peace out, three-one

Tonight I sat outside and watched my children play. L & B were wrestling in the grass and T was trying desperately to master the pogo-stick. I got to thinking about this past year; this year that has arguably been the hardest of my life. I got to thinking about all the choices I've made, all the things I've lost that lead to this, this point in my life. I get stuck a little sometimes in how hard this is, and how much harder it's going to get before it's all over, and how tiring it is and how frustrating it is and tonight as I watched my children play I thought through all of that again and I came to one conclusion.

I have the three most wonderful children in the history of birth-control gone awry. I have a home and a family and friends and everything that has happened up until this point has just been steering me in this direction.

I watched them play tonight and as L squealed and ran from B, as B tackled her and nibbled her tummy and she laughed harder than I have ever seen her, as T finally achieved his life-long goal of 5 whole consecutive jumps on the pogo-stick, I realized that this year had to suck so badly to get me where I am right this very second...and I wouldn't trade a second of it for the world.