Entirely not appropriate

Today, I would like to share a post with you that I wrote just about a year ago today. Melissa as Such Simple Pleasures invites bloggers to re-post an old story from their archives on Saturdays. Here's my post from one year ago yesterday:

Today is the day one of my 157th* period. That number should be a lot higher, but I got to take of a lot of months off due to some fantastically awesome birth control, and a lot more months due to some fantastically failed birth control. Nursing took a chunk out of that number. So, in almost 19 years, I have pulled off only having to do this shit 157 times.

And after 19 long years of reproductivity, of mature womanhood, I have but one thing to say:

This shit still motherfucking sucks. I have a goddamn inner-tube of pain. Grrrr.

But, being National Compliment Day, I will be cheery and nice while I eat a whole carton of Bon Bons and chase it with a bag of the saltiest chips money can buy.

Ready?

Wow, you are totally awesome. You are so funny and witty and nice. Did I mention cute? Dude, you are way smoking. The pants make you ass look fantastic! Did you do something different with your hair? New pomade? Are those highlights going on in there? Whatever it is, keep doing it for sure. You don't look a day over 28, seriously! And that thing you said the other day? Sheer poetry. You simply blow my mind. How did I ever get so lucky as to have you for a friend?

*Yes, I actually busted out a calculator for this post. Sad, isn't it? Any hobby suggestions?

Good to know that not much has changed in a year, huh?

Valentine's applications are still rolling in!

Comments

[suchsimplepleasures]

have i told you lately...i heart you!!! you are awesome!!!
xoxo

[Kelly]

You are bloody hilarious. Get it! Ha-ha, I'm such a nerd.

Hey, hope you were using a tampoon that day. Have ya heard of em?

[Audubon Ron]

Hey you it's me passing through.

[OHmommy]

Funny. I will have to try that... in about three days.

BTW, I just read your blogger profile and realized you are a John Irving fan. My all time most favorite author ever. I usually finish in one sitting. And I am at the edge of my seat. Must be that desperate housewife thing. :)

[cablegirl]

Hahah. Too funny. Now I'm tempted tot break out my calculator as well.

Thanks for the giggle.

Just blog hopping through. :D

[Big Dan]

Why thank you very much.

Another Blog hopper

[Laura]

Oh - I sooooo hear you!!! I am faving my 8th shitty period in 3 years and it is KILLING me...yes, this shit still motherfucking sucks!

You go girl!!!

Found you through Scrolling Saturdays - and will come back to read more for sure! You rock my friend!!!

[Marlee]

You getting out the calculator makes me feel a lot better about *me* counting 243 days on the calendar. One-by-one. ;)

[Caffeine Court]

Hey thanks-I just got a crown foil to add some highlights around my face! I'm glad you noticed.

I've suffered through my monthly business 254 times. That's alot of Super Plus 'Ponnies and Rocky Road Ice Cream. I seriously think I should be placed in solitary confinement for 3 days a month in order to protect myself and anyone who f---s with me.

[Veronica]

Yep, it sucks. And I have only being doing it for 7 years minus one pregnancy. (Nursing didn't stop my periods coming back at 8w post partum. Dammit!)

[agent provacateur]

Hobby Suggestion: Phone Sex Operator

Whaaa?

[mr lady]

Testing,,,,

[Jenni]

And people wonder why I keep getting pregnant! Duh, no periods.