help a girl out, a girl who has said some rather questionable things about you in the past, I would be grateful. Please, Lord, please let them like Labyrinth*.
*Oddly enough, even as I type this, I am asking myself if this movie is all I cracked it up to be. Maybe it's just because I've seen Jennifer Connelly naked, and now she's not a plausible theater geek to me anymore. Maybe it's David Bowie's hair. Seriously, What The Fuck?
Reader Comments (25)
at the risk of lifetime banning, i admit i am terrified of zoë's future-potential dune love. her dad is going to try to integrate it asap and i for one, would prefer the safety of all of those damn disney sex-related hidden messages. i just can't do fantasy, sorry.
i've sat my kids down, in front of bill and ted's excellent adventure and, with great relief...they love it!!! yay! same with the princess bride...i know, different caliber of movies...bill and ted's, far more cerebral ;)
labryrinth, i think i loved, back in the day...cause of bowie...sigh
BILL AND TED'S.
EXCELLENT.
Why didn't I think of that?
Dear God is right! How can anyone NOT like the Goonies????
I didn't see the goonies until I was 21 years old. I'm not sure why I missed it. I have a feeling it's because no one in my family wanted to take me. Is it PG? I don't know why.
At any rate, seeing it for the first time as a college student was not a good experience. I couldn't shit on my friends favorite movie of their childhoods, but really, it's not a universally good movie, like, to an adult.
The Princess Bride thing breaks my heart. I haven't tried it on The Kid yet. I don't doubt it would take a certain mood to get him to watch it. I did force him to watch Its a Wonderful Life with me last week. He stuck it out, but mostly because he was enjoying watching me burst into tears every three minutes, as I love that movie so...
Okay, aside from the first and second seasons of the Muppet Show(available now), The Muppet Movie, The Great Muppet Caper, The Dark Crystal, Willow, Jim Henson's the Storyteller series... Try Tron(you should know this) or The Last Starfighter.
Failing that, pump them full of Python and the good Mel Brooks films. You know you want to.
Wow... they didn't like The Goonies or the Princess Bride?? I think perhaps you should take out that ad now 'cuz there's no hope. Really.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.
Mas Younon,
Who art thou? Who art thou who makes the FORBIDDEN Tron reference, who has seen the Last Starfighter?
I think I love you.
Oh, yeah, they HEART Willow and The Muppets and all the Monty Python, especially the Spanish Inquistion bit. Didn't expect it, did you? No One Does. And we have burned through more Muppet episodes than it is proper to speak of in public.
Okay. I like Goonies, but not in a big way. It took me a long time to get into it. Princess Bride - you have to get used to the humor. And Labyrinth is the best movie ever. I love it. Jennifer Connelly in that film is the only movie star I've ever been compared to. And who doesn't love David Bowie? Come on...
I think they are safe. They like Monty Python! What could be better than that?
Good luck with Labyrinth.
Explorers! I LOVED that movie! I loved it to the exclusion of all other movies! Except my sister loved Goonies, so I had to love it to since we had to watch it every single day.
I moved to Astoria, where Goonies is set, when I got my first job. I lived NEXT DOOR TO THE GOONIES HOUSE!!!! It was very exciting. Other people of our generation thought so too, and there were always Goonie tourists around, trying to see the sights.
OMG! A love for those movies is going to be in my kids DNA. My hubby is the biggest sci-fi fantasy nerd on the planet. He actually knows the song from Labyrinth, something about the babe with the powers of voodoo. He sings it around the house. If they don't like it now, they'll like it in college. I spent many a night trippin to the baby crawling on the ceiling.
All of these movies rock. I will crawl in a hole and cry if my children don't get the total awesomeness that is C&D or Labyrinth or Goonies.
And The Princess Bride, I will disown my daughter.
Thanks for the wonderful walk down fav movies lane!
I have something for you over on my page... come see.
Geez... I can not wait until my kids are old enough to sit and watch those movies with me.
When does that happen? Can't wait. Must go and buy the Muppets now.
I stumbled across your blog while surfing through Thursday 13 sites.
I tried this same thing with my daughter over the past few years. Princess bride was the one that did it for us she loved it.
A friend invited us over and we watched Monster Squad. She just didn't get in to it at all.
Randilin
http://betweentheticks.wordpress.com
I almost hate to admit this but I don't think I've ever seen Labrynth.
There is something wrong with your children, I am sorry to say it, but those are classic movies....I mean we got our children hooked on Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Mr. Lady,
I cannot believe that I forgot these "classics."
Ghostbusters
Real Genius
Ladyhawke
Should your brood be unreceptive to these films...there's always drugs.
P.S.
It's never too late for Chaplin, Keaton or the Marx Brothers.
LADYHAWKE.
Seriously, dude, who the hell are you? I must know.
Good leapin' lord damnit, I love all of these movies. And Jennifer Connelly naked. A lot. Hell, I own half of these movies.
Man, I'm about to go on an eighties movie jag next week. Prioritizing is going to be a bitch.
Carrie, SHUT UP! That's the coolest shit ever. I saw the house once, but you win the awesome prize.
Ok, it's time for me to go to Blockbuster.
The kids loved Goonies, and it's time to turn them on to Bill and Ted!
"Seriously, dude, who the hell are you? I must know."
As the Man in Black would say, "Get used to disappiontment."
Really? Are you yanking my chain? This puts me in an interesting situation. I think you do know, and are setting me up for ridicule. However, if you're not, I then have several options:
1. Fess up(less fun).
2. Play 20 Quesions(slightly more fun).
3. I could give you hints until you figure it out(level of difficulty is up to you).
Other darker forgotten flicks:
Scrooged
(holiday, I know but still great)
James and the Giant Peach
(not an 80's film, but I'm sure they're no stranger to The Nightmare Before Christmas)
The Secret of NIMH
Forgot to make this easy and off your blog. Apologies.
masyounon@gmail.com