It's time to play Ruin My Kids' Life!

(First things first: Popcorn? Big fat Zero. They hated it. It gave them The Pukes.)

Being a housewife and a stay-at-home-mom gets lonely. Eventually it starts to wear at you, and you find yourself doing things, private things, things you are ashamed of, things you don't want anyone to know you've done.

Like watching SuperNanny. Please don't tell anyone.

So, I'm watching SuperNanny last night, and though I don't agree with a lot of things on that show, I always find something that makes me say "Huh?". Like last night, and something about chores. I had a whole post written about how I am struggling in the chores department and how maybe I needed some advice. And then SuperNanny came to the rescue.

She set up this system for the family in question with a fishbowl full of felt fish with magnets on them. Each one had a chore written on it. The kids took a homemade fishing pole (stick+magnet+string) and went fishing for chores. They each got 2, and then they did them.

It's brilliant.

My struggle is in assigning them chores and keeping it balanced. It's tempting to give 2of3 the easy ones, because, well, he's short. He's always going to be short. And 1of3 is really, oddly tall. They get a little pissy with me for picking chores that they don't think are fair. But this way, oh this way, this way it's off of me and onto fate. *clouds part, angels sing* I am SAVED!

So here's my question: What kinds of chores are good for a 9 and a 7 year old? It's not that I didn't have chores as a kid, it's just that my brother and I did EVERYTHING. We did all the cooking and all the cleaning and I don't think that my worldview on chores is realistic for normal children. And here's where you come in. I need to put, oh, 6-10 chores in this fishbowl and I would like to offer you the chance of a lifetime! The chance to make my poor, abused children suffer with HOUSEWORK. What chores did you do at that age? What did you wish your mom made you do when you became an adult and suddenly realized you had no clue how to do it?

Rules: I am never going to let them cook more than tacos. I will not let them use strong cleaners, like bleach or lye or anything. I can barely change the baby's diaper, so that one's out for the kids. Aside from that, it's open season on the boys' Wii time. Have at it.