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« Stuff that scares me...A continuing series | Main | Eat your heart out, Norman Rockwell* »
Monday
Dec032007

That's Mister Stupidpants to you, sir!

Breakfast!

I haven't been to the dentist since I was 18. I have made up for that by going twice in two weeks so far, and 11 *gasp* fillings later, all the big work is done. Before you call me Dippy McDumbshitpants, let me assure you that I am paying for it, dearly, today. Good flippin' god, my mouth hurts.

I'm not afraid of the dentist in any way; in fact, I totally dig going to the dentist. Perhaps overly. However, every time I'm fixing to go, one of those kids either needs new shoes or a backpack or, and this happens with shocking frequency, I schedule an appointment and 2 days later get a positive pregnancy test. I don't know if you can go to the dentist while you're pregnant, but I'm a safer than sorrier kind of chick.

Yes, I know that I am supposed to take care of myself, too, and not just the kids, but before you go a'judgin', ask yourself how many times you've left the house looking like this...So, I'm taking care of all of this stuff now, and that means one thing:

I have to eat more antibiotics than I have ever consumed in my whole life.

I have this little heart thing. I was born with it, like my reddish hair* and the birthmark on my hip. Except that you don't have to premed for a birthmark, and the reddish hair just means they have to give you twice as much Novocaine to get you good and numb. I hate Novocaine, but I hate it even more when they don't give you enough and no one knows it but the nerve in your back tooth, and when the nerve decides to tell you, the nerve tells everyone in a 10-foot radius.

I'm rambling. Mostly because I can't talk with 2/3 of my face right now. But my teeth are (almost) all better, and I learned my Go To The Damn Dentist Already lesson. And thank god I don't take the pill, because I'd be knocked up for sure by now.

*The hair on my head is not reddish anymore, but the....oops, there's that pesky personal boundary line again. Almost tripped over it that time.

Reader Comments (15)

What the boogity-boo is on Britbrit's face?

For some things in life, it's best not to ask.

December 3, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMr Lady

You are right. Apologies.

December 3, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMishelle

Oh. My.

11 fillings? In two visits? Seriously?

You are one tough chick. Now I'm a little scared of you - if we go for coffee, you might whoop my sorry little ass!!!!

BTW - on that front, as of later this week I'll have family in town right through to the New Year. Read: in-house babysitter. Maybe we can find our middle ground...

December 3, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterlattemommy

well I HATE the dentist so I would have approved that reason as well!

December 3, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterdawn224

well...it's only been 4 years since i've gone to the dentist. let's talk about the gynecologist, though! lately, it seems that i've had to cancel appointments for ridiculous...er...legitimate reasons like sickness and stuff...no pregnancies, though. no way! i'm done with that part! thank you god!

December 3, 2007 | Unregistered Commentersuchsimplepleasures

Ugh. I hate the dentist. Hate. Really.

December 3, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie Dillinger

Adore the hat!

December 3, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSisterKatherine

You may have succeeded in frightening me into going to the dentist. Which would be quite a feat, since no one else has accomplished this in, oh, about 12 years.

December 3, 2007 | Unregistered Commentermeloukhia

I need to go and visit the dentist. One of my fillings fell out about 12mths ago and I haven't had it fixed yet.

Maybe when I can afford it...

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterVeronica

Dentist + I can guarantee at least 2 fillings, perhaps a root canal and they'll want to take my wisdoms since I don't take proper care of them + codeine allergy = scared....

PS. Thank for linking, you rock.

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterHuckdoll

Like you couldn't have used a string and a door?

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAudubon Ron

My longest stretch without a dentist was six years, I think. I paid for it dearly. Feel better.

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterrudecactus

Thanks for scaring the crap out of me. I haven't been to the dentist in almost 10 years (being poor and prioritizing...). It's going to be hideous.

December 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

LOL!! That's all i can do. Just laugh.
Hope you're all better now.

December 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

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