;)
Friday
Dec072007
The only thing I'm willing to quit is quitting
Friday, December 7, 2007 at 2:21PM
I hate quitting. Anything. Smoking, doubly so.
It's not that it's oh so terribly hard for me to quit; in fact, I cold-turkey quit every single time I've ever done it. All 6 times or so. OK, maybe that I've had to re-quit 6 times or so means it's an eencey bit harder than I'm willing to admit. It's just that I like smoking and it's the one grown up thing I get to do every day.
Somebody asked why I quit. I don't really know, exactly. There are a few reasons.
One is that I am a cheap cheap bastard and when I look at the monthly budget and realize we spend more on cigarettes every month than we do our groceries, well, I take issue with that. Smoking is more expensive than crack here.
Another reason is that I have been going to the doctor, kind of a lot, because I am fairly sure something is significantly wrong with me. After throwing around a bunch of large, uncomfortable words and scanning/poking/prodding every inch of me, it turns out that I'm just fine except for my red blood cell count, which happens to be ridiculously high. How does one fix that? One quits smoking, that's how. As for the rest of my health issues, whether they exist on paper or not, I know they're there and now I'm left to find a dietary cause. Step one, cut out the meat. Meat makes me want to smoke. May as well cut them both at the same time, eh?
An even better reason is that my friend is battling cancer within her family right now, and she's about to quit, and I thought it would be a friendly gesture to quit with her.
The biggest reason of all, though, is that my kids are old enough to know better. I am sick of hearing, "Mom, you smell like cigarettes," and, "Eww, mom, you're gross," and the cold, flat, mono-tone, "You're going to die, you know." I promised them I'd quit, a year ago, and it's time to make good on that. 1of3 told he he'd stop biting his nails if I stopped smoking. If that's not incentive, I don't know what is.
And so, with all of this in mind, yesterday I just let myself run out of cigarettes. I figured if it got awful, I could always run out for more. It didn't get awful. It got a little hairy this morning, and I cheated a little this morning, but I am totally ok with a little cheating here and there. It's not like I really want to quit, it's just that I know I should. And I am. And I will.
It's not that it's oh so terribly hard for me to quit; in fact, I cold-turkey quit every single time I've ever done it. All 6 times or so. OK, maybe that I've had to re-quit 6 times or so means it's an eencey bit harder than I'm willing to admit. It's just that I like smoking and it's the one grown up thing I get to do every day.
Somebody asked why I quit. I don't really know, exactly. There are a few reasons.
One is that I am a cheap cheap bastard and when I look at the monthly budget and realize we spend more on cigarettes every month than we do our groceries, well, I take issue with that. Smoking is more expensive than crack here.
Another reason is that I have been going to the doctor, kind of a lot, because I am fairly sure something is significantly wrong with me. After throwing around a bunch of large, uncomfortable words and scanning/poking/prodding every inch of me, it turns out that I'm just fine except for my red blood cell count, which happens to be ridiculously high. How does one fix that? One quits smoking, that's how. As for the rest of my health issues, whether they exist on paper or not, I know they're there and now I'm left to find a dietary cause. Step one, cut out the meat. Meat makes me want to smoke. May as well cut them both at the same time, eh?
An even better reason is that my friend is battling cancer within her family right now, and she's about to quit, and I thought it would be a friendly gesture to quit with her.
The biggest reason of all, though, is that my kids are old enough to know better. I am sick of hearing, "Mom, you smell like cigarettes," and, "Eww, mom, you're gross," and the cold, flat, mono-tone, "You're going to die, you know." I promised them I'd quit, a year ago, and it's time to make good on that. 1of3 told he he'd stop biting his nails if I stopped smoking. If that's not incentive, I don't know what is.
And so, with all of this in mind, yesterday I just let myself run out of cigarettes. I figured if it got awful, I could always run out for more. It didn't get awful. It got a little hairy this morning, and I cheated a little this morning, but I am totally ok with a little cheating here and there. It's not like I really want to quit, it's just that I know I should. And I am. And I will.
Reader Comments (8)
Good luck! I found your blog and have been totally unable to stop reading you! You are fabulous!
My husband and I are both smokers, we talk all the time about quitting, talk being the operative word. Our son is 3 and he tells me all the time that smoking will make me sick...it breaks my heart...you'd think that alone would be reason enough to quit those nasty things after all!
i quit in febraury after 15+ years of smoking. i'm 35 five and have heart problems. i had to. but just so you know, it really really helps if you at least want to. but most of all, good luck.
One of the ways that I quit (or at least strongly cut back) was to start rolling my own. Knowing that I have to sit down and make the damn cigarette helps the lazy side of me overcome the nicotine addict side of me.
Good luck with stopping and with the health concerns.
I smoked for two years in Germany when I was in my 20s. I decided it was a bad habit and I needed to quit while I easily could.
My grandmother was a lifetime smoker. My step-father and one of my sisters smoke. They've been lucky so far and haven't run into any smoking related health issues. In my hometown, the majority smoke.
Hi! I can totally relate. I quit six (ohmigod) years ago after smoking for 10+. When it is your time, you just know it is your time.
If it helps, I found that all the things I was most afraid would happen (like I would still dream about smoking years after quitting) did come true, but when they happened, they were not bad at all like I feared.
In fact, they were kind of sweet in their lack of actual scariness.
Good luck!
Anne at annenahm.com
There's no reason as good for quitting as just finally wanting to make it happen. It helps that your kids are behind you - the guilt factor is an excellent motivator. I like the Retropolitan's suggestion, too. I'm damn lazy, and lazy wins out over everything at my house. It would work for me!
Please quit, my new [best] friend. I swear, I want to get to know you until you are my best friend for ever. OK? Quit. I'm holding you to it. Oh and it's more grown up to be quit, I swear it is.
I totally get not wanting to quit. I still wish I could smoke most of the time...
Except in the one-degree-celcius-sideways-blowing wind-rain, that is.